Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have the status or the look or whatever where they would deign to make small talk with you. Or they’re really socially awkward and don’t know how to act in public. Either way, f ‘em.

Yes! It hurts, but parents like this either get humbled quickly when they need something from the friendly masses beneath their imagined social status, or they realize the people with actual status... are nice and don't need to put on airs.

Like what? They will literally never need you so stop fantasizing about revenge. They have nannies or enough money to hire a babysitter on the fly, their houses have alarms, they can drive themselves or if their car isn't working they can take uber, if they need an ingredient for a recipe they have it delivered, if their kid is sick they have ice cream delivered, if their kids are at an afterschool event and they can't get there in time they hire a driver or pay the neighbor's nanny to pick them up, etc. They will literally never need to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor. Just stop.

This is so funny because snobby and stuck up doesn’t necessarily equal well off. I live in a town house neighborhood and no one here is wealthy like that, but there are plenty of unfriendly moms hanging around.

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Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

So only unsuccessful people ride the metro? Ok

Said no one ever. Metro is for the people barely making it

This is dumb. I ride the NYC subway all the time and see celebs on the train.

Moron, the DC metro is not the NYC subway.

So? They’re both public transportation. Rich and famous people use public transportation. Hence, she is wrong.

Not in dc.

NP here. Haven’t read all the responses, but you know that people like the PP above are living in some ugly McMansion in suburbia and terrified of taking the Metro because they don’t know how to exist in a city. But instead of realizing this about themselves, they are trying to make the argument that only the poors take the Metro to make themselves feel better. People from all walks of life take the Metro. It’s often much more convenient than driving. Just because you’re too scared to use it doesn’t mean others are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

People in NY are so much nicer than people in DC.

I agree. People in NYC love to talk.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people these days are deeply, deeply unhappy inside of themselves. Then you come along, all chirpy and happy and radiating happiness and smiling, trying to make light conversation and looking interested in them for real as people. And they cannot stand it. You irritate them with your smile, the happy tone of your voice, your easy-going manner, because they cannot have those things. They don't now how to have those things, OP. You remind them of what they lack. Never, ever stop being happy and remember that it isn't you, it's them.

Maybe sometimes. When I'm not the bright, chirpy ray of sunshine in the scenario, and I have to interact with such an individual, and I'm tired, it's a temporary annoyance because those individuals take energy to deal with. Much better a chipper person who can read the room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

Hah, yes, my father is a New Yorker and tries to make friends with everyone.

We went to a small town in Vermont to view the last eclipse after looking up the trajectory on the map. We thought we were being clever to find an out of the way small town, not realizing it would be overrun by other tourists for the same reason. This tiny town jacked up the parking to $26. I was so upset I started complaining about it to strangers walking next to us -- a couple from NY in their late 60s/early 70s. I said I felt so ripped off by this town. The guy said, "Don't let it ruin your experience. Just put it aside. Don't dwell on it. Just enjoy the eclipse." I couldn't believe how kind and human he was to someone he didn't even know, who was spewing negativity. New Yorkers are the best. They live in a massive city and yet retain their basic humanity. How do they do it?

I’m a New Yorker… there are lots of people here like anywhere. Some are nice, some are stuck up twats, some are classy and some are trashy. A 60s/70s couple who went out of their way to see the eclipse is probably of the more down to earth type.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have undiagnosed autism. I was really offended by this kind of behavior from one of the other parents on a team my kid was on, and then realized they have an extremely autistic child as well. I think in this case it is hereditary. Or maybe they are both exposed to the same environmental factor that causes it. In any event, I see a lot of adults who seem to have autism.

lol, ok RFK.

Snobby, think they're superior
Only looking for friends that benefit them socially--transactional with relationships
Not looking to connect with anyone--don't care or don't want to make the effort; not interested in others at school or in most situations
Self-absorbed
Shy or have social anxiety
Unhappy, depressed or insecure

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Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Why do you assume people who are casually chatting with you at your kids' school want to be friends with you and obsess over money and work achievements? This is the kind of take I'd expect from someone who isn't very socially intelligent. It's just small talk. It's not that deep.

Except some people are uninterested in small talk. As is their right.

It's fine if you're uninterested. But that doesn't give you the right to be rude to the person. Do you not know how to politely respond to someone even if you are uninterested? I swear some of you were raised in a barn.

I generally enjoy talking to people, but people actually do have “the right” to be rude. And rude is subjective. Sometimes I am preoccupied and will respond only briefly to people, rather than having a full-on conversation. Just because someone feels rebuffed doesn’t mean I have been rude.

I don't necessarily think responding briefly to someone is rude. Sometimes we just aren't in the mood for a full conversation for whatever reason. I don't think that's what most of the PPs here are referring to, though. It's the people who don't respond at all or actively ignore you when you say hello that are rude. And sure, people have a "right" to act like that, but that doesn't make it ok.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

So only unsuccessful people ride the metro? Ok

Said no one ever. Metro is for the people barely making it

This is dumb. I ride the NYC subway all the time and see celebs on the train.

