Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband has always said if he made it to Director at his company he will join the country club near us.

He just got promoted and joined the country club-just a social membership but we can enjoy the club-golf, pool, tennis, pub.

One of my friends found out and said to me “well you will need to take me there so I can see it-it will be fun.”

I’m appalled at her rudeness.

You sound snooty AF. I'm floored that anyone would want you to invite them

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

No, that's not how it works. I wouldn't expect someone to offer to pay at an invite to a club, nor would I offer to pay. That is just weird.

You think it’s weird to offer to pay for your guest fees when you go somewhere? I would personally never make a guest pay since I invited them but I would want to know if someone else invited me and there was a hefty guest fee. $25 per person to go to a pool is insane and no matter their HHI, I wouldn’t want another adult to pay that for my family.

The view here of “well they can afford it” is unbelievable.

Anonymous wrote:When we joined our CC, my neighborhood/ school parent friends had a weird reaction. I never told them outright, but if it came up (e.g. we were selling our old pool membership and people said "oh, what pool are you joining instead"?). They would say things like "Oh, the fancy pool!". or "Oh you've GOT to let me see what its like!". It felt very uncomfortable as we never comment on finances with others like that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

No, that's not how it works. I wouldn't expect someone to offer to pay at an invite to a club, nor would I offer to pay. That is just weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

People are going to make assumptions about your means if you belong to a country club. If you are so strapped for cash that spending $200 on a gathering with friends is stressful for you, you should stop attending a country club. There are public pools, golf courses and tennis courts for people like you.

Of course it's nice to offer to pay but I don't take advantage of my friends by letting them host every time, if that's something you experience from friends you need different friends.

You are harping on the wrong thing. Its not about the $200, its being taken advantage of. Its people assuming that just because someone "can", they "should".