Anonymous
02/23/2026 18:07
Subject: Re:Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
So you are 5'6", a biker, covered in tattoos, not conventionally handsome, not really open to kids even though your dating age range for women are child bearing years, not really open to blondes, not really open to black women....
You have too many dings against you to be this picky.
Expand your dating age range to consider women in their 50s who have adult kids. And you are in no position to find blondes unattractive. Look at them a little longer, say a chant, and change your mind. You cannot afford to eliminate any woman from the dating pool because there are too many strikes against you.
You don't want emotions, you don't want children, and you want as little time together as possible. Women usually go for taller, more conventionally attractive guys for these kinds of relationships. They tend to go for guys like you when they are very loving and very kind and parent material.
Stop cos playing Idris Elba or Jason Maoma when you look like Chris Rock with tattoos. You have to work harder for tussy.
Another option: I have a friend who is similar in looks to you without tattoos and without money. He has been married 4 times -- he marries foreign women, and they last 3-4 years. Then he marries another. The women are way more attractive than he is, and there is usually no drama when they divorce. No kids though. He is very hapoy with his life. So perhaps get a vasectomy and become a passport bro.
You have too many dings against you to be this picky.
Expand your dating age range to consider women in their 50s who have adult kids. And you are in no position to find blondes unattractive. Look at them a little longer, say a chant, and change your mind. You cannot afford to eliminate any woman from the dating pool because there are too many strikes against you.
You don't want emotions, you don't want children, and you want as little time together as possible. Women usually go for taller, more conventionally attractive guys for these kinds of relationships. They tend to go for guys like you when they are very loving and very kind and parent material.
Stop cos playing Idris Elba or Jason Maoma when you look like Chris Rock with tattoos. You have to work harder for tussy.
Another option: I have a friend who is similar in looks to you without tattoos and without money. He has been married 4 times -- he marries foreign women, and they last 3-4 years. Then he marries another. The women are way more attractive than he is, and there is usually no drama when they divorce. No kids though. He is very hapoy with his life. So perhaps get a vasectomy and become a passport bro.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:12
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
It MUST be personality. Very few people are SO ugly that somebody somewhere can't love them. Unless their personality sucks, too. In which case, actually, you'll probably still find your Eva Braun. Look at Trump. He is 100% repulsive in personality and looks. And yet ... married 3 times?
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:10
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
OP, your height is more of a problem for OLD with ppl's filters than it would be IRL as many women are shorter than you still. You need to get out there doing activities where you can meet people - volunteering, alumni events, museum after hours, gym classes whatever you're interested in.
I think the tattoos are going to be more of a "niche" appeal than anything about your natural looks when you're talking about a 40+ group.
I think the tattoos are going to be more of a "niche" appeal than anything about your natural looks when you're talking about a 40+ group.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:07
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:If a guy suggested that for a first date I'd assume he's poor, lazy, or is not really interested and invested and dating tons of women at once to screen them quickly. Would be a no.
I'm with you! This one guy I went on a first date with offered take out soup at Union Market. 10 years later, he's still single...
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:04
Subject: Re:Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
As far as the actual dates themselves, I'm not flashy on them or anything. Hard to be flashy in a Prius in any case. Just a typical grabbing a drink or coffee for the first date or going for a walk and getting some ice cream if the weather is nice. If they progress then we'll do dinner or go check out some museums or go to an outdoor interactive light show or a variety of things along those lines. Art gallery openings are another good one that I enjoy and sometimes I'm fortunate enough to pick up some new art that I like.
I'm old too, but I have to eat anyway! I don't have time or interest walking around and talking. That's for someone I actually like and am invested in.
Your dates sounds really low effort. If that's what you like, that's fine but it signals to women that your tats and bmx hobbies are the priority for both time and money. For a first date you should take them to a trendy restaurant and then maybe dancing or something fun. And don't buy any art while you're on a date unless it's for your date.
This. Walk around and get ice cream? This is where my middle school BF might think of as a date. If you really are an attorney you should have enough money to take a woman out to a nice dinner.
I frankly like the walk around and get ice cream thing. Flexible, outside, easy to talk - not f2f! - easy to tease - Maybe I'm too old, but a first date should be low pressure.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:04
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
If a guy suggested that for a first date I'd assume he's poor, lazy, or is not really interested and invested and dating tons of women at once to screen them quickly. Would be a no.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 15:01
Subject: Re:Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
As far as the actual dates themselves, I'm not flashy on them or anything. Hard to be flashy in a Prius in any case. Just a typical grabbing a drink or coffee for the first date or going for a walk and getting some ice cream if the weather is nice. If they progress then we'll do dinner or go check out some museums or go to an outdoor interactive light show or a variety of things along those lines. Art gallery openings are another good one that I enjoy and sometimes I'm fortunate enough to pick up some new art that I like.
