Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

You can get a lot of merit aid. My kids both did. Also, please do not accept that there is not a way to make this work out. Don't be lazy. Look at all options and financial aid etc...... and yes you may have to use some of your savings? Do you not have a 529 plan? Also, if you are paying out of pocket for college you can definitely get a tax deduction for it. Please keep an open mind and dont just assume it won't work out.

Name the T20 schools your kids got into with Merit. Because most simply don't give much merit. I don't consider 15-25 merit awards for 1500+ freshman "much merit". When acceptance rates are single digits, your odds of getting in AND getting merit are close to 0. SO sure, apply and hope and not have anywhere to go that you can afford. Or assume those are unlikely, and have a great list of targets and safeties you will actually be able to afford.

This. My high stats kid had a choice of full rides T25 no merit (not hooked) or dropping down below - I would say T40 - to get significant aid. He did not get any aid from Ivies, top publics and private SLACs. He was offered full ride at very small colleges you’ve never heard of. They were very clear the award was in exchange for his high ACT. Fortunately, he got into UVA (no merit - no Jefferson scholarship) and did very well and had a great time at a reasonable price point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

We were in the exact same situation as you last year ... kids friends DID get into T20s... coming from a public magnet with a lot of very, very low income but high achieving students. Many are there for very little $ (think $4k a year at Duke).

Everyone loves to say ... apply, meets need to schools give $ up to X income. That's great but at a high(er) income level you're getting maybe 25k-30k off a 90k school at the very most, if you have no assets. Which is still 60k+/year. The NPCs are accurate.

I will say...in the fall as the early acceptances come in there were lot of kids saying they are committed to Michigan, Cornell, etc...but by the spring, when the financial aid packages come out it's time to commit and the reality of the cost sets in, some of those kids ended up at our in-state flagship, or less expensive, less prestigious schools.

The GREAT news is that if you have ivy level stats, there are a LOT of places you can probably go almost for free. If it's a school that gives great merit money to super high achievers...there will be a LOT of super high achievers there. My kids school is very low ranked but has a TON of Ivy level kids (kids that turned down T10 acceptances) and followed the money...

The issue isn’t the stats- it’s the acceptances. kids at your kid’s school had a hook (high achieving at a very low ranked school). Without a hook, the likelihood is low.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

You can get a lot of merit aid. My kids both did. Also, please do not accept that there is not a way to make this work out. Don't be lazy. Look at all options and financial aid etc...... and yes you may have to use some of your savings? Do you not have a 529 plan? Also, if you are paying out of pocket for college you can definitely get a tax deduction for it. Please keep an open mind and dont just assume it won't work out.

Name the T20 schools your kids got into with Merit. Because most simply don't give much merit. I don't consider 15-25 merit awards for 1500+ freshman "much merit". When acceptance rates are single digits, your odds of getting in AND getting merit are close to 0. SO sure, apply and hope and not have anywhere to go that you can afford. Or assume those are unlikely, and have a great list of targets and safeties you will actually be able to afford.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a different experience than OP. We are a state school budget family and I saw it as a blessing. With a highly academic student, removing T20 from your lives and finding all the wonderful opportunities around you without the awful pressure and stress from Ivy discussions turned out to be a blessing.

+10000

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.

Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.

It already so clearly does. Where have you been?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

You can get a lot of merit aid. My kids both did. Also, please do not accept that there is not a way to make this work out. Don't be lazy. Look at all options and financial aid etc...... and yes you may have to use some of your savings? Do you not have a 529 plan? Also, if you are paying out of pocket for college you can definitely get a tax deduction for it. Please keep an open mind and dont just assume it won't work out.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t afford a top school for DD unless I spend my life savings, which I’m not willing to do.
But I’m sad that she worked hard in high school and can’t apply to anything that will cost more than in state.
Her friends are applying to ivy schools because they qualify for financial aid and they can afford to go there if they get in.
DD could likely get into a top 20 school but wouldn’t get merit aid there.
Just a vent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your child is able to make it into the most tippy top schools, I think the oncoming workplace shake up will open up opportunities for many who may have gone to lower ranking schools.

Your flexibility will matter more than the name on your diploma, unless you are taking the very top of an organization.

Even at the "very top", where you go does not matter! Spouse has been CEO/exec team at 3 companies (CEO at 2). Of the 10+ at each company in the Exec Suite, only 1-2 have degrees from "elite universities", while in fact over 50% have degrees from schools ranked 150+ (so not even "2nd or 3rd Tier by DCUMland definitions) Yet they are all top level execs who got to where they are because of what they do, not the name on their degree.

This. I know so many random highly successful people who went to Tech, or Penn State, or West Virginia, or even smaller places most have never heard of. If you know lots of successful people, you know this is true.