at a 28% gross test, which is a pretty conservative ratio, you can easily qualify for a $5K mtg payment with gross income of $214K. So while I appreciate the fiscally prudent attitude on this thread, it really isn't the norm. The people who get into trouble with their mortgages are those where the ratio is more like 50% or even higher.

I am curious what people mean when they say they "max out" retirement. When you say you max out 401ks, do you mean you contribute the absolute maximum that you can (I think for this year, it's $16.5K), or do you mean you contribute what you need to maximize your employer match? To me, it would be the aboslute max. And when you say you "max out" retirement, what does that mean in addition to your 401k contributions? That you each have an IRA that you fully fund each year? That's what it means to me, but again, I just want to know if that's what other people intend as well.

To the pp above with $250k HHI and a $5k mortgage, how are you making that work with such a large margin to not feel pinched? I mean, I know the numbers work out, but you say you're also spending $10k a year on a house project, and have daycare costs. I know when our mortgage was at $4k on about the same HHI, we felt a little pinched in terms of having much extra cash after committing to retirement and college savings (and we have no car payment or credit card debt, just a small student loan). Do you think you are particularly frugal in terms of other household expenses?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of the first posters with the $300K combined income. I find this post fascinating in a completely voyeuristic way! We are also in the market for a new house and we were figuring we could swing a mortgage for $4500 but am now concerned that others in our HHI consider that a tight squeeze in their monthly outlay.

We have no student loans (and no debt other than our $3200 month mortgage and daycare for 2 kids) but are an "older" couple in our mid-40's. I did have student loans though that I paid until I was 32. While I will save for college, my parents expected me to take out loans and wait tables for college and I will have the same expectations for my kids.

I posted above. We have a HHI of $250K, give or take a bit, and a $5K mortgage. Max out retirement, contribute some to college funds (not planning on fully funding 4 years at a private), 1 in daycare, no student loans or car payments - paid off both early, and have 6 months of living expenses in the bank. We have plenty to live on - house cleaners every other week, occasional meals out, new clothes, do a fairly big house project each year (about $10K), and go on vacations totalling at least $5K each year, if not more. Our goal is to enjoy living life now, while still saving.

You should have no problem with such a mortgage at a $300K HHI. Seriously.

What's your credit card bill each month? How much do you contribute to charity monthly? How much is your daycare payment?

why do you care what they contribute towards charity?

I am the poster above with the $250K HHI and $5K monthly mortgage. We have no credit card debt - have always paid it off in full each month. We contribute about $3 - 4K each year to charity, but do not belong to a church or temple. Our daycare payment is $1500/month.

"why do you care what they contribute to charity?"

Because if they don't contribute regularly, I can see being more comfortable having a $5K mortgage on a $250K gross income. If you're contributing $1,000 a month or more, that usually decreases a family's willingness to take on such a huge mortgage. As would having thousands of dollars in credit card debt.

Anonymous wrote:what would suck is to have a nice house, but be trapped into a high mortgage, so you are too poor or scared to have another child

Or even worse, have a high income but be in an unhappy marriage, or have your high earning spouse unhappy to be trapped in a high paying job. I know families for which these are the situations.

Anonymous wrote:Can we please just all agree to not get into this topic AGAIN???

Why do these people pop up in threads if they don't want them to get started. It is simple, don't read it! Let everybody else ask what they want. Funny how some people always have to be the boss.

Anonymous wrote:DH $250,000 incl. bonus
ME roughly $84,000 (combo of salary plus side business)

Total: $334,000

Own a home in Arlington, have car payments, plus two children in private school. We feel quite pinched economically and are def. on a budget.

I forgot to say that we are 37 and 34

DH $250,000 incl. bonus
ME roughly $84,000 (combo of salary plus side business)

Total: $334,000

Own a home in Arlington, have car payments, plus two children in private school. We feel quite pinched economically and are def. on a budget.

what would suck is to have a nice house, but be trapped into a high mortgage, so you are too poor or scared to have another child

I don't believe I have an obligation to fully fund my children's college education. .

You definitely don't have an obligation to do so. But the way that I think about it is, I am not sure what I would really rather spend money on. I wish our house was bigger and nicer, but we're not even home that much, so I don't think it would be worth investing more money in a place to live.

tough spot. I was there last year. Good luck. Hopefully they gave him some severance, and in that period he can find a suitable replacement job. Once the severance runs out, hopefully you can dip into savings and get some unemployment benefits. Assuming he has decent experience, I think getting a comparable salary shouldn't be impossible.

thanks we have a month pay, we have savings/emergency cash and DH is a very determined and motivtated networker, so I feel pretty good about his prospects of getting a new job within a reasonable (several month) framework. He already has 2 informal interviews/discussions. One of the reasons I married him was that even though he didn't make a lot of money, he is not one to mope about things and get depressed or feel that something is too good for him, unlike my last boyfriend!

