Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:“ It seems weird because a 23-year-old is supposed to still be an adolescent”

Wut? No. They are adults in every respect.

Not according to this thread. A 23 year old woman choosing to date an older man must not be in her sound mind, and incapable of making decisions.

Do you guys remember being 23???

I remember being in my early 20s and having guys in their 30s and 40s hit on me. They seemed so old. Even the guys in their 30s seemed way too old. When you could be with a guy your own age, why would you possibly want someone with wrinkles, grey hair, and nothing in common with you? This just seems silly.

Likewise I can’t really feel attracted to younger guys at my age, now 40s. I want someone with life experience who I can learn from. Unlikely that someone in their 20s or 30s has that.

When I was 24 I had already passed my PhD comprehensive exams, and my Federal job was flying me all over the country to conduct focus groups with Federal workers.

And were you attracted to old men?

No, I'm a man.

I will admit that when I was in my 20s I found 40 yr old men attractive: more wise and sophisticated.

But, at 40 I didn't feel the same about men in their 60s, and now in my 50s, I definitely don't feel the same about men in their 70s.

40 yr old men can be hot to a 20 year old, but 55 and beyond is definitely grandpa territory. You qualify for the senior specials.

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Anonymous wrote:The issue is you are assuming all the men in their 50s are balding, overweight, and boring. Yes, many are. But the ones who are dating younger women are doing well in their career, keeping in shape, and are very personable (part of the reason they do well in their career). A lot of women in their 20s will overlook the age difference, especially when she compares to a man her age who can barely hold down a job and is boring. She can talk to a man who can keep up a conversation, take her to nice restaurants, etc.

I'm only in my 40s, but have all my hair, am tall, lift weights and have other active hobbies. I have a cool sounding career with travel. I am repeatedly told by women I date that that I treat them much better than the guys their own age do. This isn't buying things, it's listening and knowing how to navigate a relationship so that the woman you sleep beside feels comfortable in the relationship.

And you also have one divorce, one ex, one alimony, 2 kids, child support x2, relationship baggage to sweeten the deal. Why not date someone in same age and situation?

Are you really asking why, when I’m capable of regularly sleeping with women who are 25, I don’t choose to sleep with women who are 45 with kids and an ex husband?

I think she’s just pointing out the creep factor that you can’t/won’t see.

Yeah, I don’t see it. I assume I only have 2-3 years left of this, so will enjoy while it lasts.

Hey, I’m a married mom pushing 45 and I get it. Physically, no 45-year-old skin - especially that which has been stretched by multiple pregnancies- cannot compete with the fresh bloom of youth. I’m not shaming you for your preferences.

What I AM shaming you for, as well as your social cohorts, is failing to see that ultimately, you are USING a whole person, not just a hot body. She’s on a strict clock, and I find profoundly selfish to waste her time when she could be looking for a more compatible match.

Like it or not, most women bond through sex - damn oxytocin! She will attach to you, too, an even bigger time waster - not to mention a broken heart inducer, hence even MORE time wasted recovering. It’s a horrible thing to do to someone young and naive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 45 when I met the love of my life, she was 26. Married 23 years. Never think about the age difference, but she will gently remind me, "No, honey, I don't remember the OPEC oil embargo of 1973 and how it destroyed the auto industry..."

Wait until she's in her 60s vs your 80s when she has to start taking care of you. She won't be so happy then.

You realize you look like her father, right?

I'm 53. I cannot imagine having to take care of a 70, 80 something year old. I'm just about to get my independent life back; I wouldn't want to be taking care of my aging spouse just as my youngest is off to college.

That’s the beauty- you don’t have to. And if someone else chooses to, it doesn’t negatively impact you. The guys in these relationships would never be attractive to you, and even that assumes you are seeking a relationship.

Sure, but this is a forum for people to share the opinions. If that ^^PP didn't want to hear it, he shouldn't post it.

People age very quickly after 60. DH is 59, and even he is starting to see it.

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Anonymous wrote:And what are these 20 somethings like?

Are they poor? Are they ugly? Average?

My gf is 25, 5'8", very pretty (a "9"), thin (flat stomach), long hair. She is one of the top 5 prettiest women I have ever been with.

I don’t know how old you are, PP, but if you’re indeed 50+ AND have no intentions of settling down with her and giving her babies, then you are a selfish prick. At 25 she is at her absolute prime and should be aggressively filtering out men like you so that she can have a stable family with a good man one day.

Youth is so, so fleeting. This is her time, don’t be her biggest regret once she’s older and the dating pool starts to dry up for her.

FU Karen, I never said any of those things.

Okay, well, if you truly intend on providing these things for your young woman, then I apologize.

However, we all know that in the vast majority of these 20-30 year age gaps, the man is frittering away the woman’s tiny window to secure herself someone who will want to commit to her long term and build a family. All so they can enjoy some tight a%% and brag to their friends, with no consideration of the consequences this might have on the girl. I get coveting a hot young body, but there is a person attached to it. It’s cruel to waste her time.

That’s all.

