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Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

LOL..... The world doesn't owe you anything with a degree from an Ivy. Have you ever heard of "it is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you)"?

The world doesn't owe you anything, yet the degree itself opens doors that degrees from other schools generally do not.

But, sure, keep pushing this narrative that you have to be obsequious and suck up to wealthy kids at an Ivy to get anywhere. It shows your ignorance, or perhaps reveals some personal failures on your part.

I guess my DD must have missed the memo. She recently graduated from Cornell with a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering, and she is still looking for her first job. She had internships during her junior and senior years in undergrad. Meanwhile, my niece recently graduated from GMU with a degree in Cybersecurity, and she got picked up by a government contracting company because her bf's father is a Fed SES that has relationships with that contracting company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

LOL..... The world doesn't owe you anything with a degree from an Ivy. Have you ever heard of "it is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you)"?

The world doesn't owe you anything, yet the degree itself opens doors that degrees from other schools generally do not.

But, sure, keep pushing this narrative that you have to be obsequious and suck up to wealthy kids at an Ivy to get anywhere. It shows your ignorance, or perhaps reveals some personal failures on your part.

I guess my DD must have missed the memo. She recently graduated from Cornell with a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering, and she is still looking for her first job. She had internships during her junior and senior years in undergrad. Meanwhile, my niece recently graduated from GMU with a degree in Cybersecurity, and she got picked up by a government contracting company because her bf's father is a Fed SES that has relationships with that contracting company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

LOL..... The world doesn't owe you anything with a degree from an Ivy. Have you ever heard of "it is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you)"?

The world doesn't owe you anything, yet the degree itself opens doors that degrees from other schools generally do not.

But, sure, keep pushing this narrative that you have to be obsequious and suck up to wealthy kids at an Ivy to get anywhere. It shows your ignorance, or perhaps reveals some personal failures on your part.

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So called 'connections' is BS for the most part for normal middle class folks.

Exactly

If you come from LC/MC, what do you bring to the table that those rich white kids want to hang out with you? It is like a person who is fat, broke and lazy but yet wants to have a beautiful model girlfriend. The real world does not operate that way.

My DS, from a MC family, just finished his first-year at an Ivy school as a recruited athlete and this is what he told me: 1- Wealthy kids wanted to hang out with him because they want to be "cool"; 2- They can tag with him to cool parties and talk to pretty girls that they can't do that on their own; 3) My DS can play guitar and sing, so girls are naturally drawn to him (it also happened in HS), and those wealthy kids want to hang out with DS because they want to be like him. One of the wealthy kids, whose father is a CEO of a F500 company, flew him to Vail during winter break in a private jet to stay at his parents' vacation home for two weeks and gave him 10K spending money. He also promises DS that his mother will get DS an internship if DS is his friend during the next four years in college and beyond.

So you need a hook not just to get in these places, but also later to be part of the beneficial 'networking' environments people see there.

FWIW my kid goes to a lower tier private school and has classmates with the same sort of wealth and connected parents. Actually, you can see this at publics too. Lots of the MC athletes hang out with the fraternities (who are kids of donors and legacies and wealthy) etc. NONE of this dynamic is exclusive to Ivys.

Yes, but you can make it "in" if you're exceptionally outgoing, good looking and charismatic.
My son's a senior at a top private high school and although we're upper middle class (at best), he moves seamlessly with the popular rung of the super rich. He's invited to Nantucket and Aspen and Europe with classmates. They adore him because he's super funny, deprecating, etc and I think most importantly---weirdly confident. He doesn't feel inferior to anyone.

Now, I'm not sure if any of this is actually to be admired. We (the parents) aren't fans of aiming to be friends with the rich and popular but it's how he's wired. That's another conversation.

I have two other kids who are very different.

Agree 💯 - I see this with my own kids. Some are just better at this than others.

Also agree w ppl who say this is life. Good to have your kids socialize and do ECs that involve lots of interpersonal interaction.

It's just good looks. Young people care if you're hot. If you are, they'll do anything to appeal to you. Then apply this to jobs, and the rest of life...
If you aren't hot, get back to grunt work.

Most of “good looks” is about grooming, clothing choices and signifiers of wealth/class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

Duh. It's GOLF.

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

Anonymous wrote:Parents of a golf athlete at an Ivy here. Almost all of the team members are from rich families and UMC. No team members are from MC/LMC. They also hang out with other rich regular students. Poor students are not invited, according to DC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The $10K is the only detail that seems off to me. Private jet people fly friends. Moms get people internships.

I'm not part of this world but I hear about it from time to time and it all seems "off" to me. Did you read the news article about the oligarch's daughter at NYU whose roomie stole a few items and fenced them? These were things costing $1,000s that were just lying around the room and weren't immediately noticed to be missing.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna157688

My friend whose daughter went to Princeton said his daughter spent winter break in Shanghai with the daughter of a family that built a lot of the 1930s skyscrapers ($$$). My manager who had his kids in the Moscow International School said the oligarchs' kids gave out iPads as birthday party favors. Maybe check this Stephen Colbert link out for fun:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5YJ7mh8zWc

And what about that Anna Sorokin/Delvey grifter? She was borrowing/charging large sums.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Sorokin

It's hard to tell trolls from reality, lol.

So you received second hand information and believed it as such, LOL....

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Anonymous wrote:Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.

All colleges are like this.

This was not me or DC's experience at our ivies.

Not my kid’s either. Friends of different races and scholarship to wealthy. It’s quite a mixed and friendly group.

SAME experience, Ivies where mine are significantly less homogenous with fewer wealth-tiered friend groups than Wake, W&L, even UVA

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.

All colleges are like this.

This was not me or DC's experience at our ivies.

Not my kid’s either. Friends of different races and scholarship to wealthy. It’s quite a mixed and friendly group.