The Guide to Making an MLS NEXT Team in the DMV

Thinking of getting your kid into an MLS NEXT team in the DMV? Here’s your real guide to how it actually works:

Baltimore Armor

Placement depends on the age group you’re targeting. For some, private sessions—or straight-up cash payments—can secure a spot with the coaches. Others might say just fill up a “LAKE” with money and hope for the best. And if your child is in the younger age groups, letting the coach fraternize with your significant other might just seal the deal. But hey, I’d “SURGE” into this one cautiously.

Bethesda SC

First, pledge your soul and all earthly possessions to the Brothers “C”. Second, provide intelligence on any traitors who have dared turn against the Crown of BSC. Lastly, commit not just your child but your children’s children to the club. MLS NEXT 2035 spots are already filling up fast—don’t miss your chance!

Achilles

Congratulations, you’ve officially reached Hell and have no other options left in youth soccer. Watching your kid get mentally and verbally destroyed will totally be worth it in the long run. Just breathe—it’s what you paid for. Now, all that’s left is to survive the Achilles Squid Games… I mean, do well at training.

Alexandria

Welcome to Soccer Costco—where we have programming for everything! Sports here are limited and come on a first-come, first-served basis. The main priority? Making sure every team and program is maxed out, no matter the quality. “PARK” it here there is room for all.

SYC

Welcome to Halloween Town—where everyone gets in. This Twilight Zone of a club is known for promising a pathway… to any and every club that will take you. So sit back, enjoy the chaos, and remember—everybody makes it here.

Disclaimer:

The following post is purely satirical and based on opinions. It is not intended to be an official statement about any club or organization. Every player’s experience is unique, and we encourage families to conduct their own research and make informed decisions about their child’s soccer development.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Armour kicked syc 2010 to the curb

told you so syc 2010 mediocre team forwards cant score open goals

Score 0-2. can't connect passes and keep possession. heard several going to DCU trails coming up and others advanced to next round of usymt. scouts see something

none of the players from SYC 2010 is going to the DCU trails. lol whoever told you that was smoking. NONE is going to USYMT.

What make you so sure no one? There was a usynt roster with players name on it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Armour kicked syc 2010 to the curb

told you so syc 2010 mediocre team forwards cant score open goals

Score 0-2. can't connect passes and keep possession. heard several going to DCU trails coming up and others advanced to next round of usymt. scouts see something

none of the players from SYC 2010 is going to the DCU trails. lol whoever told you that was smoking. NONE is going to USYMT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Armour kicked syc 2010 to the curb

told you so syc 2010 mediocre team forwards cant score open goals

Score 0-2. can't connect passes and keep possession. heard several going to DCU trails coming up and others advanced to next round of usymt. scouts see something

What was the score?

Anonymous wrote:Armour kicked syc 2010 to the curb

told you so syc 2010 mediocre team forwards cant score open goals

Armour kicked syc 2010 to the curb

Anonymous wrote:This thread is the “poster child” to why US soccer is “mid”.

Do parents have “letterman jackets” with patches for the tournaments your kids win?!?

The obsession with kids winning is hilarious.
Rankings are numerical tabulations based on tournaments, etc. and this can be easily manipulated.

Here is the rub. The teams want to please you parents so they win at all costs and player development is shunned. You are on the “best team in the country” but no D1 schools are playing attention because your kid has less ball mastery skills than a 10-year old Brit. The D1 schools go and recruit those skilled kids outside of the country and then 🇺🇸 parents complain all of the D1 spots have been taken by internationals.

As a parent who will have to join one of the clubs in the future as my child approaches MLS Next age, this is the takeaway from the early, quality parts of this thread:

Choose SYC if you want to win
Choose Achilles if you want a technical foundation that may help your kid get to Europe if you can stomach the coaches antics.
Choose Bethesda or Alexandria as the safe developmental middle grounds who have strong foundational methodologies but may not “always win at all costs.”

The coach is just fine. You are a fool.

This thread is the “poster child” to why US soccer is “mid”.

Do parents have “letterman jackets” with patches for the tournaments your kids win?!?

The obsession with kids winning is hilarious.
Rankings are numerical tabulations based on tournaments, etc. and this can be easily manipulated.