Anonymous wrote:
They just want nice dating experience from you - being treated nicely, etc. Something their peers can’t offer.

Yes, young men don't have their shit together. An older man will pick her up, pay for parking, have reservations, and everything goes smoothly, usually ending up at his clean, comfortable place. A significant fraction of young women are attracted to fit older men.

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The 20s girls you date are “leftovers” not picked by by these higher value younger men

Every single person is a "leftover". You must pick your poison. In my experience, young women who enjoyed the convenience of dating an older man lacked ambition and motivation. I ultimately favored less-young divorcees with relationship experience.

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When I was 24 I had already passed my PhD comprehensive exams, and my Federal job was ... focus groups.

It doesn't take much maturity to pass exams or conduct focus groups. I had commonality with young Ph.D./MD's, but they were uber-nerds with no relationship history. Some older men have tolerance and provide a cocoon of emotional stability to accommodate neurotic younger women. Not me.

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Anonymous wrote:The issue is you are assuming all the men in their 50s are balding, overweight, and boring. Yes, many are. But the ones who are dating younger women are doing well in their career, keeping in shape, and are very personable (part of the reason they do well in their career). A lot of women in their 20s will overlook the age difference, especially when she compares to a man her age who can barely hold down a job and is boring. She can talk to a man who can keep up a conversation, take her to nice restaurants, etc.

I'm only in my 40s, but have all my hair, am tall, lift weights and have other active hobbies. I have a cool sounding career with travel. I am repeatedly told by women I date that that I treat them much better than the guys their own age do. This isn't buying things, it's listening and knowing how to navigate a relationship so that the woman you sleep beside feels comfortable in the relationship.

And you also have one divorce, one ex, one alimony, 2 kids, child support x2, relationship baggage to sweeten the deal. Why not date someone in same age and situation?

Are you really asking why, when I’m capable of regularly sleeping with women who are 25, I don’t choose to sleep with women who are 45 with kids and an ex husband?

I think she’s just pointing out the creep factor that you can’t/won’t see.

Yeah, I don’t see it. I assume I only have 2-3 years left of this, so will enjoy while it lasts.

They just want nice dating experience from you - being treated nicely, etc. Something their peers can’t offer.
A woman who is in her 20s and beautiful would be super popular with late 20s-mid 30s single men with no kids. There are many who are already established in their careers. I married my husband at 25, he was 36 and very successful no kids or prior marriage.
The 20s girls you date are “leftovers” not picked by by these higher value younger men

The cognitive dissonance in this post is really something.

Why? It’s just the life facts

The why is because pp poster a woman married someone 12 years older and calls women with just a more 4 year gap age than she does leftovers. By definition she is leftovers. lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 45 when I met the love of my life, she was 26. Married 23 years. Never think about the age difference, but she will gently remind me, "No, honey, I don't remember the OPEC oil embargo of 1973 and how it destroyed the auto industry..."

Wait until she's in her 60s vs your 80s when she has to start taking care of you. She won't be so happy then.

You realize you look like her father, right?

I'm 53. I cannot imagine having to take care of a 70, 80 something year old. I'm just about to get my independent life back; I wouldn't want to be taking care of my aging spouse just as my youngest is off to college.

That’s the beauty- you don’t have to. And if someone else chooses to, it doesn’t negatively impact you. The guys in these relationships would never be attractive to you, and even that assumes you are seeking a relationship.

Not pp but how do you know 'these' guys wouldn't be interested in pp? I suspect you are just trying to be mean because you're feelings were hurt.

I think you misread : I wrote “attractive” not “attracted” - I could have been clearer. Namely, I doubt that PP would be attracted to guys seeking partners 20 years younger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 45 when I met the love of my life, she was 26. Married 23 years. Never think about the age difference, but she will gently remind me, "No, honey, I don't remember the OPEC oil embargo of 1973 and how it destroyed the auto industry..."

Wait until she's in her 60s vs your 80s when she has to start taking care of you. She won't be so happy then.

You realize you look like her father, right?

I'm 53. I cannot imagine having to take care of a 70, 80 something year old. I'm just about to get my independent life back; I wouldn't want to be taking care of my aging spouse just as my youngest is off to college.

That’s the beauty- you don’t have to. And if someone else chooses to, it doesn’t negatively impact you. The guys in these relationships would never be attractive to you, and even that assumes you are seeking a relationship.

Not pp but how do you know 'these' guys wouldn't be interested in pp? I suspect you are just trying to be mean because you're feelings were hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ It seems weird because a 23-year-old is supposed to still be an adolescent”

Wut? No. They are adults in every respect.

Not according to this thread. A 23 year old woman choosing to date an older man must not be in her sound mind, and incapable of making decisions.

Do you guys remember being 23???

I remember being in my early 20s and having guys in their 30s and 40s hit on me. They seemed so old. Even the guys in their 30s seemed way too old. When you could be with a guy your own age, why would you possibly want someone with wrinkles, grey hair, and nothing in common with you? This just seems silly.

Likewise I can’t really feel attracted to younger guys at my age, now 40s. I want someone with life experience who I can learn from. Unlikely that someone in their 20s or 30s has that.

