Of course, most parents guide their children and have certain requirements for them. I don't actually see anyone here suggesting that parents provide no guidance and structure for their children's lives.

But beyond a certain level, there is room for a child's preferences to be part of choices made. Yes, they must eat their vegetables, but if one child prefers broccoli to cauliflower, it is okay to eat more of one than the other. After a child has been introduced to many activities, their preferences and inclinations may lead them to deeper involvement with one over another. As long as a child eats a variety of healthy foods, it doesn't really matter which ones they choose as far as good health is concerned. Likewise, a child exposed to a variety of worthwhile activities can spend the most time on the ones they enjoy the most. Kids do need to develop the ability to make good choices, and where better to do it than when they are still at home with us?

My child, a student at TJ, never participated in test prep. My child was very involved in athletic activities and music/arts activities in middle school, all driven by a strong interest in achieving in these activities.

As a parent of a TJ student, I see lots of kids on the athletic fields there every week day and some weekends, too. The kids who get the most out of their TJ experience are involved in and excited by all kinds of activities, both inside and outside of school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
According to a many DCUM posters, your approach with your kids gets them top scores. Your kids are therefore "prepped" and "packaged" and this makes it a rat race for them and their kids. These posters don't like this. Because it may force their own kids to turn off the TV and study harder. This will make their Marlboro men less "Rhodes Scholar-type" leaders and "less interesting". More importantly, this approach will cut into our multiple planned vacations during the year so we can recoup our sanity on the threadmill of life. What are these posters to do? They don't want their children attending Podunk University.

Your rhetorical skills are sorely lacking. No one can spend more than a few minutes perusing DCUM and come away with the impression that DCUM posters, as a group, are a bunch of couch potatoes with indolent kids.

But, please keep it up. The "it's a TJ thing; you wouldn't understand" attitude of recent years has clearly built an enormous reservoir of good will.

some good responses here!

Anonymous wrote:
According to a many DCUM posters, your approach with your kids gets them top scores. Your kids are therefore "prepped" and "packaged" and this makes it a rat race for them and their kids. These posters don't like this. Because it may force their own kids to turn off the TV and study harder. This will make their Marlboro men less "Rhodes Scholar-type" leaders and "less interesting". More importantly, this approach will cut into our multiple planned vacations during the year so we can recoup our sanity on the threadmill of life. What are these posters to do? They don't want their children attending Podunk University.

Your rhetorical skills are sorely lacking. No one can spend more than a few minutes perusing DCUM and come away with the impression that DCUM posters, as a group, are a bunch of couch potatoes with indolent kids.

But, please keep it up. The "it's a TJ thing; you wouldn't understand" attitude of recent years has clearly built an enormous reservoir of good will.

Anonymous wrote:It's not a choice of study vs. sport. It's a choice of study & sport vs. TV. In our house the kids do 3 hours of study each day and 2 hours of Ice Hockey or Tae Kwon Do each day. That's 35 hours a week. The White House recently reported "average" kid watched 40 hours a week of TV. OK, they may be missing out on all the TV shows but I'm OK with that. They are happy and well adjusted.

I don't doubt if I said "fine do whatever you want" they might plop themselves in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream but that's not my parenting style. You could call me a tiger dad (although I'm white) and I'd take it as a complement.

I don't worry about my kids having to compete with other high achievers (I like it actually) and I sure don't believe there is reverse discrimination at TJ. I do worry about the idea that there are people who believe somehow hard work and commitment are unfair and should be stopped. I don't think my kids would be better off if they studied and exercised less and watched more TV, but that's just me.....

What grade?
3 hours of study and 2 hours of Ice Hockey/Tae Kwon Do each day sounds little too mcuh.
The kids may get burned out eventually, but you know better about your kid.

Self-motivation & self-discipline is very important, too.
When they are in college, you won't be there to turn off the TV for them.
I'm sure you already know it all, and again you know your kid the best.
Good luck.

It's not a choice of study vs. sport. It's a choice of study & sport vs. TV. In our house the kids do 3 hours of study each day and 2 hours of Ice Hockey or Tae Kwon Do each day. That's 35 hours a week. The White House recently reported "average" kid watched 40 hours a week of TV. OK, they may be missing out on all the TV shows but I'm OK with that. They are happy and well adjusted.

I don't doubt if I said "fine do whatever you want" they might plop themselves in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream but that's not my parenting style. You could call me a tiger dad (although I'm white) and I'd take it as a complement.

I don't worry about my kids having to compete with other high achievers (I like it actually) and I sure don't believe there is reverse discrimination at TJ. I do worry about the idea that there are people who believe somehow hard work and commitment are unfair and should be stopped. I don't think my kids would be better off if they studied and exercised less and watched more TV, but that's just me.....

According to a many DCUM posters, your approach with your kids gets them top scores. Your kids are therefore "prepped" and "packaged" and this makes it a rat race for them and their kids. These posters don't like this. Because it may force their own kids to turn off the TV and study harder. This will make their Marlboro men less "Rhodes Scholar-type" leaders and "less interesting". More importantly, this approach will cut into our multiple planned vacations during the year so we can recoup our sanity on the threadmill of life. What are these posters to do? They don't want their children attending Podunk University.

Nope, actually that's my point. Every kid is different. So... you don't need to worry about other kids spending 10% of time spending physical activities and 90% in academics, vice versa, 50:50, whatever. Or being tiger mom or packaging the kids, etc..
You know your kids the best and especially smart parents in the forum would probably do the right things to maximize happiness of the kids throughout their lives.

There maybe cases parents driving kids unhappy, but that's ok, too.. not my kids.