Moron, the DC metro is not the NYC subway.

So? They’re both public transportation. Rich and famous people use public transportation. Hence, she is wrong.

Not in dc.

A lot of people have undiagnosed autism. I was really offended by this kind of behavior from one of the other parents on a team my kid was on, and then realized they have an extremely autistic child as well. I think in this case it is hereditary. Or maybe they are both exposed to the same environmental factor that causes it. In any event, I see a lot of adults who seem to have autism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have the status or the look or whatever where they would deign to make small talk with you. Or they’re really socially awkward and don’t know how to act in public. Either way, f ‘em.

Yes! It hurts, but parents like this either get humbled quickly when they need something from the friendly masses beneath their imagined social status, or they realize the people with actual status... are nice and don't need to put on airs.

Like what? They will literally never need you so stop fantasizing about revenge. They have nannies or enough money to hire a babysitter on the fly, their houses have alarms, they can drive themselves or if their car isn't working they can take uber, if they need an ingredient for a recipe they have it delivered, if their kid is sick they have ice cream delivered, if their kids are at an afterschool event and they can't get there in time they hire a driver or pay the neighbor's nanny to pick them up, etc. They will literally never need to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor. Just stop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Seeing other human beings as inconsequential actually makes you a horrible one. Hope this helps!

And get over yourself with the "I'm from New York crap". My husband is a born and bread New Yorker and nice to people. You're just an ahole.

Hah, yes, my father is a New Yorker and tries to make friends with everyone.

We went to a small town in Vermont to view the last eclipse after looking up the trajectory on the map. We thought we were being clever to find an out of the way small town, not realizing it would be overrun by other tourists for the same reason. This tiny town jacked up the parking to $26. I was so upset I started complaining about it to strangers walking next to us -- a couple from NY in their late 60s/early 70s. I said I felt so ripped off by this town. The guy said, "Don't let it ruin your experience. Just put it aside. Don't dwell on it. Just enjoy the eclipse." I couldn't believe how kind and human he was to someone he didn't even know, who was spewing negativity. New Yorkers are the best. They live in a massive city and yet retain their basic humanity. How do they do it?

When you live somewhere with so many people packed into a relatively small area, you just get used to dealing with the inconvenience of other people all the time. You also realize how small and insignificant you are. You can be a law firm partner or a magazine editor and on a NYC street you're just one of thousands of people, and not the most important one even. You are just exposed to lots of people's lives all the time and you realize that little annoyances or frustrations don't actually matter that much. You also generally have to make do with a much smaller living space than you would anywhere else (like even if you are wealthy, your NYC living space will be more compact than the home someone at your income level would have in another US city) and people mostly realize this is fine and that there are worthwhile reasons to give up square footage. New Yorkers also have greater access to art, theater, music, and academic outlets than people in most other parts of the US. This often results in people just being more cosmopolitan regardless of their individual level of education or their background.

Living in NY just brings out your humanity and enables you to see the humanity of so many other people. You can get this in any reasonably dense city, but in NYC you get more of it and you get it more often. I do think it tends to breed thoughtful, patient, open-minded people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

So only unsuccessful people ride the metro? Ok

Said no one ever. Metro is for the people barely making it

This is insane and betrays your cluelessness.

I’m the poster who first mentioned the metro. I actually never use it. But this week I’m helping out one of my kids with the grandkids (I retired early after making a boat load of money), and I’ve been taking the metro because her house isn’t that close to it and this way I can get a good walk in. I need my daily exercise!

I was surprised to discover that it costs 10 dollar a day round trip and while riding it I actually thought “this is a lot of money for a lot of daily commuters and must be tough for them . . . metro should be free.”

We get it. You live metro. Most people don’t. Enjoy your public transportation

This is so stupid. Do you live in rural Alabama? Plenty of affluent people in the DMV pay more to live near public transportation and take Metro.

She’d like us to believe that when she’s not trolling anonymously on the Internet she’s being driven around in a limousine

I never take the metro unless I absolutely have to. It grosses me out. I like to be in my own little bubble -- my car. It doesn't have to be a limoosine, it just has to be mine.

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

There is literally nothing wrong with that. People cobble together a social life from the people they interact with. The parents from school are their "own friends." There is no "real life" other than the one you're living.

A lot of people these days are deeply, deeply unhappy inside of themselves. Then you come along, all chirpy and happy and radiating happiness and smiling, trying to make light conversation and looking interested in them for real as people. And they cannot stand it. You irritate them with your smile, the happy tone of your voice, your easy-going manner, because they cannot have those things. They don't now how to have those things, OP. You remind them of what they lack. Never, ever stop being happy and remember that it isn't you, it's them.