Here is the rub. The teams want to please you parents so they win at all costs and player development is shunned. You are on the “best team in the country” but no D1 schools are playing attention because your kid has less ball mastery skills than a 10-year old Brit. The D1 schools go and recruit those skilled kids outside of the country and then 🇺🇸 parents complain all of the D1 spots have been taken by internationals.

As a parent who will have to join one of the clubs in the future as my child approaches MLS Next age, this is the takeaway from the early, quality parts of this thread:

Choose SYC if you want to win
Choose Achilles if you want a technical foundation that may help your kid get to Europe if you can stomach the coaches antics.
Choose Bethesda or Alexandria as the safe developmental middle grounds who have strong foundational methodologies but may not “always win at all costs.”

Anonymous wrote:avoid syc 2010 mediocre team

Haven’t they been winning nearly all their games?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will Achilles re-establish a 2010 age group again?

Very unlikely. This year, Achilles has four MLS Next teams -- U13, U14, U16, and U19. Only the U16 team has had a decent year. The other three teams have done very, very poorly -- see the MLS Next website for the fall scores and standings. But we will see what the spring season brings. Unless the U13 and U14 team performances improve dramatically this spring, MLS Next may not allow certain teams for next year. This has happened during the past two years, so very possible result.

Pure uninformed speculation (well, except about the records). Maybe Achilles will get all age groups next year. That's what I've heard anyway. No chance that decision is put off until after the season. It's been up in the air in the past, but Achilles would do well to be more up front about what the situation is as soon as they know. holding ID sessions in May and June is way too late.

Achilles always held MLS Next ID sessions for all age groups in May and June, even though they were not permitted to have teams for every age group. If they found a kid they wanted, they would roster them up or down a year. No chance they will expand beyond four teams -- it is just a matter of what age groups. No decision will be made by MLS Next until the end of the spring season -- this was the process for the last two years, and Achilles lost teams in several age groups during both years.

I'm pretty sure this is wrong. They started with two. Now have four. And have never had five. Also wrong about "no chance." that's just your demented hope.

avoid syc 2010 mediocre team

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will Achilles re-establish a 2010 age group again?

Very unlikely. This year, Achilles has four MLS Next teams -- U13, U14, U16, and U19. Only the U16 team has had a decent year. The other three teams have done very, very poorly -- see the MLS Next website for the fall scores and standings. But we will see what the spring season brings. Unless the U13 and U14 team performances improve dramatically this spring, MLS Next may not allow certain teams for next year. This has happened during the past two years, so very possible result.

Pure uninformed speculation (well, except about the records). Maybe Achilles will get all age groups next year. That's what I've heard anyway. No chance that decision is put off until after the season. It's been up in the air in the past, but Achilles would do well to be more up front about what the situation is as soon as they know. holding ID sessions in May and June is way too late.

Achilles always held MLS Next ID sessions for all age groups in May and June, even though they were not permitted to have teams for every age group. If they found a kid they wanted, they would roster them up or down a year. No chance they will expand beyond four teams -- it is just a matter of what age groups. No decision will be made by MLS Next until the end of the spring season -- this was the process for the last two years, and Achilles lost teams in several age groups during both years.

Losing too many top players to Europe

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will Achilles re-establish a 2010 age group again?

Very unlikely. This year, Achilles has four MLS Next teams -- U13, U14, U16, and U19. Only the U16 team has had a decent year. The other three teams have done very, very poorly -- see the MLS Next website for the fall scores and standings. But we will see what the spring season brings. Unless the U13 and U14 team performances improve dramatically this spring, MLS Next may not allow certain teams for next year. This has happened during the past two years, so very possible result.

Pure uninformed speculation (well, except about the records). Maybe Achilles will get all age groups next year. That's what I've heard anyway. No chance that decision is put off until after the season. It's been up in the air in the past, but Achilles would do well to be more up front about what the situation is as soon as they know. holding ID sessions in May and June is way too late.

Achilles always held MLS Next ID sessions for all age groups in May and June, even though they were not permitted to have teams for every age group. If they found a kid they wanted, they would roster them up or down a year. No chance they will expand beyond four teams -- it is just a matter of what age groups. No decision will be made by MLS Next until the end of the spring season -- this was the process for the last two years, and Achilles lost teams in several age groups during both years.