If you have had 3 failed marriages, I'm assuming there have been an exponential # of failed relationships. Perhaps this person is too busy looking for a mate rather than figuring out how to be a good mate.

To be fair, sometimes you need to know why a person did what they did. Youthful indiscretions and impulses that have since been resolved with the person becoming sober/ going to therapy long-term/ generally turning their life around is quite different than an obviously self-destructive, out of control person.

Signed,
Married for the third and final time

Anonymous wrote:While I wouldn't date or marry someone who had been divorced three times, I also wouldn't consider them a 'three time loser'. Sometimes divorce is winning- every marriage isn't built to last.

I would. If you didn't learn your lesson the first two times, failing a third time makes you a three-time loser.

If your first two marriages end in divorce, get the hint already.

A friend is in a long term relationship with a guy who has been divorced 3 times and has 5 kids (all grown now). He's a great guy and they've been living together for over 10 years now. I don't think they will get married - no real need to - but are otherwise in a committed relationship. I don't know what happened in the other marriages but he's got great relationships with the kids, I think okay relationships with the exes, and has been great to my friend.

My mother did this, married a very charming man who had been divorced 3 times. Everything was peachy-keen for the first 2 years but then he became a bitter, angry, controlling asshole. After 7 years he left her cold and she hasn't heard from him since 2013. He never even met his ONLY grandchild. Nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:it depends on why the other ones failed and how old he/we are. I would want to talk to one of the ex wives.

I've been married twice and I'm 30. My first marriage I was 18 he used me for a green card and beat the crap out of me. The second marriage was a rebound. I was lonely and wanted someone to be kind of me, who was American. He beat me and raped me. Now I'm 30 and divorced twice.

I'm so sorry that you've been victimized twice. However, I would think from this that you have low self esteem and you would not be an equal partner.

Wow. You have come to that conclusion because I was used when I was 18 yrs old? I remarried when I was 25, and was abused so the problem is with me? I am glad my amazing long term boyfriend doesn't think that way. I wouldn't want to be with someone who considered a rape victim beneath them.

While I wouldn't date or marry someone who had been divorced three times, I also wouldn't consider them a 'three time loser'. Sometimes divorce is winning- every marriage isn't built to last.

Anonymous wrote:it depends on why the other ones failed and how old he/we are. I would want to talk to one of the ex wives.

I've been married twice and I'm 30. My first marriage I was 18 he used me for a green card and beat the crap out of me. The second marriage was a rebound. I was lonely and wanted someone to be kind of me, who was American. He beat me and raped me. Now I'm 30 and divorced twice.

I'm so sorry that you've been victimized twice. However, I would think from this that you have low self esteem and you would not be an equal partner.

it depends on why the other ones failed and how old he/we are. I would want to talk to one of the ex wives.

I've been married twice and I'm 30. My first marriage I was 18 he used me for a green card and beat the crap out of me. The second marriage was a rebound. I was lonely and wanted someone to be kind of me, who was American. He beat me and raped me. Now I'm 30 and divorced twice.

He's already a three-time loser and you will be his 4Th divorce. I would not even go out with someone who had been divorced twice.

thanks for all the great insightful comments....I am chatting online with a 3x divorced man, a supposed Christian and I am very very leery....will probe a tad more however I think I already know to move on

No.

Anonymous wrote:A friend who'd never been married became wife #4 in her late 40's. New DH had $$$$$. Paid for surrogate pregnancy w/DE and friend has lovely child. So far it's working for her!

Why not?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

No

A friend who'd never been married became wife #4 in her late 40's. New DH had $$$$$. Paid for surrogate pregnancy w/DE and friend has lovely child. So far it's working for her!