When I was 24 I had already passed my PhD comprehensive exams, and my Federal job was flying me all over the country to conduct focus groups with Federal workers.

You're not the typical case. Only 1.2% of the US population has a PhD, and those who had it (or were close to it) at 24 are extremely rare. Most PhD students I knew were in their late 20s when doing their programs.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is you are assuming all the men in their 50s are balding, overweight, and boring. Yes, many are. But the ones who are dating younger women are doing well in their career, keeping in shape, and are very personable (part of the reason they do well in their career). A lot of women in their 20s will overlook the age difference, especially when she compares to a man her age who can barely hold down a job and is boring. She can talk to a man who can keep up a conversation, take her to nice restaurants, etc.

I'm only in my 40s, but have all my hair, am tall, lift weights and have other active hobbies. I have a cool sounding career with travel. I am repeatedly told by women I date that that I treat them much better than the guys their own age do. This isn't buying things, it's listening and knowing how to navigate a relationship so that the woman you sleep beside feels comfortable in the relationship.

And you also have one divorce, one ex, one alimony, 2 kids, child support x2, relationship baggage to sweeten the deal. Why not date someone in same age and situation?

Are you really asking why, when I’m capable of regularly sleeping with women who are 25, I don’t choose to sleep with women who are 45 with kids and an ex husband?

I think she’s just pointing out the creep factor that you can’t/won’t see.

Yeah, I don’t see it. I assume I only have 2-3 years left of this, so will enjoy while it lasts.

They just want nice dating experience from you - being treated nicely, etc. Something their peers can’t offer.
A woman who is in her 20s and beautiful would be super popular with late 20s-mid 30s single men with no kids. There are many who are already established in their careers. I married my husband at 25, he was 36 and very successful no kids or prior marriage.
The 20s girls you date are “leftovers” not picked by by these higher value younger men

The cognitive dissonance in this post is really something.

Why? It’s just the life facts

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is you are assuming all the men in their 50s are balding, overweight, and boring. Yes, many are. But the ones who are dating younger women are doing well in their career, keeping in shape, and are very personable (part of the reason they do well in their career). A lot of women in their 20s will overlook the age difference, especially when she compares to a man her age who can barely hold down a job and is boring. She can talk to a man who can keep up a conversation, take her to nice restaurants, etc.

For about 10 years?

You flatter yoursekf. Plenty of interesting 20 and 30 year old men!

Anonymous wrote:I’m 53, girlfriend is 34 and it’s the same as any other relationship. She’s wise beyond her years and I’m immature so we meet right in the middle. It’s going to end when she realizes she wants kids and it will hurt but for now we’re both very happy.

Why not have the talk now? She maybe happy not to have children but if she does and you string her along than you are a jerk.

Ask her if she wants kids and tell her you don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is you are assuming all the men in their 50s are balding, overweight, and boring. Yes, many are. But the ones who are dating younger women are doing well in their career, keeping in shape, and are very personable (part of the reason they do well in their career). A lot of women in their 20s will overlook the age difference, especially when she compares to a man her age who can barely hold down a job and is boring. She can talk to a man who can keep up a conversation, take her to nice restaurants, etc.

I'm only in my 40s, but have all my hair, am tall, lift weights and have other active hobbies. I have a cool sounding career with travel. I am repeatedly told by women I date that that I treat them much better than the guys their own age do. This isn't buying things, it's listening and knowing how to navigate a relationship so that the woman you sleep beside feels comfortable in the relationship.

And you also have one divorce, one ex, one alimony, 2 kids, child support x2, relationship baggage to sweeten the deal. Why not date someone in same age and situation?

Are you really asking why, when I’m capable of regularly sleeping with women who are 25, I don’t choose to sleep with women who are 45 with kids and an ex husband?

I think she’s just pointing out the creep factor that you can’t/won’t see.

Yeah, I don’t see it. I assume I only have 2-3 years left of this, so will enjoy while it lasts.

They just want nice dating experience from you - being treated nicely, etc. Something their peers can’t offer.
A woman who is in her 20s and beautiful would be super popular with late 20s-mid 30s single men with no kids. There are many who are already established in their careers. I married my husband at 25, he was 36 and very successful no kids or prior marriage.
The 20s girls you date are “leftovers” not picked by by these higher value younger men

The cognitive dissonance in this post is really something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was 45 when I met the love of my life, she was 26. Married 23 years. Never think about the age difference, but she will gently remind me, "No, honey, I don't remember the OPEC oil embargo of 1973 and how it destroyed the auto industry..."

Wait until she's in her 60s vs your 80s when she has to start taking care of you. She won't be so happy then.

You realize you look like her father, right?

I'm 53. I cannot imagine having to take care of a 70, 80 something year old. I'm just about to get my independent life back; I wouldn't want to be taking care of my aging spouse just as my youngest is off to college.

That’s the beauty- you don’t have to. And if someone else chooses to, it doesn’t negatively impact you. The guys in these relationships would never be attractive to you, and even that assumes you are seeking a relationship.