Anonymous
07/16/2012 21:23
Subject: Re:Would you leave your wife if....
I think at some point, you stop being a victim and become a volunteer. All that time you spend in the gym, getting into the "best shape of your life", just find a quiet affair partner.
The feigned helplessness is boring and an illusion. Your own happiness is, and has always been, within your own reach.
The feigned helplessness is boring and an illusion. Your own happiness is, and has always been, within your own reach.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 20:21
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:[quote=
Want an honest answer? I also fear being some lonely, middle-aged man
But You are currently a lonely, middle aged man who happens to also be sexless. As Cher Would say, "snap out of it". You are not doing your children any favors. And I pity your boys if you them. You have been emotionally and mentally castrated. The reason you cannot attract a woman who would be interested in you is because you are not exhibiting strength and that is what we like in our men.
Do what you need to do to pull yourself together. If you have already gone the counselor route it is time to find a lawyer. Go to the gym and pull I. Your gut. Continue to be a father to your children. Once the divorce is final and you have gotten yourself together log on to one of the respected dating sites. There are women out there who would be a better fit than your current predicament. And there is a man out there for your wife who is a better fit. You have to be proactive and stop whining.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 16:54
Subject: Re:Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A woman here. For the life of me I don't know how you can think that she loves you and feels bad and won't have sex for five years. As a human being, if you loved someone, wouldn't you want to make that person happy. We are talking FIVE FUCKNIG YEARS here. Not five days. That almost sounds inhuman to me.
Men do the same thing to their wives. But the difference is that you can get laid anytime you want, we can't. It is the one thing you have over us.
Not true at all. (I'm the pp you are quoting). Where do you get the notion that women can get laid any time we want? SOME women can, and SOME men can too. 90% of the time that's not true.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 16:48
Subject: Re:Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:A woman here. For the life of me I don't know how you can think that she loves you and feels bad and won't have sex for five years. As a human being, if you loved someone, wouldn't you want to make that person happy. We are talking FIVE FUCKNIG YEARS here. Not five days. That almost sounds inhuman to me.
Men do the same thing to their wives. But the difference is that you can get laid anytime you want, we can't. It is the one thing you have over us.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 16:30
Subject: Re:Would you leave your wife if....
A woman here. For the life of me I don't know how you can think that she loves you and feels bad and won't have sex for five years. As a human being, if you loved someone, wouldn't you want to make that person happy. We are talking FIVE FUCKNIG YEARS here. Not five days. That almost sounds inhuman to me.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 14:15
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
But you are not looking from our prospective - we lose the kids and if you have been SAHM, a lot of assets. You get to troll for men with your friends. We have to buy drinks for some bimbo who wants to play games.
Want an honest answer? I also fear being some lonely, middle-aged guy.
They receive an equittable amount, but not all or most. As a matter of fact, most divorced women end up less well off than divorced men. If she is SAH for only five years, a judge will require her to return to work or input an income. You guys are staying in these marriages because they are convenient and you are making excuses. Do you not think your children witness the lackluster relationship. This is possibly more harmful to the children than an amicable divorce. Seek a divorce attorney and learn your rights. The domestic courts of 2012 are not the courts of 1980, 1990 or even 2000.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:56
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
But you are not looking from our prospective - we lose the kids and if you have been SAHM, a lot of assets. You get to troll for men with your friends. We have to buy drinks for some bimbo who wants to play games.
They receive an equittable amount, but not all or most. As a matter of fact, most divorced women end up less well off than divorced men. If she is SAH for only five years, a judge will require her to return to work or input an income. You guys are staying in these marriages because they are convenient and you are making excuses. Do you not think your children witness the lackluster relationship. This is possibly more harmful to the children than an amicable divorce. Seek a divorce attorney and learn your rights. The domestic courts of 2012 are not the courts of 1980, 1990 or even 2000.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:53
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
But you are not looking from our prospective - we lose the kids and if you have been SAHM, a lot of assets. You get to troll for men with your friends. We have to buy drinks for some bimbo who wants to play games.
Do you warn your single buddies to avoid the SAH route once they start talking marriage?
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:44
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
But you are not looking from our prospective - we lose the kids and if you have been SAHM, a lot of assets. You get to troll for men with your friends. We have to buy drinks for some bimbo who wants to play games.
Thats exactly right, there is no upside to leaving for the men. We lose our family, the place we live, we get looked as selfish and uncaring and are working not towards some better life, but to simply support her. and then I have to go out and try to find a woman who could possibly deal with all of this. You hear about men being trapped in a marriage, but it really is true.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:41
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
I have no idea, but I also have no idea what to do. I have tried literally everything that every woman on this board has suggested. She knows its wrong, she feels badly about it, but its just at the very bottom of her list. After all this time I wonder what my performance will be like when we eventually do.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:34
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
But you are not looking from our prospective - we lose the kids and if you have been SAHM, a lot of assets. You get to troll for men with your friends. We have to buy drinks for some bimbo who wants to play games.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:27
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
5 1/2 fucking years?? I'm a DW and I can tell you, my husband would have been gone. GONE. Probably over 3 years ago. What the hell has had her so tired for FIVE YEARS?
Anonymous
07/16/2012 13:02
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a very involved dad. Access to my kids is the only reason I stay in my sexless marriage. I might as well be a monk.
+1
+2
+3 and many unknown others
Anonymous
07/16/2012 12:58
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow... didn't realize this was so common. My DW and I have been married for years and have two kids. I love my DW very much but we haven't had sex since my youngest was conceived. In a way I feel trapped. I love my kids and my DW more than life itself and while I want to have sex with my DW I don't want to force it upon her. I've never felt that she really enjoyed it all that much. In my single years I was with women who I could tell enjoyed it by the way they participated. I get the feeling that when we do have sex that she is "doing her duty" and not doing it because she wants to be with me. That of course has a problematic effect on my "performance" shall we say. It has been a very long time since we've had sex and every once in a while she'll realize it and tell me that she feels really bad about it. I also don't want her to feel she has to have sex because of guilt. I'd never consider leaving or cheating on her but obviously there is a frustration and a feeling that we are missing out on what otherwise is a perfect marriage.
Yup, this is where I am at now except we are coming up on 5 1/2 years of a dry spell. Divorce is not an option and neither is cheating. She is always tired at the end of the day and there are always kids in the house who might interrupt which means she never wants to. I have tried everything imaginable, but she just can't find the will to take care of me. It is sad and I do feel depressed about this on a regular basis, but I am literally stuck.
Both of you are me. Divorce would suck because of the effect on the kids and the financial implciations for all of us. I do not want to see my children one night a week and every other weekend. Not interested in cheating because quite frankly, do not want to go out and look for someone to do the deed. A call girl? Of course this is cheating but might be a way to at least touch another woman's body. This is what I miss the most.
Anonymous
07/16/2012 12:50
Subject: Would you leave your wife if....
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When will these men realize that the reason their DWs don't want to have sex with them is not that they don't like SEX...it's that they don't like SEX with them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I agree.
Aolso, it's difficult to be attracted to your DH if you are pissed off at him all the time.
Right. Having a husband that lets you be a stay at home mom, who financially provide for you and your kids now and thier future, a husband that does not go to poker nights, strip clubs or golf weekends, a husband that lets you sleep more than anyone in the house, a husband that rushes home from work to watch the kids so you can work on multiple causes, a husband that gets gets the kids ready for bed every night... Why wouldn't any DW be pissed at a husband line that?
I know this post is old, but you are being played for a sucker. She is having sex with somebody. It just isn't you. Sorry.