Anonymous
05/10/2025 21:22
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:This is as shitty thing to do to your child.
DD has a friend like this at school. Friend is 7 years old but has a mom in her mid-50s and a dad in his early 60s. Mom has symptoms of declining health. This kid will not be able to have "normal" teenage and college years.
Most people don’t have “symptoms of declining health” in their mid 50s. One of the regulars is my intense yoga class is 61 and she is kicking it. There are multiple 50 year olds in my running club running marathons. If the family OP talks about takes care of themselves then I don’t see the problem.
Anonymous
05/09/2025 12:44
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
This is as shitty thing to do to your child.
DD has a friend like this at school. Friend is 7 years old but has a mom in her mid-50s and a dad in his early 60s. Mom has symptoms of declining health. This kid will not be able to have "normal" teenage and college years.
DD has a friend like this at school. Friend is 7 years old but has a mom in her mid-50s and a dad in his early 60s. Mom has symptoms of declining health. This kid will not be able to have "normal" teenage and college years.
Anonymous
05/09/2025 11:59
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
I would do it as long as I had a willing guardian if I passed. I have a friend who had her babies in her late 40s, and she and her husband are fantastic parents - they are both retired and are always at the school volunteering and coaching the kids' sports teams. Even though they are now in their 50s, they are basically carefree because they've got a lot of money and don't need to work anymore, so they have a part-time nanny, a full-time housekeeper, some chef help, etc.
The main thing is having a plan for your kid if you pass and a plan for yourself, so you're not a burden to your kid when you need end-of-life care.
The main thing is having a plan for your kid if you pass and a plan for yourself, so you're not a burden to your kid when you need end-of-life care.
Anonymous
05/09/2025 11:54
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Nobody knows what the future holds. I know parents who died in their 30s.
If this couple has plenty of resources, they can afford a full-time nanny and a weekly cleaner and they will be fine. And it sounds like resources for elder care won't be an issue either.
Go to the "Family" forum. There are plenty of unhappy people there and presumably most of them had parents younger than 50. I don't think 50 is the ideal age for kids but if anyone can handle it, it sounds like these people can.
If this couple has plenty of resources, they can afford a full-time nanny and a weekly cleaner and they will be fine. And it sounds like resources for elder care won't be an issue either.
Go to the "Family" forum. There are plenty of unhappy people there and presumably most of them had parents younger than 50. I don't think 50 is the ideal age for kids but if anyone can handle it, it sounds like these people can.
Anonymous
04/29/2025 06:59
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Cousin did it, they now have three lovely children and a happy family.
Anonymous
04/17/2025 10:32
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I know someone that used frozen embryos (hers and her partners) and had their baby when she was almost 55 (and partner was 57). They did not use a surrogate. The child is still very young, but so far so good.
Fascinating. I thought there would be an age limit when women could physically carry (even if using donor or frozen eggs).
Most clinics limit the age, even for IVF DE
Anonymous
04/10/2025 11:52
Subject: Re:Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Absolutely not. Think of this poor child--parents have less energy from the beginning, probably won't have close bonds with other families because of the age gaps, only child, and then the joy of doing elder care when in their early 20s.
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:51
Subject: Re:Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:NP. No, but I also think paid surrogacy should largely be outlawed because it’s horribly exploitative.
This x100
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:31
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:I know someone that used frozen embryos (hers and her partners) and had their baby when she was almost 55 (and partner was 57). They did not use a surrogate. The child is still very young, but so far so good.
Fascinating. I thought there would be an age limit when women could physically carry (even if using donor or frozen eggs).
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:29
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Hell no.
Only someone who hadn't had kids would think this was a remotely good idea.
You're too old. Get over it. Having a baby at that age is pure narcissism.
At what age does it become narcissism exactly?
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:03
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Partner is 43.
Assume plenty of money on both sides to pay for care- both for the child and for adults. Big ideal obviously but there is no shortage of money
That fact that you throw out this money quote makes me think you have no clue about parenting and it’s a vanity project for you.
OP said she is not asking for herself.
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:01
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Partner is 43.
Assume plenty of money on both sides to pay for care- both for the child and for adults. Big ideal obviously but there is no shortage of money
That fact that you throw out this money quote makes me think you have no clue about parenting and it’s a vanity project for you.
The money is absolutely relevant -- it allows for the outsourcing of things that could get in the way of spending energy on parenting.
Anonymous
03/15/2025 16:00
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
My friend did it at 49. She didn't use a surrogate but did use donor eggs. Gave birth to twins, one who is nonverbal with profound special needs. I think the twins are 4 now? Maybe 5? She had always wanted to be a mom and I think it is her great joy, but it has also been an absolute nightmare to navigate.
Here DH is her age as well, and they are old enough that they really don't have the energy for this. But the energy needed for twins and one of them with serious special needs would be a lot at any age. But it's wearing them down.
Here DH is her age as well, and they are old enough that they really don't have the energy for this. But the energy needed for twins and one of them with serious special needs would be a lot at any age. But it's wearing them down.
Anonymous
03/15/2025 15:43
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
Anonymous wrote:Partner is 43.
Assume plenty of money on both sides to pay for care- both for the child and for adults. Big ideal obviously but there is no shortage of money
That fact that you throw out this money quote makes me think you have no clue about parenting and it’s a vanity project for you.
Anonymous
03/15/2025 15:35
Subject: Would you have a first baby at age 50 or 51? Assume a surrogate and $ but not a lot of
No. This is absolutely f$&cked up to do to a child. You don’t know how healthy you will be in the future. I had a parent who started showing signs of dementia at 67.
I cannot imagine dealing with that at 17/18.
So selfish.
I cannot imagine dealing with that at 17/18.
So selfish.