Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 12:16     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?


Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

To be fair, UCSD is relatively easy to get into for a normal high stats kid with decent ECs and essays.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:57     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?


Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.


Your kids were not smart enough or did not take the hardest courses. Genuine top kids with max rigor and As without tutors, top 1% scores on unprepped PSAT or other normed tests can get in to T20 without a problem, no hooks, no private counselors. All of mine have as well as many of their top few in the class friends at a variety of magnets and privates. One of mine got into multiple T10/ivy no hooks because they were the best student from their school in addition to all the rest.
Parents should not encourage their non-naturally-top 1% or maybe 2% students to go for these top schools. They are not for them. Aim lower.


Stop with your constant messaging of "non-natural top 1%" and go back to wherever you were born. That's not what top schools want. I'm a 2nd-generation Indian American and have plenty of experience with "top schools" (probably much more than you in my family) and this "aim lower" bs you are constantly espousing here. Get a life.

Top schools want interesting and interested students. Self-driven. A B here or there is not a deterrent (and wasn't for my kids).
Get out of your CS/STEM bubble.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:53     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?


Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.


Your kids were not smart enough or did not take the hardest courses. Genuine top kids with max rigor and As without tutors, top 1% scores on unprepped PSAT or other normed tests can get in to T20 without a problem, no hooks, no private counselors. All of mine have as well as many of their top few in the class friends at a variety of magnets and privates. One of mine got into multiple T10/ivy no hooks because they were the best student from their school in addition to all the rest.
Parents should not encourage their non-naturally-top 1% or maybe 2% students to go for these top schools. They are not for them. Aim lower.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:32     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?


If you have smart kids who read a lot and are generally curious, have them go about their way. Encourage good grades to the best of their ability (get tutors if necessary), require involvement in 1 inside of school and 1 outside of school activity - whatever they choose - it's their choice, and encourage active relationships with the teacher (including active participation).

In Jan of junior year, write out all activities, favorite teachers, favorite hobbies, and apply to some summer programs. Work on essays over the summer and make sure at least 3-4 activities align with the major (you don't pick the major in advance - look at your lists of activities, classes, and teachers to see where the natural and authentic alignment exists), then make a list of schools. Include 10 or so reach schools in RD if your kid is ambitious and aiming for T20.

Followed this for 2 kids so far.
Ivy (pt job forever for this one)
and
T10.

Absolutely no "curation". Allowed their natural interests to come through. And their supplemental essays were filled with intellectual curiosity because they actually cared/lived those interests.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:31     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?


Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.

Well WashU is a top 20! Did they get a refund from that former Stanford AO? Are they Asian applying to CS by any chance?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:28     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly the only counselors who can truly move the needle are the ones who are planning things from at least grade 9 on. If you simply hire someone when your kid is a junior or senior then it's too late.

But the kid also has to be doing exceptionally well in school. I would imagine that most families who have money for this type of counseling are private school kids and it's not easy to do well at many top privates. In our experience at a Big3 school, the unhooked Ivy admits (aside from Cornell) are all from the top of the class. I had one of these kids and they got into an Ivy with their own random assortment of extracurriculars and our haphazard attempt at guiding a narrative in the 11th hour. So no 4-5 years of packaging is needed if the grades are there. And no packaging will help if the grades are not there. So honestly, I don't see the point of it.

Maybe it's more helpful in the public realm where there are large classes and many kids with top grades and so it's important for kids to have very built-out narratives to separate them from their academically identical peers.


To this end, can anyone recommend a counselor who can help with long range planning in 9th or 10th grade. Not looking to invest in a four year package but rather someone who can suggest how to be proactive early on in terms of course selection, extracurriculars, etc?


Big tip: 9th grade summer get a paid job that isn't a jr summer camp counselor at your sleep away camp. I know kid is under 16 so it's not easy. But if you a find something - or a full time unpaid job with a title like on a campaign - it will set up getting admitted to "known" summer program 10th grade summer which helps 11 grade summer.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:27     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?


Both were shooting for Stanford and Yale/Harvard. The counselor was a former Stanford AO.

It is more disappointment that after working so hard, both had near perfect GPA's, high test scores, high rigor, EC's, etc. that you could not get into T20. It was insane how much Stanford looms over them. Younger got into UC San Diego, but could not bear to go there as lots of kids from same HS with much lower stats/EC's ended up there and it seemed a let down.

