Anonymous wrote:OP,
Most of your discontent has to do with sex. It is mentioned over and over. How often are you getting it on now? Did you feel rejected when it was less and did that play into your feelings changing? His saying you have no problems or whatever sounds pretty dismissive. What IS working about your relationship? What are specific things you want from him and have you asked for them?

I see the same thing. I relate to a point, OP. I still like and love my husband, but I recognize your feelings and shared them for quite a while. My husband was the same way with my first pregnancy (and very early on, which is why it was problematic) and I definitely took it personally. Honestly, our sex life has never fully recovered - I got so accustomed the lack of intimacy that it became the new status quo that I can't be bothered to change. I don't turn him down, but I never initiate anymore. I was always a very physical person but I feel like that part of me died when he refused to touch me or about 8 months. Maybe that will get better with time, too, though he'll need to step up his fairly lazy game to make it happen. There's something very wounding about your husband finding you repulsive, even if you know it's temporary and they're weirded out by the woman-as-mother thing. I recommend couples therapy if time isn't healing the wound.

Anonymous wrote:Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.

I make 3x what my husband does. I will never be homeless or hungry, and neither will my kids.

Ggh

OP here. I saw my old thread revived a month ago and wanted to give an update to anyone who is interested.

I had some health problems and DH was there by my side at the hospital. My parents required assistance and DH stepped up. I have grown up and now realize that marriage is not all passion and excitement. It was childish of me to think that our love had faded. I can't remember all the details I shared on this thread but DH is physically attractive, smart and very successful. Best of all, DH is a fabulous hands on father. My kids adore him and I am glad that I stayed for the sake of our children.

Sleep deprivation made me into a total bitch. I essentially had not slept well for about 5 years. Now that I am getting a good night sleep most nights, I am a new person. The boys now play together and I no longer have to spend every waking minute catering to them. DH did acknowledge that he had no time to focus on me after working FT and being a dad. I have accepted this and am fine with it. We have much better communication.

As others have advised on this thread, the first years of parenthood are tough but I now feel closer to DH than ever. I'm still not that attracted to him but I at least like him as a friend. I used to be so irritated him by every move that he made. Our children mean everything to us and I would not trade our family for a potential spark that would eventually fade. I am assuming the way I felt for the past few years is why many people probably have affairs. I am glad I did not and kept our family in tact.

Anonymous wrote:Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.

Ok, crazy misogynist. Some of us support ourselves, so can leave a husband without being homeless. Go back to your cave -- alone, I'm guessing.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.

What makes you think she'd be homeless and hungry and raising kids alone? There's alimony, child support, and he can have joint custody There are some men that disgust the sh1t out of me, namely, a man who left his wife the week she started her chemotherapy for a women 15yrs younger than her, leaving her with 2 young children. Top that one.

Of course YOU bring up alimony, child support, and all the skewed laws designed to ensure marriage remains a wealth transfer facilitated by the government. Which is Exhibit 1B on why men should never get married.

Anonymous wrote:There are some men that disgust the sh1t out of me, namely, a man who left his wife the week she started her chemotherapy for a women 15yrs younger than her, leaving her with 2 young children. Top that one.

That's pretty pathetic. But I guess that makes YOU the winner of the eternal WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN MEN debate.

Anonymous wrote:Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.

LOL!

The OP to this thread is Exhibit 1A for why men should never get married. This woman has it all but yet is so fed up she's willing to flush her FAMILY and her MARRIAGE down the toilet so she can roll the dice on the sexual market in an attempt to find her "soul mate." Please, help me stop laughing.

And, uh, hate to break it to you, but it's all downhill from 33. If you're moderately attractive, successful men will be interested in flings and short term dates, but they WON'T be interested in LTRs with single mothers with children. Why on earth would we want to get involved with a single mom's immense baggage when I have date attractive young women without the baggage of previously-formed families? If you think anyone is going to put up having to deal with your ex, or custody transfers, or any of that garbage, you're mistaken. This isn't Allentown, PA.

One reason why living in DC is so great, limitless dating options for men.

Anonymous wrote:Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.

What makes you think she'd be homeless and hungry and raising kids alone? There's alimony, child support, and he can have joint custody There are some men that disgust the sh1t out of me, namely, a man who left his wife the week she started her chemotherapy for a women 15yrs younger than her, leaving her with 2 young children. Top that one.

Anonymous wrote:I am unhappy. WTF? If you husband is a good provider, great father, etc. you want leave with his kids and his money that earns for your family.? Get thee to a therapist. Love is not a feeling. It Is work. It is action. Your DH shows his love for you every day he goes out to provide for you and your little ones. All,you ladies expecting eternal spark and romance need to grow up. Figure out how to make it work. I had to leave because of serial adultery and abuse. What is your very real problem?

You make it sounds like no women contribute money to the household, or like men have no responsibility beyond making money. And it's not "your little ones." They are his children too, you know.

I am unhappy. WTF? If you husband is a good provider, great father, etc. you want leave with his kids and his money that earns for your family.? Get thee to a therapist. Love is not a feeling. It Is work. It is action. Your DH shows his love for you every day he goes out to provide for you and your little ones. All,you ladies expecting eternal spark and romance need to grow up. Figure out how to make it work. I had to leave because of serial adultery and abuse. What is your very real problem?

Anonymous wrote:Not only do I dislike my husband, but he nauseates me. My husband had a non-sexual relationship with my girlfriend 23 years ago and I just found out they both lied to me. I called up after all these years and they both confessed how much they deceived me and lied to me. Although, it was yet non-sexual, The did other things. I hate him and her for the deception. I cannot believe that he carried on this lie knowing the truth and yet had sex with me all these years. He's a dirty-dog bastard and he sickens me. I'm not going to ask what should I do. I already told him how I feel about him and he's old and dumb now, so he really doesn't care. What of waste of 23 out of 29 years.

What are "other things"?

OP: Many women go through divorce and find someone they like better. But not with a little baby. Can you wait until the baby is a bit older so that you can date? There is no reason for someone as young as you are to stay forever in a marriage that does not fit you. Being a single, divorced mom is very hard (might be harder than the loveless marriage) but in the long run it is better for everyone if you get out now before you are 45 and still unhappy. The older you are, the harder it is to find someone, but I have seen it happen many times that a woman in her 30s finds someone else that they are much happier with. It sounds like you did what was expected and now you feel very hollow in the relationship.

Disliking a husband beats the hell out of being homeless, hungry and raising kids alone.

Put a smile on your face and be a damn wife. God you women disgust the shit out of me.