Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of eight children (Irish Catholic, no bc, don't get me started on that). It was HELL. Not enough clothes, no time with parents, never went anywhere. I would never wish that on any child. DH and I are having two max.

I am the youngest of 7 and had an amazing, loving, wonderful childhood. The best thing my parents ever, ever, gave me were my siblings. BUT, having multiple kids is not for everyone--and that's fine! Life can be wonderful, children can feel happy and loved with no siblings. Families come in all shapes and sizes.

Anonymous wrote:I was one of eight children (Irish Catholic, no bc, don't get me started on that). It was HELL. Not enough clothes, no time with parents, never went anywhere. I would never wish that on any child. DH and I are having two max.

Anonymous wrote:I was one of eight children (Irish Catholic, no bc, don't get me started on that). It was HELL. Not enough clothes, no time with parents, never went anywhere. I would never wish that on any child. DH and I are having two max.

Anonymous wrote:It feels like everyone I know is either pregnant with twins or announcing their third baby. We've compromised at one-and-done, but I certainly do catch myself feeling jealous or wishing it were me. It's not gonna be me, though.

Anyone care to share perks of an only? Or ways to achieve that "full of kids house" feeling that I want to have as DC gets older? ("Give it a few years, your DH will come around!" comments are not welcome.)

Here are mine so far:

- We'll be energetic and sort of young when DC goes to college, and still be able to travel/renovate a home/do youthful things.
- At sports games, I can stand on the sidelines with my coffee instead of chase a toddler all over the adjacent fields. And if I want, I can offer to chase someone else's toddler.
- I can afford to take more trips and offer to pay for a friend of DC's to join us when we go on summer vacation.
- Instead of going to ballet and hockey and piano three nights a week, I can go to just one or two things and take a class myself.
- I can hep with homework and make dinner AND have time to read a book before I go to bed.
- I'll never have to choose where to spend a holiday or which graduation to attend.

Anonymous wrote:I don't look like the dishelved mom of three in my neighborhood - who NEVER quite seems to have her shit together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here, I read through this entire thread and most frequently mentioned advantages of having one and only seem to be all money related. I am wondering if many of you would change your mind if you had monetary resources to have more than one kid and still continue maintaining exact same lifestyle.

If you take money out of equation then what is the real advantage of having an only kid? Let's pretend for a second that money is not an issue and that hypothetically, you can afford the same lifestyle, live in the same area, send kids to private school if needed, afford the same vacations and overseas trips, hire additional help to enjoy the same amount of couple/personal time and not have to deal with extra cooking/cleaning, etc. If this was the case, would this have any influence on your decision on how many kids to have?

This is a different question for a s/o thread (one that was recently posted, btw). THIS thread is to help those of us who can't freaking have more than one feel better about having "only" one. For me, it's not a decision. I'm not trying to be bitchy, but I'm frustrated by how many people seem to be completely ignoring the objective of this thread.

Anonymous wrote:NP here, I read through this entire thread and most frequently mentioned advantages of having one and only seem to be all money related. I am wondering if many of you would change your mind if you had monetary resources to have more than one kid and still continue maintaining exact same lifestyle.

If you take money out of equation then what is the real advantage of having an only kid? Let's pretend for a second that money is not an issue and that hypothetically, you can afford the same lifestyle, live in the same area, send kids to private school if needed, afford the same vacations and overseas trips, hire additional help to enjoy the same amount of couple/personal time and not have to deal with extra cooking/cleaning, etc. If this was the case, would this have any influence on your decision on how many kids to have?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an only and DH and I are currently debating having an only or trying again. I feel all the pros have been touched on over and over---my house was also the house as previously mentioned the "fun" house, after prom, sleepovers etc were always at my house. My mom always had an open door policy. We had friends come on trips with us, and I never remembered feeling slighted, if anything I felt thankful. The only downside is my parents were older ( mom had me at 40)--this may not be the case for all, but I feel being an only helped to make my mom and I have an amazing relationship, I can honestly say she is one of my best friends. We talk every day, usually multiple times--my parents moved closer ( as they could since I am an only and don't have to split time) to be near their grand baby and have forged an amazing relationship already. My only concern honestly in having an only--is I know I am terrified of when my parents pass, yes there are friends and my amazing husband, but I watched my aunt and my mom lean on each other when my grandma passed away this past fall ( all of us are quite close), and that bond they shared and ability to be each others support is the only thing swaying me now. I know as others have mentioned it is no guarantee, but having seen my dad ( an only) and my mom and her sister go thru the loss of parents they were extremely close to is night and day. Anyways, I don't have an answer, but I can say that I had an amazing childhood, felt loved unconditionally and never felt that I lacked friends/reason to come home/had sad Christmas's . If there is love in the house your child will feel it with or without siblings!

You're awesome. Thank you for posting.

Anonymous wrote:I am an only and DH and I are currently debating having an only or trying again. I feel all the pros have been touched on over and over---my house was also the house as previously mentioned the "fun" house, after prom, sleepovers etc were always at my house. My mom always had an open door policy. We had friends come on trips with us, and I never remembered feeling slighted, if anything I felt thankful. The only downside is my parents were older ( mom had me at 40)--this may not be the case for all, but I feel being an only helped to make my mom and I have an amazing relationship, I can honestly say she is one of my best friends. We talk every day, usually multiple times--my parents moved closer ( as they could since I am an only and don't have to split time) to be near their grand baby and have forged an amazing relationship already. My only concern honestly in having an only--is I know I am terrified of when my parents pass, yes there are friends and my amazing husband, but I watched my aunt and my mom lean on each other when my grandma passed away this past fall ( all of us are quite close), and that bond they shared and ability to be each others support is the only thing swaying me now. I know as others have mentioned it is no guarantee, but having seen my dad ( an only) and my mom and her sister go thru the loss of parents they were extremely close to is night and day. Anyways, I don't have an answer, but I can say that I had an amazing childhood, felt loved unconditionally and never felt that I lacked friends/reason to come home/had sad Christmas's . If there is love in the house your child will feel it with or without siblings!

Anonymous wrote:NP here, I read through this entire thread and most frequently mentioned advantages of having one and only seem to be all money related. I am wondering if many of you would change your mind if you had monetary resources to have more than one kid and still continue maintaining exact same lifestyle.

If you take money out of equation then what is the real advantage of having an only kid? Let's pretend for a second that money is not an issue and that hypothetically, you can afford the same lifestyle, live in the same area, send kids to private school if needed, afford the same vacations and overseas trips, hire additional help to enjoy the same amount of couple/personal time and not have to deal with extra cooking/cleaning, etc. If this was the case, would this have any influence on your decision on how many kids to have?