...arrogant...

I didn't say you were breaching etiquette. I said you sounded arogant.

"Why the big word? Something arrogant about that... "

The usual alternative seemed, well, frightfully common.

There I go breaching etiquette in front of all you plutocra ... er, advocates of "independent" education.

Anonymous wrote:Now, let me make sure I follow this properly....

On the Private/"Independent" Schools forum, the parent of a Beauvoir (tuition: $26k per annum) student inquires about etiquette lessons for the lad, and it sets off a micturation contest about the evils of "exclusion"?

Why the big word? Something arrogant about that...

We did cotillion briefly. I'm all in favor of dance and etiquette classes, but I found that the director put on an air of superiority and stressed form over substance. That was not what I wanted for my son, who is at Sidwell.

The invites are meaningless. They are just trying to fill spots. It is a business and like everything else these days, it is struggling.

Now, let me make sure I follow this properly....

On the Private/"Independent" Schools forum, the parent of a Beauvoir (tuition: $26k per annum) student inquires about etiquette lessons for the lad, and it sets off a micturation contest about the evils of "exclusion"?

I disagree. I can't get over how all of these things are coming BACK. If anything, more and more of archaic rituals from another generation are being brought out of the cellar and sold to an anxious flock of monied Uberparents. The country club has never been more fashionable.

All anachronisms eventually die, as will cotillion. Fine for Scarlet O'Hara, maybe not so relevant in the 21st century.

Another Beauvoir family here. We received an invitation in Spring for the Fall season. We just received another invitation in the mail the other day. Maybe the fact that they sent out 2 invitations is what prompted the PP to think they may be working hard to fill slots (the season, after all, begins in 2 weeks).

Anonymous wrote:We just got another invitation. We are a Beauvoir family. I wonder if they are now struggling to fill the rosters.

What do you mean?

We just got another invitation. We are a Beauvoir family. I wonder if they are now struggling to fill the rosters.

Don't tell Mrs. Simpson or Capital Cotillion, but you don't have to follow the classes all the way through for your child to get a little bit of benefit from it. Yes, my kids are in private school, and yes, some busybody mom put up names of every boy in the grade- but I emphasize all the boys, African-American, Jewish, etc. And yes, they all received invitations. I've seen the inside of that place (albeit for the younger kids' classes) and it is really just a mob scene of kids playing dress-up. It's pretty harmless. Drop them off, pick them up. I admit that chaperoning was a little scary (try shaking hands with 200 10 year olds) but these are perfectly ordinary kids. I also bet they'll accept virtually any boy that's interested because by 6th or 7th grade almost all have dropped out. The girls continue to enjoy getting dressed up. I admit the concept is nauseating but I could have used a few lessons in being a graceful dancer and a little less awkward dancing with the opposite sex. And yes, I do know some public school kids there. I don't think they could physically fit any more kids into the ballroom than they do under the current invite-only structure. I agree with some other posters- if you want an invitation, ask someone to recommend you. We certinly didn't have a pedigree to list on the application form.

So please, enough holier-than-thou outrage. Don't do it if you don't want to. You won't be missing much, and it won't affect what college your child gets into. As for one kid who doesn't go in a class (which I find hard to believe) - he should say "my parents thought it was stupid." Chances are, his friends will tell him he's lucky to have such great parents.

If you find these invitations so disgusting, then just ignore them. No one is forcing you to do anything. For the families who think cotillions are a good idea, let them parent their own children. Its really very simple. Clearly Capital Cotillion is open to anyone, including public school students. Having had much experience with Mrs. Simpson's, I can say that as long as you know someone who has a child who attends, you should not have trouble getting in. However, Mrs. Simpson will not be opening her doors to everyone in the near future. It is a fact, and get used to it. The reason she does not have a website is because she is very old fashioned, and I will bet you that there is no computer in her house. She and her husband run the cotillion, along with two dance instructors. She is from a time when email did not exist, and prefers personal calls to impersonal web exchanges.

Perhaps Marge Simpson should have her own school and we could send the elite to classes with her so they could learn to loosen up a bit.

Thank you, ladies. Now let's see if Mrs. Simpson follows through as well.