Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who is supposed to clean after the stay (laundry, dishes, tidying) and pay for the utilities? I cannot imagine traveling out of town to clean a vacation home after someone stayed there for free. If you rent it out, sure, then those things are already taken care of and you could offer a subsidized rate.

It’s not just the cleaning, it’s using up supplies like paper towels, tp and bottled water without replacing them, or using pantry items and eating snacks, it’s leaving dirty towels and bed linens or even clean linens but expecting the owner to remake the beds, it’s keeping the A/C at 68 or the heat at 72 because the borrower doesn’t get the bill, it’s leaving the pool heater on for a week straight because again, they don’t get the bill . . .

We have a second home that we are generous with with family and friends and literally every single thing that you have just described has happened (except the heated pool; our pool isn't heated) and guess what? WE DON'T CARE. In fact, we typically tell folks not to wash the towels and sheets and just do it ourselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND WE'RE NICE.

The other solution is to just rent second homes and avoid this whole situation entirely. There are so many awesome home rentals now. Who needs to clean up after entitled family members?

Some of us have family and friends we like and we can afford to host and entertain without worry about “cleaning up” or affording the maintenance that we would be paying anyway.

That's exactly right. We don't ALL come from dysfunctional families.

We very much enjoy opening our second home to family and friends. It's not a big deal to throw a few towels and sheets in the wash afterwards, have our nice cleaning lady come in, or have Amazon deliver bulk supplies of paper towels and toilet paper.

And you wanna hear something that will REALLY blow your mind? We're DOG FRIENDLY! We don't care at all!!

Fine, but some of us don't like hosting family - we’re particular about how we take care of our property, so asking is rude. If someone offers, fine. But don't ask.

I would treat it more as a "rental" and let each in law (BIL, siblings, mil fil, use it two weeks per year when you won't be there and have some rules- like replace anything you use up and clean before you leave. I wouldn't charge them unless they start running up larger bills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who is supposed to clean after the stay (laundry, dishes, tidying) and pay for the utilities? I cannot imagine traveling out of town to clean a vacation home after someone stayed there for free. If you rent it out, sure, then those things are already taken care of and you could offer a subsidized rate.

It’s not just the cleaning, it’s using up supplies like paper towels, tp and bottled water without replacing them, or using pantry items and eating snacks, it’s leaving dirty towels and bed linens or even clean linens but expecting the owner to remake the beds, it’s keeping the A/C at 68 or the heat at 72 because the borrower doesn’t get the bill, it’s leaving the pool heater on for a week straight because again, they don’t get the bill . . .

We have a second home that we are generous with with family and friends and literally every single thing that you have just described has happened (except the heated pool; our pool isn't heated) and guess what? WE DON'T CARE. In fact, we typically tell folks not to wash the towels and sheets and just do it ourselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND WE'RE NICE.

The other solution is to just rent second homes and avoid this whole situation entirely. There are so many awesome home rentals now. Who needs to clean up after entitled family members?

Some of us have family and friends we like and we can afford to host and entertain without worry about “cleaning up” or affording the maintenance that we would be paying anyway.

That's exactly right. We don't ALL come from dysfunctional families.

We very much enjoy opening our second home to family and friends. It's not a big deal to throw a few towels and sheets in the wash afterwards, have our nice cleaning lady come in, or have Amazon deliver bulk supplies of paper towels and toilet paper.

And you wanna hear something that will REALLY blow your mind? We're DOG FRIENDLY! We don't care at all!!

I’m generally a very nice person, but I wouldn’t allow this. I wouldn’t let any of my six younger siblings, their spouses, or kids vacation freely at my beach house, so why would I let a brother-in-law? It’s simply not their property, and I wouldn’t ask that of someone else, so they shouldn’t be asking me.

We intentionally chose a second home pretty far away because we love the spot and it feels like a get-away in another world to us. Thinking back, this has probably reduced the number of family members asking to use the house when we're not there, so we don't encounter the numbers of requests that others do.

