Anonymous wrote:OP I am divorced and want you to know how much empathy I have for you. Your ex has very questionable judgment (as does the AP) and you have a right to be upset. It is woefully premature to involve another man in your kids’ lives so quickly.

I don’t think you need to cover for your ex-wife. You can say without judgement Mom had an affair and new guy is the guy she cheated with. Why do you need to take the high road? You don’t have to bash her or him or provide any opinions on the matter but I would absolutely not hide what she did. People who behave in shitty ways (and affairs are shitty even if understandable) need to take accountability. It doesn’t protect your kids to perpetuate a lie.

Good luck.

I agree with you and I know it is unfair to OP. To protect the mental well-being of his children he will have to sacrifice his own. Hence, she shouldn't tell them what happens. Unfortunately he has ZERO legal authority to do anything regarding his ex's lifestyle choice. He should instead pay attention to his kids behavior and mental health for any signs of distress. That's the only thing he can control. Some people will choose their partners over their children. Some will go as far as blaming their own children of they don't show similar affection to their new flames . So in this case if the kids know that dad has their back and dad never talks about Mom and her new flame they will be confident that dad doesn't give a f**k about Mom and her lover and is therefore always going to be there for them and take their side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I actually feel need bad for your ex wife. You could be the villain in all of this but that's irrelevant. I feel bad for your ex wife because in the real world post divorce relationships with AP do not have a good longevity. We see all the time, people divorce their spouses during the divorce proceedings the AP is there for support and back up options but as soon as reality sinks in they will quickly realize that the thrill/lust or whatever is gone. Both men and women fall into this trap. And I feel sad for your kids as well because they will yet be introduced to another guy in a few months. You are actually the one doing fine. If you are not dating good don't rush. No for real don't rush Bro the ladies will be there whenever you are ready.

This post right here is exactly why I hate women who post here. You are such self centered pieces of shit.

Dp. Why do you assume this poster is a woman?

OP I am divorced and want you to know how much empathy I have for you. Your ex has very questionable judgment (as does the AP) and you have a right to be upset. It is woefully premature to involve another man in your kids’ lives so quickly.

I don’t think you need to cover for your ex-wife. You can say without judgement Mom had an affair and new guy is the guy she cheated with. Why do you need to take the high road? You don’t have to bash her or him or provide any opinions on the matter but I would absolutely not hide what she did. People who behave in shitty ways (and affairs are shitty even if understandable) need to take accountability. It doesn’t protect your kids to perpetuate a lie.

Good luck.

Exactly. When one partner has an affair it's usually because of the other partner's failings, so you can't say it's inherently "wrong". The other partner may abuse, nag, pay too much attention to the kids, let herself go, or failed to attain the professional success he should have based on his education and family background. So being disappointed in the other partner, the person opens up his/her eyes and monkey-branches to a better situation.

IOW, if someone comes along and seduces your spouse, it wasn't meant to be.

Ok, cheater - what a joke. When one partner cheats it is ALWAYS because of that person’s own character defects and poor decision-making. And it’s always inherently wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. You are entitled to this rant.

+1

Anyone in your shoes would feel exactly as you do OP.

After all - this is the man that caused your marriage to falter.

Life can be very unfair & this is a perfect example of that fact!

I would make his life a living hell everytime you see him.

None of this is helpful to OP or his kids.

The marriage was likely faltering before this guy was in the picture. This is his children's childhood, not some War of the Roses movie. The marriage is over, OP can only control himself and what happens during his custody time. The guy would not be in the picture if his ex did not choose it.