Anonymous wrote:I find the “sports are so pointless” posters interesting, because they are undoubtedly the same posters claiming that the one and only way for a child to be successful in life is through advanced academics, with the goal being multiple Ivy degrees that the kids can work into any conversation until the end of time.

The concept of being a great athlete at a state university being another path to professional success is unthinkable to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today. Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.

To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.

Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.

But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.

I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.

Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.

The bolded is just false. And this is nothing against travel sports or sports in general. If that's what your kid is into and you want to commit to it, have at it. But the idea that the easiest, best way to make sure your kid stays of screens, gets exercise, has friends, and has a good relationship with you is travel sports is one of the most insane things I've ever heard, especially given how many families I know for whom travel sports means they never spend weekends together as a family, their kids can't participate in a lot of school-based activities, and younger siblings often wind up at the mercy of an older sibling's travel sport schedule.

I don't disagree with some of the other stuff you say, and I do think it's very, very worthwhile for kids to have dedicated activities that parents are invovled/interested in, whether that's scouting or sports or an artistic interest or something else. But the argument that travel sports is the best/easiest of all available options is not only narrow minded but just not born out by the average travel sport experience. There are good things about travel sports and negative things about it, and depending on the family, the bad can easily outweigh the good. It just depends on the kid, the family, the sport (and the team).

There's no magic bullet here. You have to actually talk to and get to know your kid, follow their lead a bit on what interests them (and what they are good at -- letting your kids gravitate towards stuff they have natural ability at can help a lot, and if that's not sports, trying to force them into sports isn't going to work). The attitude that travel sports are *the* solution is just super weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today. Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.

To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.

Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.

But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.

I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.

Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.

The bolded is just false. And this is nothing against travel sports or sports in general. If that's what your kid is into and you want to commit to it, have at it. But the idea that the easiest, best way to make sure your kid stays of screens, gets exercise, has friends, and has a good relationship with you is travel sports is one of the most insane things I've ever heard, especially given how many families I know for whom travel sports means they never spend weekends together as a family, their kids can't participate in a lot of school-based activities, and younger siblings often wind up at the mercy of an older sibling's travel sport schedule.

I don't disagree with some of the other stuff you say, and I do think it's very, very worthwhile for kids to have dedicated activities that parents are invovled/interested in, whether that's scouting or sports or an artistic interest or something else. But the argument that travel sports is the best/easiest of all available options is not only narrow minded but just not born out by the average travel sport experience. There are good things about travel sports and negative things about it, and depending on the family, the bad can easily outweigh the good. It just depends on the kid, the family, the sport (and the team).

There's no magic bullet here. You have to actually talk to and get to know your kid, follow their lead a bit on what interests them (and what they are good at -- letting your kids gravitate towards stuff they have natural ability at can help a lot, and if that's not sports, trying to force them into sports isn't going to work). The attitude that travel sports are *the* solution is just super weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today. Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.

To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.

Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.

But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.

I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.

Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

How old are your kids?

I have a son in middle and high school. Much of their social life revolves around sports. I do not think the parents drive the sports obsession. In our school, the sporty kids are often the more popular kids. Your kid doesn’t have to be popular or want to be popular but if your kid plays soccer or basketball or baseball, he will want to be good. No one is talking about elite athletes, at least no one in my circles.

They are popular with each other. They aren't popular with the kids who aren't into what they do. Those other kids are popular with each other and don't really notice your kids any more than your kids notice them.

I grew up in the nineties. The popular kids back then and the popular kids now don’t look that different. At my high school in an UMC neighborhood, there were the rich, good looking, smart athletes who played field hockey, lacrosse, tennis, etc who went to an ivy. I worked in finance and you see the same kinds of people there too.

The "popular kids" look the same to you because you have a strong personal preference for a certain kind of person, and that preference has been the same since the 90s. So you look at your kids school and you are drawn to the kids who have they same qualities as the kids you were drawn to in high school. You think of these kids as "the popular kids" because you want to be friends with them/want your kids to be friends with them. But the entire thing is based on your personal value system, and plenty of people don't share it.

When I was in high school in the 90s, I played no sports. I did speech and debate, drama, and some service organizations. I had tons of friends, won academic and achievement awards, had the lead in several school plays and stage managed another, and was a class-elected speaker at my high school graduation. There were also kids I went to school with who played multiple varsity sports, served in student government, got great grades, and won awards. We were both "popular" in the sense that people liked us and we had large friend groups and were well known in the school community. You can do this with sports and without it. I knew a guy in high school who was aggressive unathletic, was best known for being the star of the "mathletes" team, and he was extremely well liked, wound up our valedictorian, attended a top school, got an MBA and law degree, and now is an executive at a FANG company. This guy did an independent study to satisfy his gym requirement our senior year in which he took walks and produced a detailed report on how he increased his calorie burn via walking by increasing distance, speed, and utilizing walking techniques of "distance walkers." He was beloved for stuff like this and the school wound up creating a class based on this called "Walking for Fitness" (unofficially known as "Nerd Gym" among students). He was popular!