I'm generally a pretty sharing person. I love my extended family and we get along well, and I have a great core group of friends. That said, it wouldn't like it if someone asked to use the house for their own vacation while we're not there unless we had invited them to. To me, asking directly feels like overstepping. If a friend or family member mentions wanting to visit the area or something similar, I've pretty much always offered the house, letting them know to reach out and we can arrange dates if they'd like at any time. But there have been a few exceptions, including a friend I suspected of cheating on her DH and wanting a private getaway (no shade but didn't want to sign up to be part of that) and my sister who has a lifelong habit of going though other people's closets and drawers. I've actually never had a friend or relative ask directly to use the house without my (or my DH) having offered, but absent an unusual reason (am thinking unpredictable things like extended family wedding happening in the same locale and hotels booked up, or friend needing space from spouse in bad situation), I wouldn't be crazy about the idea. As context, we had friends/family stay at the house about 6 weeks over the past year when we're not there. We cover the cost others have mentioned (keeping pool open later in season, cleaning and higher utilities).

I just really don't like the idea of being explicitly called upon to make judgements about whether I'd want someone to have access to a home of mine. It would be as though a friends and family members asked to stay in your house in DC to visit the capitol while you and your family were on vacation. With some people, it may be fine, but with others, no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who is supposed to clean after the stay (laundry, dishes, tidying) and pay for the utilities? I cannot imagine traveling out of town to clean a vacation home after someone stayed there for free. If you rent it out, sure, then those things are already taken care of and you could offer a subsidized rate.

It’s not just the cleaning, it’s using up supplies like paper towels, tp and bottled water without replacing them, or using pantry items and eating snacks, it’s leaving dirty towels and bed linens or even clean linens but expecting the owner to remake the beds, it’s keeping the A/C at 68 or the heat at 72 because the borrower doesn’t get the bill, it’s leaving the pool heater on for a week straight because again, they don’t get the bill . . .

We have a second home that we are generous with with family and friends and literally every single thing that you have just described has happened (except the heated pool; our pool isn't heated) and guess what? WE DON'T CARE. In fact, we typically tell folks not to wash the towels and sheets and just do it ourselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND WE'RE NICE.

The other solution is to just rent second homes and avoid this whole situation entirely. There are so many awesome home rentals now. Who needs to clean up after entitled family members?

Some of us have family and friends we like and we can afford to host and entertain without worry about “cleaning up” or affording the maintenance that we would be paying anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s your husband’s brother. I would let my brother or sister or mother use my vacation home. I would do the same for my husband‘s family, which is also my family.

Hell no. My husbands family is not my family and I would not allow them into my home.

But your husband can let HIS family into HIS home. Selfish twit.

Why? He won’t either. They do not get to stay in our house. Why that bother you so much? Its my house and I choose who enters and exists.

Why is just your choice? I doubt you own 1 home.

Because I’m the mom…why else? If they want to pay, then maybe they can stay, but otherwise no. They aren’t entitled to staying in my house. I’d let my parents live there for free if they wanted to, but I do not need to treat inlaws that same way. You must be a annoying boy mom..😢😢

Dad has no say? I have a boy and a girl, but thanks for protecting.

Why do you even feel entitled to stay in someone’s else’s house for free?

A brother asking does not equal entitlement. Not that you have a 2nd home but for people they do they just say no or they can charge a fee since you're hung up on "free". That's what a lot of people do. I let friends and family stay in my place for free and didn't charge for cleaning, pool usage, or utilities. I even stocked the fridge. People like you are weird.

You seem overly upset about people choosing not to let an entitled “brother” into their home. Expecting that kind of access is entitlement, especially since he’s a grown adult, and should be able to get his own place.

Do you not realize you’re talking to multiple people?

No, I would not allow it. BIL asking is very rude and anti-social.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who is supposed to clean after the stay (laundry, dishes, tidying) and pay for the utilities? I cannot imagine traveling out of town to clean a vacation home after someone stayed there for free. If you rent it out, sure, then those things are already taken care of and you could offer a subsidized rate.

It’s not just the cleaning, it’s using up supplies like paper towels, tp and bottled water without replacing them, or using pantry items and eating snacks, it’s leaving dirty towels and bed linens or even clean linens but expecting the owner to remake the beds, it’s keeping the A/C at 68 or the heat at 72 because the borrower doesn’t get the bill, it’s leaving the pool heater on for a week straight because again, they don’t get the bill . . .

We have a second home that we are generous with with family and friends and literally every single thing that you have just described has happened (except the heated pool; our pool isn't heated) and guess what? WE DON'T CARE. In fact, we typically tell folks not to wash the towels and sheets and just do it ourselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND WE'RE NICE.

