Anonymous wrote:Those of you acting so pious that OP is lying need to watch Dateline, 20/20, 48 hours or any other true crime show. There is a case in CA where the woman was murdered while the police were at her front door. Her ex had her killed. You people sound so ignorant.

OP, please don’t have any contact with this family at all. Also, secure your home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 families in a neighborhood and everyone goes to the same small private school?! I call BS on that and that made it all ot easy to disregard the rest of the story. ALL MADE UP!

My first thought was religious school and they are evangelicals who don’t associate with normal people.

This

Anonymous wrote:I was the child in almost this exact same situation. This post gave me chills; it literally could have been written about my dad and my life from 10-13yo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have started this post so many times and I kept erasing it because it was so fresh and raw this week that I wasn't even sure what kind of advice to ask for but I'm still floundering and would appreciate some insight from others. I'll try to make this long story short but I apologize in advance for the length. I will also say that we no longer live in the DC area so I am not concerned about any identifying information in this post.

We live in a neighborhood where there are about 15 families in our close friend group with kids ages 1-12 all of whom but the two youngest go to the same private school (the two families that have the young ones also have other kids who are school-aged). Our neighborhood has smaller lots and much common greenspace (also pool, gym, clubhouse, etc.), and we all live within five blocks of each other and can walk to anyone's house in 5 minutes and see each other out regularly. We do parties/get togethers as a large group a lot and kids are always in and out of each other's houses. The kids also all ride the bus together to and from school.

One of the dads in the group has always held some pretty intense political and other beliefs that are different from the rest of us (although one family is mildly in agreement with him on some issues). He will regularly go off on rants in person or via text (mostly on the dads' text chain) about various things and we usually just ignore him. He has always had a problematic relationship with alcohol and has many times been exceedingly drunk and out of control. Many parents in the group drink when we're together at functions but no one ever gets drunk or acts inappropriately except for him.

On Sunday afternoon, while texting about the W football game, he went off on another rant but this time it turned into threats to kill all of us who disagreed with him coupled with pictures of his loaded gun sitting on the kitchen counter. His wife was out of town for the weekend for a birthday party with college friends so he was home alone with his three daughters, ages 3, 6, and 9. He said we were all threats to him and he was going to take us out. One of the dads called the police and requested a wellness check. The police came but he refused to open the door and they said they couldn't do anything else. Around the same time his daughters FaceTimed their mom and said daddy was threatening to kill their friend and burn their house down with them in it. The mom called a mom in the neighborhood and asked her to go get her girls.

That mom and her husband went to the house to get the girls and the dad came to the door with a cocked gun in his hand, waving it around, and ranting that he was going to end it all, he had checked his life insurance policy and his wife would get the money, that he had been getting messages from Heaven that he was the light that was going to solve the world's problems, that he had been told we were all demons, etc. The other dad was able to get the gun away from him and convince him to let the girls go. Several hours later, in the middle of the night, the dad began calling and texting the family that had his girls saying they had kidnapped them and stolen his guns and he was going to kill them. They called the police again and this time he answered the door when they came. He said he wasn't a threat to himself or anyone else so they left.

Meanwhile, the mom who was out of town said she wasn't going to try to come back earlier from her trip (was planned to return Tuesday morning) and turned her phone off so she could get some sleep. When the family who had her children was calling her in the middle of the night it went straight to voicemail. Meanwhile, the children were traumatized and wouldn't stop crying and saying they couldn't go back to their house and were afraid of their dad. On Monday morning, the mom turned her phone back on and said the dad had slept and showered and was fine so they should return the girls to the house with him and she'd be home the next morning. The family didn't want to do so but was afraid of what would happen if they didn't so they sent the hysterical girls back to the house (this was after calling the cops again and confirming that they would not do anything further and that they had no legal right to keep the kids and could call CPS but it would be a slow process).

Mom came home Tuesday morning and acted like nothing happened. People have said that this kind of brushing it under the rug is common for trauma victims but we are all in shock. The family of the girl he threatened to kill (who is a classmate of his oldest daughter) has luckily been out of town this whole week and returns tomorrow. We have been driving our kids to school all week because the dad is usually the one who comes to the bus stop morning and afternoon (he works from home) and we didn't want ourselves or our children to be near him. The friend who took the kids is the only one who has been in contact with the mom, and she asked her to promise that the dad wouldn't be near any of the bus stops for the rest of the school year (she just started a job where she works from home). She agreed, but no one believes that she is actually going to take it seriously.

The school knows, the guidance counselors have been pulling the girls from class (per the reports of kids in their classes), and CPS was called both by a mom and by the school. We're pretty sure CPS showed up Tuesday night because there were multiple police cars outside their house that night. The family of the threatened child has sought legal advice. We had to tell our kids that this dad is no longer safe and their house is no longer a safe spot (they know which houses to go to in the event of an emergency and this used to be one). My kids love those three girls and are very upset that we're allowing them to stay in the house with their dad if he's not safe so we told them he wouldn't hurt his own kids but that we just need to give him space right now.

So I guess what I'm asking you all now is - how would you move forward with this? I feel terrible for those kids and I am angry with the mom's cavalier attitude about all of this but I understand that she has likely long been a victim of abuse and her response is one of trauma. However, I don't particularly trust her to take this as seriously as we all do because she's clearly heard these kind of threats from him for years. But he threatened to kill another child, a nine-year old, in our friend group, and I honestly don't know how to ever get over that. Am I being dramatic? What would you want to see happen before you would be willing to be near him again? Could you ever move past this?

You've done all you can. As an aside, you didn't succeed in making a long story short.

Anonymous wrote:I believe this story, and it is terrifying to me. I don’t understand the school or police reactions.

Re: the school- if they are taking the situation seriously enough that they called in counselors, then why aren’t they also calling whatever the child protective services unit is?

Re: the police- how is a drunk person waving a gun around kids not actionable? OP, I would check with the County prosecutor’s office - ask to talk to their child protection unit and/or victim services, explain the situation and ask for guidance.

I totally agree with pp’s who said make sure to let the 3 girls know that they can call you and come to your house at any time. Also, does anyone know any of the grandparents, aunts, uncles etc in the family- if so, I’d reach out to them as well.

By reaching out to as many outlets as you can think of, someone hopefully will step in to protect this family and other around them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so bad that I would move, including switching schools to get away from this family. He’s clearly mentally unstable and might act on it at any moment. I wouldn’t risk my family’s lives no matter how convenient or how nice of a community you have built.

+1
If this is real, it's a tragedy waiting to happen

Sadly it is real, but can you really wrap your head around moving and changing your kids' school? We are so happy living here and our kids love their school. Again, I'm not trying to minimize the threat, I am terrified of him, but actually relocating is a lot to wrap my head around.

Anonymous wrote:If this is real, it includes way too many details for a message board. These people could easily be identified from what you’ve shared.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t understand why a man who would text and send pictures of his gun on the counter is allowed to keep his gun? What state is this? That doesn’t have the ability to remove a gun from the home of someone who is making threats like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 families in a neighborhood and everyone goes to the same small private school?! I call BS on that and that made it all ot easy to disregard the rest of the story. ALL MADE UP!

My first thought was religious school and they are evangelicals who don’t associate with normal people.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 families in a neighborhood and everyone goes to the same small private school?! I call BS on that and that made it all ot easy to disregard the rest of the story. ALL MADE UP!

My first thought was religious school and they are evangelicals who don’t associate with normal people.

Anonymous wrote:15 families in a neighborhood and everyone goes to the same small private school?! I call BS on that and that made it all ot easy to disregard the rest of the story. ALL MADE UP!