The only time that sports actually dictate whether kids are socially successful or not are in very narrow, weak schools where sports are the only activity that gets funding or community support and where no one cares about any other metric of success. And becoming popular via sports in a place like that is not a road to success in life unless it is your dream to run a local car dealership chain and serve on the city council of some podunk town in the middle of nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:I will add that knowing how to relate to sports and play things like golf is very very helpful in the business world. How many times have you heard of tech, finance and law people who have “golf outing” and go to sporting events as a way to mingle, generate business and meet new people. A lot.

My sister is a top sales rep for a tech company. She is a great golfer. She managed to get into the “good old guys” club and be competitive with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

How old are your kids?

I have a son in middle and high school. Much of their social life revolves around sports. I do not think the parents drive the sports obsession. In our school, the sporty kids are often the more popular kids. Your kid doesn’t have to be popular or want to be popular but if your kid plays soccer or basketball or baseball, he will want to be good. No one is talking about elite athletes, at least no one in my circles.

They are popular with each other. They aren't popular with the kids who aren't into what they do. Those other kids are popular with each other and don't really notice your kids any more than your kids notice them.

I grew up in the nineties. The popular kids back then and the popular kids now don’t look that different. At my high school in an UMC neighborhood, there were the rich, good looking, smart athletes who played field hockey, lacrosse, tennis, etc who went to an ivy. I worked in finance and you see the same kinds of people there too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today. Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.

To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.

Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.

But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.

I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.

Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.

Goodness, you have a very narrow world view. LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

I can’t believe that this was written by someone parenting today. Travel sports is by far the easiest and most fun way to limit screen time, make sure your dc is physicaly fit and give them positive opportunities to socialize.

To duplicate the experience of travel sports (at least for the under 13 set) you would have to set up multiple playdates a week, work out with your kids multiple days per week and develop an interest that both of you could talk and strategize about.

Even if you did all of those things you would miss out on the thrill of watching your child compete, struggle, and occasionally win. You would miss out on the community of parents who you learn from and in my case became some of my best friends.

But what you miss the most is the conversations with your child after games and in the hotel rooms during tournaments. Those moments give you a chance to talk about disappointments, defeats, difficult personal situations. Those moments are some of the best I’ve had as a dad.

I will say that athletic success can not be the expectation. There are too many variables- your kid’s athletic ability, his interest and competition. Also I don’t think it has to be sports but it does have to be something physical and on going. You might get similar results with dance or scouts.

Finally, in my experience raising your kids so that they have a project that you help them work on over the years is a great way to parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

How old are your kids?

I have a son in middle and high school. Much of their social life revolves around sports. I do not think the parents drive the sports obsession. In our school, the sporty kids are often the more popular kids. Your kid doesn’t have to be popular or want to be popular but if your kid plays soccer or basketball or baseball, he will want to be good. No one is talking about elite athletes, at least no one in my circles.

They are popular with each other. They aren't popular with the kids who aren't into what they do. Those other kids are popular with each other and don't really notice your kids any more than your kids notice them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

My friends with unathletic boys struggle socially. The unathletic not social boys don’t necessarily seem to be smarter, just not athletic and struggling socially. Boys tend to run around and hang out together.

This is such a a weird and limited outlook, I don't get it.

I think some of you are obsessed with this image of adolescence of being about being a varsity athlete, getting invited to all the parties, having the largest volume of friends. It feels very antiquated to me. I have a MS kid and HS kid and this is not the world they live in. The social scenes at their schools are not centralized around athletics. It's not 1952.

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am among those who don't get the sports obsession.

I do get playing sports and encouraging kids to play sports. And if a kid shows promise in a sport, or even just really likes it, supporting them in pursuing it. All normal. Sports are great.

But some of you talk about it like becoming an "elite athlete" is the only path to success. Most of my friends are very successful professionally-- lots of Ivy and equivalent grads, lawyers, consultants, etc. Many played sports in adolescence, almost none did so in college. I can think of a handful who did play in college, and only one *might* have been considered elite. That's it.

What they have in common is not athletic prowess but academic success. Great grades, genuine interest in learning and succeeding academically. Good test takers, voracious readers, interested in and engaged with the world. Sports/athletics are pretty beside the point. Some are athletic now, some aren't.

So if your goal is raising kids who are successful in life, I don't understand this fixation on sports. Again, I think it always makes sense to support and encourage a kid in an interest where they show promise, but that could be soccer or music or math or debate club. If your kid isn't that into sports or just isn't good enough to play at a high level, I don't think it really matters in terms of success.

Now, if your kid struggles with reading or math, is disinterested in school, etc? That's an issue. At least if your goal for them is professional success.

My friends with unathletic boys struggle socially. The unathletic not social boys don’t necessarily seem to be smarter, just not athletic and struggling socially. Boys tend to run around and hang out together.

This is such a a weird and limited outlook, I don't get it.

I think some of you are obsessed with this image of adolescence of being about being a varsity athlete, getting invited to all the parties, having the largest volume of friends. It feels very antiquated to me. I have a MS kid and HS kid and this is not the world they live in. The social scenes at their schools are not centralized around athletics. It's not 1952.