The other solution is to just rent second homes and avoid this whole situation entirely. There are so many awesome home rentals now. Who needs to clean up after entitled family members?

Anonymous wrote:

Who is supposed to clean after the stay (laundry, dishes, tidying) and pay for the utilities? I cannot imagine traveling out of town to clean a vacation home after someone stayed there for free. If you rent it out, sure, then those things are already taken care of and you could offer a subsidized rate.

It’s not just the cleaning, it’s using up supplies like paper towels, tp and bottled water without replacing them, or using pantry items and eating snacks, it’s leaving dirty towels and bed linens or even clean linens but expecting the owner to remake the beds, it’s keeping the A/C at 68 or the heat at 72 because the borrower doesn’t get the bill, it’s leaving the pool heater on for a week straight because again, they don’t get the bill . . .

We have a second home that we are generous with with family and friends and literally every single thing that you have just described has happened (except the heated pool; our pool isn't heated) and guess what? WE DON'T CARE. In fact, we typically tell folks not to wash the towels and sheets and just do it ourselves. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY AND WE'RE NICE.

Anonymous wrote:Are all of you really this miserable in real life?

Lol, also my question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s your husband’s brother. I would let my brother or sister or mother use my vacation home. I would do the same for my husband‘s family, which is also my family.

Hell no. My husbands family is not my family and I would not allow them into my home.

But your husband can let HIS family into HIS home. Selfish twit.

Why? He won’t either. They do not get to stay in our house. Why that bother you so much? Its my house and I choose who enters and exists.

Why is just your choice? I doubt you own 1 home.

Because I’m the mom…why else? If they want to pay, then maybe they can stay, but otherwise no. They aren’t entitled to staying in my house. I’d let my parents live there for free if they wanted to, but I do not need to treat inlaws that same way. You must be a annoying boy mom..😢😢

Dad has no say? I have a boy and a girl, but thanks for protecting.

Why do you even feel entitled to stay in someone’s else’s house for free?

A brother asking does not equal entitlement. Not that you have a 2nd home but for people they do they just say no or they can charge a fee since you're hung up on "free". That's what a lot of people do. I let friends and family stay in my place for free and didn't charge for cleaning, pool usage, or utilities. I even stocked the fridge. People like you are weird.

You seem overly upset about people choosing not to let an entitled “brother” into their home. Expecting that kind of access is entitlement, especially since he’s a grown adult, and should be able to get his own place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s your husband’s brother. I would let my brother or sister or mother use my vacation home. I would do the same for my husband‘s family, which is also my family.

Hell no. My husbands family is not my family and I would not allow them into my home.

But your husband can let HIS family into HIS home. Selfish twit.

Why? He won’t either. They do not get to stay in our house. Why that bother you so much? Its my house and I choose who enters and exists.

Why is just your choice? I doubt you own 1 home.

Because I’m the mom…why else? If they want to pay, then maybe they can stay, but otherwise no. They aren’t entitled to staying in my house. I’d let my parents live there for free if they wanted to, but I do not need to treat inlaws that same way. You must be a annoying boy mom..😢😢

Dad has no say? I have a boy and a girl, but thanks for protecting.

Why do you even feel entitled to stay in someone’s else’s house for free?

A brother asking does not equal entitlement. Not that you have a 2nd home but for people they do they just say no or they can charge a fee since you're hung up on "free". That's what a lot of people do. I let friends and family stay in my place for free and didn't charge for cleaning, pool usage, or utilities. I even stocked the fridge. People like you are weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s your husband’s brother. I would let my brother or sister or mother use my vacation home. I would do the same for my husband‘s family, which is also my family.

Hell no. My husbands family is not my family and I would not allow them into my home.

But your husband can let HIS family into HIS home. Selfish twit.

Why? He won’t either. They do not get to stay in our house. Why that bother you so much? Its my house and I choose who enters and exists.

Why is just your choice? I doubt you own 1 home.

Because I’m the mom…why else? If they want to pay, then maybe they can stay, but otherwise no. They aren’t entitled to staying in my house. I’d let my parents live there for free if they wanted to, but I do not need to treat inlaws that same way. You must be a annoying boy mom..😢😢

Dad has no say? I have a boy and a girl, but thanks for protecting.

Why do you even feel entitled to stay in someone’s else’s house for free?

Projecting ^^