Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

There are actually plenty of facilities in this area charging $5-6k per month. Consider that there are virtually no other expenses during this time. You have to avoid large corporate owned facilities and go private.

From a common sense perspective, “memory care” would be the hottest job on the planet if you could just take care of someone else for 200k per year without a college degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

There are actually plenty of facilities in this area charging $5-6k per month. Consider that there are virtually no other expenses during this time. You have to avoid large corporate owned facilities and go private.

From a common sense perspective, “memory care” would be the hottest job on the planet if you could just take care of someone else for 200k per year without a college degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and my parents are mid 70s. I, along with my siblings could someday inherit maybe $15m each. They have funded 529 plans and are generous with Christmas gifts. I don’t think about the inheritance in our planning as I want them to live forever. We are doing fine on our own and that’s the way we want it.

Your reference to multiple siblings means that there is an estate of at least $45m. Yes, it is theoretically possible that it could all be used/stolen/redirected. But isn't is extraordinarily likely that even if 75% of it is spent, 25% will remain? Which gives ~$3m each in inheritance. It'd be silly, in my opinion, to not factor that amount into your planning.

Also, "I don’t think about the inheritance in our planning as I want them to live forever" is insanely stupid. It's just denying reality - they won't live forever. Declining to consider the inheritance because you are very risk averse? Sure, reasonable people can disagree. But basing your financial planning on a fiction because you don't like reality is mind boggling.

Anonymous wrote:We live nicely in DC area with decent HHI to support our lives however I’m cheap and we don’t have new cars or fancy vacations. I know that I will inherit at least $6M at some point. Parents in late 70’s. Would you do things differently like splurge on vacations?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and my parents are mid 70s. I, along with my siblings could someday inherit maybe $15m each. They have funded 529 plans and are generous with Christmas gifts. I don’t think about the inheritance in our planning as I want them to live forever. We are doing fine on our own and that’s the way we want it.

Your reference to multiple siblings means that there is an estate of at least $45m. Yes, it is theoretically possible that it could all be used/stolen/redirected. But isn't is extraordinarily likely that even if 75% of it is spent, 25% will remain? Which gives ~$3m each in inheritance. It'd be silly, in my opinion, to not factor that amount into your planning.

Also, "I don’t think about the inheritance in our planning as I want them to live forever" is insanely stupid. It's just denying reality - they won't live forever. Declining to consider the inheritance because you are very risk averse? Sure, reasonable people can disagree. But basing your financial planning on a fiction because you don't like reality is mind boggling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

There are actually plenty of facilities in this area charging $5-6k per month. Consider that there are virtually no other expenses during this time. You have to avoid large corporate owned facilities and go private.

From a common sense perspective, “memory care” would be the hottest job on the planet if you could just take care of someone else for 200k per year without a college degree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 and my parents are mid 70s. I, along with my siblings could someday inherit maybe $15m each. They have funded 529 plans and are generous with Christmas gifts. I don’t think about the inheritance in our planning as I want them to live forever. We are doing fine on our own and that’s the way we want it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

So you and your siblings spent $800,000 on end of life care? Total nightmare

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

So you and your siblings spent $800,000 on end of life care? Total nightmare

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i supported my parents through the last 25 years of their life; that was mostly 30k a year until the last several years which turned into more like $200k a year with memory care.

there is currently a generational trust in my spouses family but they are likely to live at least another 25 years. i view the actual inheritance to be the fact that we won't have to monetarily support them in old age. the primary lifestyle change we made is that we did decide to have children; i probably would not have done IVF if there had been any danger of needing to support the previous generation for significant years.

they have set up nice 529s for our children, and they buy the plane tickets for us to visit; those are the primary extent of our planning reliance on their money. (though we still contribute what our state allows for deductions to another 529). spouses tax-advantaged retirement funds are a little light for their age, which likely reflects some unconscious reliance on inheritance but their overall portfolio is fine. i'm contributing the max i can to mine including catch-up.

in short, my perspective is that there is no windfall coming, and i live my life accordingly. our newest car is almost 20 years old and that's completely fine. we have a decent UMC life, and i'm delighted to hopefully have decades where they can enjoy their grandchildren.

$200k a year on memory care is criminal and unnecessary. If this were the going rate, then think of how many people would work as memory care providers 24-7. No college education necessary but you live with someone and they pay you $200k a year. The market for this is incredibly small. Many people paying amounts like this are big spenders their entire life, or taken for a wild ride.

The average length of LTC is 2-4 years. During this time, your money should be growing and if you’re a widow then you should not have any other expenses since you’re not living at home.

I do feel bad for the elderly who spend large portions of their net worth on care, when it truly isn’t necessary. The large corporations providing care aren’t necessarily providing better care as their employees are often paid very little or minimum wage.

um, $8200 a month a bed for a shared room in memory care is INCREDIBLY CHEAP in this area. the medicaid nightmare their hospital originally transferred them into was more like $13,000 a month per bed.

for $200,000 a year my violent, non-compliant, non-verbal parents were taken care of, fed, bathed, dressed, medicated, and entertained to the best of the staff's ability 24 hours a day. in-home care was not possible; the house was not accessible, and had to be sold to fund their care. and yes, the staff are not paid very much and it's generally immigrants that are willing to do that backbreaking and heartbreaking labor.

fortunately yes, it was only for about 4 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t change anything. Act as if you won’t get it. 6 million isn’t enough to live on anymore, so don’t get ahead of your self planning on a possible inheritance.

6m is very conservatively 200k+ per year. You can easily live on that.

I couldn’t but good for you.

+1

I "could" but that is not how I want to live my life at 55+. So we have planned for and have much more so we can live how we want in retirement.

How much do you plan to spend each year?