That being said, it brings home what many families in this country are facing--and with people who don't have great job prospects.

I also think that reading about all these high income couples has made me a little crazy. I admit that i feel sick/envious of the 250k plus couples, and look critically at us, and then the envy begins and I wonder what my life would be like if we were pulling in 300k plus.....and then I think about what an incredibly small fraction of society this is, and how many families are struggling just to pay for food/heat/etc and I feel ashamed for wishing we were in that higher bracket, with 2 nice cars, and a 4 bedroom house in the fairfax county school district, etc.

the other interesting thing this thread has brought up is how different upbringings can lead to different expectations. I grew up in a 'comfortable' familiy--I never heard big worries about money, my parents paid for private school in high school and funded college--after that I was on my own and it was like, whoa, things cost a lot of money, and I worked hard to cover rent and grad school, etc, but I basically had a lot handed to me. I also went to an ivy league and many of my classmates are pulling in a lot of money. DH, on the other hand, grew up poor, money was always an issue, and he has worked his way through everything--college, and after. So for him. our income was a real achievement--to have enough money to have a house, put food on the table, occasionally take a trip (nowhere fancy, but out to the west coast to visit family, etc). Whereas for me I had to adjust my expectations.

At the end of the day, however, I realize that we're happy. I'd like more money so I could go parttime and have another child, but on the other hand, our marrige is solid, we are not completely in debt, and we are lucky to have what we do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of the first posters with the $300K combined income. I find this post fascinating in a completely voyeuristic way! We are also in the market for a new house and we were figuring we could swing a mortgage for $4500 but am now concerned that others in our HHI consider that a tight squeeze in their monthly outlay.

We have no student loans (and no debt other than our $3200 month mortgage and daycare for 2 kids) but are an "older" couple in our mid-40's. I did have student loans though that I paid until I was 32. While I will save for college, my parents expected me to take out loans and wait tables for college and I will have the same expectations for my kids.

I posted above. We have a HHI of $250K, give or take a bit, and a $5K mortgage. Max out retirement, contribute some to college funds (not planning on fully funding 4 years at a private), 1 in daycare, no student loans or car payments - paid off both early, and have 6 months of living expenses in the bank. We have plenty to live on - house cleaners every other week, occasional meals out, new clothes, do a fairly big house project each year (about $10K), and go on vacations totalling at least $5K each year, if not more. Our goal is to enjoy living life now, while still saving.

You should have no problem with such a mortgage at a $300K HHI. Seriously.

What's your credit card bill each month? How much do you contribute to charity monthly? How much is your daycare payment?

why do you care what they contribute towards charity?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was one of the first posters with the $300K combined income. I find this post fascinating in a completely voyeuristic way! We are also in the market for a new house and we were figuring we could swing a mortgage for $4500 but am now concerned that others in our HHI consider that a tight squeeze in their monthly outlay.

We have no student loans (and no debt other than our $3200 month mortgage and daycare for 2 kids) but are an "older" couple in our mid-40's. I did have student loans though that I paid until I was 32. While I will save for college, my parents expected me to take out loans and wait tables for college and I will have the same expectations for my kids.

I posted above. We have a HHI of $250K, give or take a bit, and a $5K mortgage. Max out retirement, contribute some to college funds (not planning on fully funding 4 years at a private), 1 in daycare, no student loans or car payments - paid off both early, and have 6 months of living expenses in the bank. We have plenty to live on - house cleaners every other week, occasional meals out, new clothes, do a fairly big house project each year (about $10K), and go on vacations totalling at least $5K each year, if not more. Our goal is to enjoy living life now, while still saving.

You should have no problem with such a mortgage at a $300K HHI. Seriously.

What's your credit card bill each month? How much do you contribute to charity monthly? How much is your daycare payment?

Anonymous wrote:HHI yesterday: 179 K

HHI today: 77 k.

DH just lost his job. Late 40s and in a shrinking industry. mortgage plus daycare plus expenses for DC1 is 5000/month. argh!

tough spot. I was there last year. Good luck. Hopefully they gave him some severance, and in that period he can find a suitable replacement job. Once the severance runs out, hopefully you can dip into savings and get some unemployment benefits. Assuming he has decent experience, I think getting a comparable salary shouldn't be impossible.

HHI yesterday: 179 K

HHI today: 77 k.

DH just lost his job. Late 40s and in a shrinking industry. mortgage plus daycare plus expenses for DC1 is 5000/month. argh!