Anonymous wrote:I feel like if someone had written this letter about their spouse working late and they'd gone out with their friends and the spouse had asked the poster to grab some carryout people would tell the poster to do it. Being nice to someone who's been working seems like extremely normal thing to do.
Anonymous wrote:Hi, my husband and I went to a local restaurant last night. Our 17-year-old daughter called us as we were leaving, after her day at work. She asked what we ate and if we could bring her something. We told her the kitchen had just closed. She told me "You mean I worked a double and I'm coming home to no dinner" We have gone out to eat a lot with all 3 of our children through the years and have also brought carryout most times home for them when they didn't go. We decided that needs to change. Today, I asked my 24-year-old son what he thought he stated his opinion which agreed with her. He told me all the parents he knows bring carryout home for their kids when they go out. Are we living in a cloud? Do most parents do that? I thought we were being extra kind when we do that, but it is expected. A little insight would be great. BTW - we are late 50's, early 60's and are not in touch with alot of parents of teens.
Anonymous wrote:How were you imagining she’d eat? What’s in the house?
From the way you tell the story, you were normal parents who fed their kids dinner every night. Then one evening you just decided to stop…without warning. If you’re going to stop feeding your minor child, I think the time to tell her isn’t 10pm on a weeknight when she just got home from working.
Anonymous wrote:I feel like if someone had written this letter about their spouse working late and they'd gone out with their friends and the spouse had asked the poster to grab some carryout people would tell the poster to do it. Being nice to someone who's been working seems like extremely normal thing to do.
Anonymous wrote:What you did was perfectly reasonable. There was a kitchen full of food that she could have prepared in a few minutes (grilled cheese, ramen, pasta, omelette, pancakes/french toast). We went out last night too. My 17 year old made pancakes, my 16 year old made a frozen pizza. I have no idea what my 23 year old did for dinner. However, we have never brought them home food. We stopped preparing food when they hit the teen years. They like choosing whatever they want.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s never crossed my mind once while eating out to order food to bring home to my kids. I do tell them all the options at home for dinner so they know what’s available to them. But I’d never bring anything home more than just leftovers.
It doesn’t cross my mind either when I go out. But maybe that’s because I make them dinner BEFORE I go out. (You know, like a good parent.)
Wow, that’s super judgmental. Good parents teach kids how to cook and not rely on others for all their meals by their late teens. If your kids don’t like what’s offered at the college cafeteria if they go to college, will you show up with a hot meal?
The fact that you folks keep bringing up college in a thread about high school (and some posters have even bragged about not feeding their middle school kids) is telling.
I teach my minor children how to cook. I also make sure that my minor children are fed. One can (and should) do both. Pretending that leaving your kids to fend for themselves is good parenting is simply a justification for selfish and lazy parental behavior.
Pp you are replying to. I mention college because the significant majority of 17 year old kids of DCUM posters are heading to college.
My kids are in 7th and 8th grades. On the rare occasions I actually head out to dinner without them, theres very little chance I’m actually cooking a dinner before I head out for a relaxing dinner out. I tell them the options they can make, which almost always includes leftovers and leave.
If op’s kids wants to work that many hours then I find it hard to believe they weren’t provided breaks during which they could grab something to eat.
I, too, was the most amazing perfect parent to high schoolers until I had them.