Your dates sounds really low effort. If that's what you like, that's fine but it signals to women that your tats and bmx hobbies are the priority for both time and money. For a first date you should take them to a trendy restaurant and then maybe dancing or something fun. And don't buy any art while you're on a date unless it's for your date.
This. Walk around and get ice cream? This is where my middle school BF might think of as a date. If you really are an attorney you should have enough money to take a woman out to a nice dinner.
I frankly like the walk around and get ice cream thing. Flexible, outside, easy to talk - not f2f! - easy to tease - Maybe I'm too old, but a first date should be low pressure.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 14:57
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
I don't think it's a height thing. That does make it more challenging to get dates but the two shortest guys I know don't seem to have any problems dating and have really pretty GFs. One is younger than you and the other older. Also professional guys who are also not white in the DMV.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 14:53
Subject: Re:Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
As far as the actual dates themselves, I'm not flashy on them or anything. Hard to be flashy in a Prius in any case. Just a typical grabbing a drink or coffee for the first date or going for a walk and getting some ice cream if the weather is nice. If they progress then we'll do dinner or go check out some museums or go to an outdoor interactive light show or a variety of things along those lines. Art gallery openings are another good one that I enjoy and sometimes I'm fortunate enough to pick up some new art that I like.
Your dates sounds really low effort. If that's what you like, that's fine but it signals to women that your tats and bmx hobbies are the priority for both time and money. For a first date you should take them to a trendy restaurant and then maybe dancing or something fun. And don't buy any art while you're on a date unless it's for your date.
This. Walk around and get ice cream? This is where my middle school BF might think of as a date. If you really are an attorney you should have enough money to take a woman out to a nice dinner.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 12:10
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tattoos are definitely a turnoff for the majority of women. Especially a lot of them.
+1
I have to agree 1000% w/this.
Tattoos are so not attractive on men, especially A LOT of tattoos.
I especially hate those arm tattoo “sleeves.” 🤮
I’m a guy with zero tattoos but this is strange to read. It seems like most young women like men with tattoos since it makes you look dangerous and masculine… however men do not like women with tattoos for this same reason.
Unfortunately too many young women these days are tatting up without realizing most guys think they look terrible on a woman’s body
They don't care what men think about their tattoos. My youngest sister and all her friends are white collar professionals with lots of tats (in places they can hide under clothes). They all talk about how many complaints they get from dates and boyfriends, yet they're getting more. I love it. We've finally arrived at the promised land of women whose lives aren't controlled by what some mouth breathing neckbeard thinks.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 11:34
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Let’s say I wanted to meet a tallish lawyer with tattoos where would I find a guy like that in the wild on a Sunday afternoon? Just curious.
You dont have to answer that but 👀
What kind of lawyer? Corporate lawyer? You can find him in his home office, probably.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 11:32
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Let’s say I wanted to meet a tallish lawyer with tattoos where would I find a guy like that in the wild on a Sunday afternoon? Just curious.
You dont have to answer that but 👀
You dont have to answer that but 👀
Anonymous
02/23/2026 11:11
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Guys she is only 5'6??? I am 5'11 and a 5'6 woman is not gall at all.
Op is a man
Oops. That's rough then. But anyways it comes mes down to confidence. I'm 5'11 not tall at all and I don't think a 6 footer has a massive advantage over me.
You are not short; in fact, you are taller than average.
There is a huge difference between 5'6" (below average) and 5'11 (above average).
Anonymous
02/23/2026 09:26
Subject: Re:Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:
As far as the actual dates themselves, I'm not flashy on them or anything. Hard to be flashy in a Prius in any case. Just a typical grabbing a drink or coffee for the first date or going for a walk and getting some ice cream if the weather is nice. If they progress then we'll do dinner or go check out some museums or go to an outdoor interactive light show or a variety of things along those lines. Art gallery openings are another good one that I enjoy and sometimes I'm fortunate enough to pick up some new art that I like.
Your dates sounds really low effort. If that's what you like, that's fine but it signals to women that your tats and bmx hobbies are the priority for both time and money. For a first date you should take them to a trendy restaurant and then maybe dancing or something fun. And don't buy any art while you're on a date unless it's for your date.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 09:21
Subject: Tips for dating with "niche looks" in my 40s
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Guys she is only 5'6??? I am 5'11 and a 5'6 woman is not gall at all.
Op is a man
Oops. That's rough then. But anyways it comes mes down to confidence. I'm 5'11 not tall at all and I don't think a 6 footer has a massive advantage over me.
Ridiculous! 5-11 is obviously taller than the average, and 6 feet is only an inch taller so of course that's not a huge advantage