Anonymous wrote:For those of you who are saying that it's totally fine, why don't you stop shaving your legs and join the young generation? Why leave them hanging? No one is holindg a gun to your head saying you must shave.

I'm guessing that even though you won't personally judge a young woman for not shaving, you still understand the impact that it might have.

Because I'm not a member of the young generation and my personal preference for myself is to shave. Because I feel more comfortable about my appearance when I don't have noticeably hairy legs. I also feel more comfortable about my appearance wearing certain clothing styles and hair styles and make-up. But I don't expect everyone else to like or look good in the same.

If other people feel comfortable and like they way they look with hairy legs showing, so be it. It's not a matter of hygiene. If it's a position where it turns off customers and the employee doesn't perform well in that regard, the employee will (1) be advised she might consider changing certain aspects of her appearance will improve her performance or (2) will ultimately find she's not cut-out for that type of job and find something else.

Anonymous wrote:Dress code:

Shave legs
Wear pantyhose if not shaving legs
Wear pants

Otherwise your daughter will be pulled aside and told to shave her legs.

No
No
No

And definitely not. Have you worked in an office in the past 50 years? None of this is accurate.

Anonymous wrote:These women will be pulled aside by a supervisor and told to shave their legs as that is the standard in a professional office setting.

It is an uncomfortable conversation for a supervisor to have.

If your daughter is doing farm work in the summer or lawn care in the summer she can probably get by with unshaved legs but it is not the standard in the US.

No one is going to do this. And if it’s an uncomfortable conversation to have, it’s because deep down you know it’s creepy and inappropriate for a supervisor to notice or care.

Anonymous wrote:I had a coworker who had hairy looking legs that you could see on her ankles. Some other coworkers had snarky comments in the breakroom and I thought that was mean and who cares as long as she can do her job well.

So there will probably be a mixture of opinions. Some will be put off and others won't care. Ultimately, this is a path that is not yours to dictate.

IMHO, we need to normalize hairy legs for women who choose to forego shaving.

Pants

I am past 50 and haven't shaved my legs since I was 19. I work on Capitol Hill and interact with Republicans all the time. I wear dresses all summer. It really depends how heavy/dark your leg hair is. I am a brunette, but my leg hair is not that heavy, and no one has ever noticed.
I do shave my pits.
My cousin is 70 and works in a federal agency in a managerial role. She does not shave her pits or her legs. She wears longish dresses and does not wear sleeveless tops.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be honest and tell her that it is outside the norms and that some people will judge (but not say anything, because they could almost certainly be fired for that) but then leave it at that. The rest is up to her. If she knows the norms and chooses not to follow them, she’s an independent thinker. Good for her.

And it’s not like it’ll affect her career path or promotion potential or anything. She’s in high school. Most normal people, if they notice at all, will shrug and think “huh, kids today.”

OP. This is what I worry about, that it WILL affect her experience there and the recommendation she gets, etc. Later on when she has some seniority she can do what she wants. Right now she’s the most powerless person there, though. It seems bratty and entitled to go against office norms in your very first professional experience.

That seems crazy to me that leg hair would affect a potential recommendation. They already hired her so they must faith that she can do a good job. So she needs to do a good job. You’re overthinking the hair.

I think you underestimate the impact your physical appearance has in a professional setting.

No, I understand it well. But if she’s clean and dressed appropriately, this is really none of anyone’s concern.

So you don't get it! It is none of their concert of course, but she will be judged for it. When you are young and starting out, you want to fit in. Not the opposite.

Well, maybe this young lady doesn't care about "fitting in" so much. Or she will ultimately get a job in an office that cares more about her interpersonal skills and job performance than her legs. She's in HIGH SCHOOL.

These women will be pulled aside by a supervisor and told to shave their legs as that is the standard in a professional office setting.

It is an uncomfortable conversation for a supervisor to have.

If your daughter is doing farm work in the summer or lawn care in the summer she can probably get by with unshaved legs but it is not the standard in the US.

Anonymous wrote:I wear shorts to work but why is a "traditional" office allowing anyone to walk in bare legged?

Really? There was a time when women weren't to wear pants. Women are not required to wear pantyhose anymore - thank God. And do you wonder why women would be allowed to wear a skirt and jacket instead of pantsuit?

Anonymous wrote:Dress code:

Shave legs
Wear pantyhose if not shaving legs
Wear pants

Otherwise your daughter will be pulled aside and told to shave her legs.

I don’t believe for a second that this would happen, unless she’s a model or working for Trump International or something.

Dress code:

Shave legs
Wear pantyhose if not shaving legs
Wear pants

Otherwise your daughter will be pulled aside and told to shave her legs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is there a shaving requirement?

this. must men be clean-shaven?

It's not about the "rules." It's about not wanting to stand out in a possibly negative way.

As OP mentioned, once she probes her worth in a professional setting she can buck against trends, but currently the overwhelming majority of professional woman shave their legs. This is not a hill I would die on for women's rights.

Perpetuation of double standards for men and women. If she is willing to help break through that - good for her and more power to her!
If her employer has a problem with her appearance, they can let her know that through HR. She can then choose to only wear pants or if she chooses to take a stand and wear only short skirts with hairy legs in protest, then they can decide whether she has an attitude which they will reflect in any recommendation letters or they can see it as strength and confidence. That's the risk she will have to choose to take - IF they notify her that her appearance is an issue.

And, "once she probes her worth in a professional setting?" It's a high school internship. Really.

Anonymous wrote:Team DD here.

+1

Leave your kid alone. She can make her own body hair decisions.

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you should be able to have legs in whatever condition you want.

But people will judge. Again, they should not, but they will.

I'd just impress upon her that it's her choice but if you X then Y is likely and that is not fair but sometimes in professional settings it's best to attract the least amount of attention for your body when you are just starting out. Again, her choice, because that is fundamentally unfair. But worth saying.

It's a high school teenager's internship. I highly doubt the employer will comment on her hairy legs in a recommendation letter or refuse to write her one because she doesn't shave.

If the office has sexist expectations for hygiene and attire, they'll let her know.

Anonymous wrote:It shouldn't matter, but someone will likely judge her for it. She should know that and decide herself whether it's worth it to her to conform to other people's grooming standards.

NP. As the mother of a teen daughter who does not shave, I'm pretty sure OP's daughter is already aware and are already deciding for themselves. These are strong-minded, confident young women who are comfortable with who they are and how they look and don't see a good reason to acquiesce to "just because that's what others do." Those qualities are far more important and admirable than whether or not they have hairy legs.

I wish my daughter would shave; but I'm learning that it's my comfort - not hers - at stake. I'm the one worried about her being judged or peers being turned off by it, not her. So even though it's not my standard or preference, I'm trying to let her be her. Still, I really wish she'd at least shave those armpits - ugh! But since men don't have to do that, I'm doing my best to not be bothered by her not doing it.