It is heart breaking to see people you love go through this.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 11:24     Subject: Private consultants reality check
OP, I hear you. We've wrestled with this, too, and decided against consultants as we wanted the kids to develop a solid sense of self and pride of accomplishment. In our case, using a consultant and curating a plausible life for their applications I fear would impart the idea that we did not trust or value their decisions, interests or abilities. The cost is too high at a crucial time of parental influence (the high school years before they launch) and the value of self-governance and trust that we give them by allowing them to own the application process will hopefully serve them well over their lifetime.

Every situation is different and we see that private consultants can achieve goals. Parents want the best for their child. It's understandable. However, don't discount the message you send to your child when or how you engage this service. Consider guidance vs. curation.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 10:32     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


You don’t need to spend that kind of money. If they are borderline and test optional students and BC was a reach, I can see spending 10-15k on essays and packaging. But wasteful. Test prep and tutors might have helped more.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 10:01     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.


Pay $200k to get into Boston College??!!

Why did the other not like WashU?
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 08:29     Subject: Private consultants reality check
My sister in bay area paid upwards of $200k for each of her kids for college counseling and I had a first hand view into how much stress both my nieces went through. Every single aspect of their high school experience was micro managed. Oldest got into Washington University spent the first year trying to transfer out but ended up gradating there. The younger one at Boston College and was utterly devastated and took a long time to recover.

We refused to pay that kind of money and we are paying $6k for the essays and guidance. In at UVA, so we are quite happy, but have a few T20 apps in. Fingers crossed.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 01:06     Subject: Private consultants reality check
This is the type of counselor that can actually make a difference: https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/fqo68j/aos_cant_actually_detect_authenticity_or_passion/
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2026 01:06     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither of these accurately describes how I help my clients. The key is in the word consultant. I do not shepherd or write for students. I would love to start in 9th, but if I get them as 10th graders, that's great! Many come to me in 11th. I advise on curriculum, activities, opportunities, timeline and encourage them to stay kids and enjoy high school while doing their best as students, developing themselves, and pushing the boundaries a little. I work with them to find good fits and connect with schools on all levels to maximize their academic efforts in decisions. I contribute research. I help them to develop their writing through discussion and feedback, not through "editing."
I am a small shop. So far this year, my public school students have been admitted to Ivies & top LACs ED and difficult EAs (USC, UVA OOS, UNC OOS).
It doesn't have to be one or the other as the OP suggests.


Can you share who you are or email your info to gg24k2023@gmail.com? I am interested for my rising 9th grader.


Emailed you.

Since solicitation is not allowed on this site, you are clearly a college counselor who has no problem bending the rules.

Technically, the counselor didn't solicit anything.
Anonymous
Post 02/07/2026 22:32     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither of these accurately describes how I help my clients. The key is in the word consultant. I do not shepherd or write for students. I would love to start in 9th, but if I get them as 10th graders, that's great! Many come to me in 11th. I advise on curriculum, activities, opportunities, timeline and encourage them to stay kids and enjoy high school while doing their best as students, developing themselves, and pushing the boundaries a little. I work with them to find good fits and connect with schools on all levels to maximize their academic efforts in decisions. I contribute research. I help them to develop their writing through discussion and feedback, not through "editing."
I am a small shop. So far this year, my public school students have been admitted to Ivies & top LACs ED and difficult EAs (USC, UVA OOS, UNC OOS).
It doesn't have to be one or the other as the OP suggests.


Can you share who you are or email your info to gg24k2023@gmail.com? I am interested for my rising 9th grader.


Emailed you.

Since solicitation is not allowed on this site, you are clearly a college counselor who has no problem bending the rules.
Anonymous
Post 02/07/2026 22:27     Subject: Private consultants reality check
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither of these accurately describes how I help my clients. The key is in the word consultant. I do not shepherd or write for students. I would love to start in 9th, but if I get them as 10th graders, that's great! Many come to me in 11th. I advise on curriculum, activities, opportunities, timeline and encourage them to stay kids and enjoy high school while doing their best as students, developing themselves, and pushing the boundaries a little. I work with them to find good fits and connect with schools on all levels to maximize their academic efforts in decisions. I contribute research. I help them to develop their writing through discussion and feedback, not through "editing."
I am a small shop. So far this year, my public school students have been admitted to Ivies & top LACs ED and difficult EAs (USC, UVA OOS, UNC OOS).
It doesn't have to be one or the other as the OP suggests.


Can you share who you are or email your info to gg24k2023@gmail.com? I am interested for my rising 9th grader.


Emailed you.