Proper reference is here (apologies to the mispost)

You clearly have made no points with your winding diatribe but are quick to tag on to other posts. You are exposed...the empress has no clothes. Estch a sketch careening from one position to the next.

Did any one on this thread read the letter that came home from Starr a few weeks ago about 2.0? The curriculum is being changed because the state signed on to the new Common Core Curriculum. The curriculum was going to change BY LAW whether you wanted it to or not. 2.0 is MCPS's attempt to (1) adapt it to the MCPS needs and (2) recoup the money spent to create it by packaging it and selling it to other school systems that need to do the same thing. Dozens of states will be under Common Core. If MCPS had to do a new curriculum, I think it is smart for them to try to sell it to recoup the costs.

So all of you who can accept change, talk to the BOE and the state of Maryland. For that matter, tell Congress that NCLB is not working.

You clearly have made no points with your winding diatribe but are quick to tag on to other posts. You are exposed...the empress has no clothes. Estch a sketch careening from one position to the next.

It's not a choice of study vs. sport. It's a choice of study & sport vs. TV. In our house the kids do 3 hours of study each day and 2 hours of Ice Hockey or Tae Kwon Do each day. That's 35 hours a week. The White House recently reported "average" kid watched 40 hours a week of TV. OK, they may be missing out on all the TV shows but I'm OK with that. They are happy and well adjusted.

I don't doubt if I said "fine do whatever you want" they might plop themselves in front of the TV with a bowl of ice cream but that's not my parenting style. You could call me a tiger dad (although I'm white) and I'd take it as a complement.

I don't worry about my kids having to compete with other high achievers (I like it actually) and I sure don't believe there is reverse discrimination at TJ. I do worry about the idea that there are people who believe somehow hard work and commitment are unfair and should be stopped. I don't think my kids would be better off if they studied and exercised less and watched more TV, but that's just me.....

Anonymous wrote:

I want my kid to be a well rounded happy person.
Happiness is the purpose and goal in life.
Do whatever you think is the best for your kid.
That's all.

I see you actually believe you have a monopoly on these goals and Asian Americans or other groups don't want their kids to be happy, well rounded, and happiness as a goal in life? Are you of the "one size fits all" for happiness in life ... and that size is your size?

You bet, other parents are doing what is best for their children, and they have happy children and what they are doing for their children may not be what you doing for your children. Do you have a problem with this or do you want to continue to dictate to peoples around the world and your own fellow citizens what happiness is and how they should live? What happened to the first amendment and free enterprise?

Nope, actually that's my point. Every kid is different. So... you don't need to worry about other kids spending 10% of time spending physical activities and 90% in academics, vice versa, 50:50, whatever. Or being tiger mom or packaging the kids, etc..
You know your kids the best and especially smart parents in the forum would probably do the right things to maximize happiness of the kids throughout their lives.

There maybe cases parents driving kids unhappy, but that's ok, too.. not my kids.

if it's the kid's idea, fine. But not if the parent says you must do this stuff to get into TJ! That just creates a rat-race that I thik inhibits the normal healthy development of children.
Lucily, colleges spot these packaged kids a mile away and can limit their numbers in the student body, but apparently TJ choses not to. (I read that if Cal-Berkely went just by test scores and grades Asians would be about 80 percent of the student body. As it is, Asians are only around 50 percent of the student body. And it is the number one public university in the U.S.)>

For the smart and gifted kiddies of DCUMMIES activities such as drinking milk, eating vegetables, bathing and brushing teeth daily, limiting TV, video and computer time, practicing their daily music lessons are all driven by their kids. It's the kids' idea. These super kids should be running our households, businesses and Congress.

I on the other hand have to provide guidance, leadership and mentorship for my own children and hope they will make honest, ethical and good decisions as they mature and lead successful and happy lives. None of my kids were born "gifted", "wise" or "mature". My parents participated in my decisions about private school, college, and beyond. I still enjoy bouncing ideas off them and their feedback and wise counsel. I'm glad all my children still approach us for advise and counsel about important decisions and choices even though I put them into their first music, math, chess and sports camps and it was never their own idea. They still engage in all these activities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry Koreans got the highest average IQ (as a country, after Hong Kong).
Also Asians in general got the highest average IQ.
Maybe that's part of the reason so many Korans and Asians in TJ.
That and hard work.

http://sq.4mg.com/NationIQ.htm

I can't even follow this link because my corporate filter says it has such a poor reputation for untrustworthiness, spam attacks, and malware. It's hard for me to be persuaded.

I think your corporate filter is wrong. It's nothing but text based HTML page.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/edu_ave_iq-education-average-iq
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_Differences_in_Intelligence

You can also google it for yourself.

Yes, Colleges do spot these packaged kids a mile away --- trips to Europe and Africa (safari) to help the poor and indigent; volunteering in hospitals and soup kitchens 2 years leading up to college applications; and signing up for crew and squash in high school. Oh yes, we can smell these phonies a mile way even with a face mask! I interview them every college season in the Potomac Valley.

Anonymous wrote:

if it's the kid's idea, fine. But not if the parent says you must do this stuff to get into TJ! That just creates a rat-race that I thik inhibits the normal healthy development of children.
Lucily, colleges spot these packaged kids a mile away and can limit their numbers in the student body, but apparently TJ choses not to. (I read that if Cal-Berkely went just by test scores and grades Asians would be about 80 percent of the student body. As it is, Asians are only around 50 percent of the student body. And it is the number one public university in the U.S.)>

Kids' idea is usually watching lots of TV and playing lots of game and eating lots of candy.

By the 50% sounds amazing. What's the Asian population % in US?