My parents subsidized my brother with the SAH wife. while my sister and I worked our asses off she went to yoga and got her hair done - and then my parents were incredibly generous to his family because it wasn’t fair they couldn’t afford things. Like have you ever heard of working to get things you can’t afford? It involves waking up early and often doing things you don’t enjoy. I just can’t with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Noble professions”. Lol. In most circles that is code for “avoiding real life.”

So teachers are avoiding real life? Home health care providers are avoiding real life? Frankly, I think they're much more clued in to real life than someone who sits in an office sending emails all day.

Have you seen the high school and college grades of public school teachers? Most are C students, aren’t engaged teachers at all, so the curricula and expectations keep getting dumbed down. Use of tech is also a big bad “teaching” crutch.

I’d gladly pay up for a smart educated, real world experience teacher in their 40s than the 20-something messes we left.

Data show teachers have little long-term impacts on educational outcomes. For the vast majority, their work isn't valuable. The sad truth is it doesn't matter who teaches midwits.

My parents are well off. Of the three siblings, two of us are well compensated and in two income households. Youngest sibling isn't well
off - single income with a spouse on disability. Well-off siblings have more expenses, but also work a LOT harder than youngest sibling, and our spouses work harder than the youngest sibling's spouse (even before the disability).

I have no problem when my parents help my younger sibling with living expenses (household repairs, unexpected bills, etc), and have encouraged them to do so.

But a family trip/vacation is different. If my parents did what OP did, and TOLD me, I'd be annoyed and hurt. And like OP's daughter - I probably wouldn't go.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, if you can afford $3k, you can afford 4.5k. It is not nice to favor some children over others. Is this what you plan to do in your will as well?

I would apologize and tell her you want to pay for her too. And so that in the future as well - all or nothing.

Pp here. Sidebar, this is why I never ever tell any family how much I make. And we live simply, don’t spend on things like mansion or fancy cars. Family would absolutely have expectations based on that.

Sorry, if you can afford $3k, you can afford 4.5k. It is not nice to favor some children over others. Is this what you plan to do in your will as well?

I would apologize and tell her you want to pay for her too. And so that in the future as well - all or nothing.

Yes it’s wrong.

Split things equally while alive and upon death.

My parents never paid 100% of non necessities.
They’d pay 50%, or maybe more if we were upgrading things as teens (basketball shoes or a coat). But we needed to pay our 20-50% to have skin in the game and go through a decision-making process on the buy. Also to learn the value of a dollar. An after tax dollar in fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three 20 something kids and two of them work low paying jobs while one is more established and successful. I think she makes 250k at 29. We are having a family reunion in another continent and I told her that I’ll be paying for her siblings (25 and 27) flights (because they wouldn’t be able to afford it otherwise) but want her to pay for her own ticket because she can easily afford it. Well, yesterday we were discussing the trip and my daughter said she is deciding not to go because she’s busy with work. Usually she always travels with us so I’m not sure if she’s angry that I asked her to pay for her own airfare. It would cost around $1500. Was I wrong to do this?

You are wrong if you can afford to pay for all their tickets. Not just some people’s. $1500 flight is $3000 pretax gross salary in big cities.

Don’t start this precedent of rewarding low earners and unambiguous people. Or perhaps you already ingrained that and now you see the results of it.

+1
Or pay half or $1000 each for each of their tickets. Treating them equally, but not totally subsidizing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitudes on here seem to bear out the aphorism "to those that have, more is given."

If you really want to be fair, give each child some money based on their relative salaries. So if you give your high earning child $200 towards the ticket, and the other children make 1/5 of what she makes, then give them each $1,000. Then each will have what they need. It's dumb to give someone rich the same amount as someone who is poor. The poor need it more. And as has been pointed out many times, poor doesn't mean lazy. Grad school, lower paying but noble professions, etc.

If you state that made-up definition of fair you incentivize poor decisions and behavior. You know that. You create dependency too.

I give up. This board is completely in thrall to the gods of capitalism. Apparently whoever makes the most money is the best person.

Welfare for all!
Same pay for all!
Everyone is the same!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Noble professions”. Lol. In most circles that is code for “avoiding real life.”

So teachers are avoiding real life? Home health care providers are avoiding real life? Frankly, I think they're much more clued in to real life than someone who sits in an office sending emails all day.

Have you seen the high school and college grades of public school teachers? Most are C students, aren’t engaged teachers at all, so the curricula and expectations keep getting dumbed down. Use of tech is also a big bad “teaching” crutch.

I’d gladly pay up for a smart educated, real world experience teacher in their 40s than the 20-something messes we left.

Yes it’s wrong

At the age 20+, my sister and I were helping one another. Who the heck needs parents meddling. We had moved abroad away from them.
I ended up helping my parents and my sister ended up helping me.
I'm the lower earner for several reasons. Not working hard enough is not one of the reason though.
OP, just stay out if there's a chance to make things worse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitudes on here seem to bear out the aphorism "to those that have, more is given."

If you really want to be fair, give each child some money based on their relative salaries. So if you give your high earning child $200 towards the ticket, and the other children make 1/5 of what she makes, then give them each $1,000. Then each will have what they need. It's dumb to give someone rich the same amount as someone who is poor. The poor need it more. And as has been pointed out many times, poor doesn't mean lazy. Grad school, lower paying but noble professions, etc.

If you state that made-up definition of fair you incentivize poor decisions and behavior. You know that. You create dependency too.

I give up. This board is completely in thrall to the gods of capitalism. Apparently whoever makes the most money is the best person.

Anonymous wrote:“Noble professions”. Lol. In most circles that is code for “avoiding real life.”

So teachers are avoiding real life? Home health care providers are avoiding real life? Frankly, I think they're much more clued in to real life than someone who sits in an office sending emails all day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The attitudes on here seem to bear out the aphorism "to those that have, more is given."

If you really want to be fair, give each child some money based on their relative salaries. So if you give your high earning child $200 towards the ticket, and the other children make 1/5 of what she makes, then give them each $1,000. Then each will have what they need. It's dumb to give someone rich the same amount as someone who is poor. The poor need it more. And as has been pointed out many times, poor doesn't mean lazy. Grad school, lower paying but noble professions, etc.

Wrong.

Slackers love that progressive BS you listed above.

Get paid for not doing much. Oooh, and a formula!! Def don’t make over $42k gross or you loose your welfare benies too! Plus mommy allowance. Poor poor me. My low pressure check the box job.

Who hurt you?