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Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

But here you are on a thread complaining about how women aren’t interested in marrying. Pick a lane.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

I would be loaded if I never married and had kids. I would have millions more saved than I already do. Marriage + kids has not been a good financial investment. It has also drawn me away from friendships because, between work, marriage, and kids, I have no time for my own friendships and hobbies. I love my kids and don't regret them, but there is no doubt I would be much wealthier if I had remained single.

And 20-40 years from now, there won't be nieces and nephew to fall back on, because their siblings never had kids, either.

Godspeed.

So what? Still better than taking care of an old man.

I assume you saw the recent news story of the 93 year old woman being beaten with her soiled underpants by her caregiver in a nursing home. Good luck with that, you know, because you do not value the family unit.

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Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Very few people saying it actually believe it. It’s just vital to them to always— always— blame women. You see it pretty blatantly in the anti-abortion “pro-life”’lunatics.

No way. Some women just choose badly. I predicted a best friend's divorce before she even married. They were married less than 2 years. He never graduated from college, barely had a career, and was going nowhere. She tried to get him to finish college, filled out his applications to get him re-enrolled, then finally gave up and divorced him. She had to pay him alimony. So, they broke up because he was a broke barely employed loser. This was well known before they got married. She didn't want to talk about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

Someone in her 70s now was growing up in a time when women couldn’t have credit cards in their own names or bank accounts without the signature of male relatives.

A woman now has an equal or better chance of being financially stable in her old age as a man. She certainly won’t be childless without one unless she chooses to be. The idea of an old maid living in poverty, a burden on relatives, is an anachronism.

Exactly. Many more women own homes in the United States than men, and that’s WITH the wage gap and discrimination. Women are much more financially responsible than men

And yet, the Pew Research Center offers another theory -- one that is actually based in fact, not unsubstantiated, self-aggrandizing fiction:

The homeownership edge that single women have held over single men is due more to their numbers than their economic power. This is especially true among older Americans, who are more likely than younger people to own a home. About 70% of single household heads ages 65 and older own their home, compared with 44% of single household heads ages 35 to 44.

Among households headed by an unmarried person age 65 or older, about 6 million more are headed by women than men. Looked at another way, a third of all single women household heads were at least 65 years old in 2022, while only 22% of single men household heads were in that age group. This may be because women in the U.S. tend to live longer than men. (Single Americans in this analysis include those who are widowed, who tend to be in older age groups.)

In most age groups, households headed by single women have lower homeownership rates than those headed by single men – a finding that aligns with economic considerations.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/12/single-women-own-more-homes-than-single-men-in-the-us-but-that-edge-is-narrowing/#:~:text=In%202022%2C%20single%20women%20owned,Single%20men%20owned%2036%25.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Very few people saying it actually believe it. It’s just vital to them to always— always— blame women. You see it pretty blatantly in the anti-abortion “pro-life”’lunatics.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Please. So many women on here complaining that they found out after marriage and their kids were diagnosed with autism that gee whiz! Husband has autism too. How do you not notice this for years? Stop being so desperate to marry the first guy who asks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

Right, that’s the age when the cool aunts become the cool SMBC whose nieces and nephews free babysit and who is in a place in her career to have a full time
Nanny.

It's not really a step up to be a SMBC. Nobody is envious of that person, doing it all alone, with a fatherless child. A nanny is not a replacement for a second parent.

Nannie’s are often better.

Women can have and raise babies without men, you make it sound like it’s impossible.

Of course it's possible. Never heard of a single mom before? But it's not desirable, at all. And no, a nanny is not a parent replacement. You must have a nanny if you think that to make yourself feel better.

It’s is desirable when it’s planned that way.

Not a replacement but better at providing support and not being a burden.

Most men are less helpful than a nanny/sister/grandmother.

Sadly, men are mostly missing or worse pouting about not getting more attention.

Remove him from the picture and life is much easier.

Please. It may be planned but any parent can attest to not really knowing what they were getting into. Doing it all on your own with no other parent to share the joys with is hardly desirable. It can be lonely, selfish, and a slog.

Most married women find raising kids with a man lonely, selfish and a slog.

they have one extra ungrateful child to care for and it pulls their attention from raising actual children. Men are contantly competing with their children for attention and it's like pulling teeth to get them to be a partner.... and those are the ones that are not working 24x7 to avoid home.

Most? Really? Care that back that up? Sorry you had a bad picker and married a dud.

People are always saying women “chose bad” ignoring the fact that most men will lie and pretend to be someone else until they lock a woman down. And that men as a whole engage in these selfish behaviors and that’s why so many women complain about them

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

Someone in her 70s now was growing up in a time when women couldn’t have credit cards in their own names or bank accounts without the signature of male relatives.

A woman now has an equal or better chance of being financially stable in her old age as a man. She certainly won’t be childless without one unless she chooses to be. The idea of an old maid living in poverty, a burden on relatives, is an anachronism.

Exactly. Many more women own homes in the United States than men, and that’s WITH the wage gap and discrimination. Women are much more financially responsible than men

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

The reality is, from a Friend who has worked in hospices and nursing homes, that’s it’s overwhelmingly older men who are broke with no family. It’s overwhelmingly older men who don’t maintain relationships or whose children feel no loyalty towards them. There’s a reason why men who have daughter live many years longer and women who have sons live shorter lives. Men are energetic “takers” and most of them rely deeply on female labor to even function at a normal level

And yet, statistics from the federal government of the United States of America suggest that your "Friend" might be divorced from reality:

Among the population of nursing home residents, the sex ratios are even more dramatic. For those age 65-74 who reside in U.S. nursing homes, for every 100 men there are 132 women. Among residents of nursing homes age 75-84, for every 100 men there are 246 women, and among those age >/=85, for every 100 men there are 425 women.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15692280/#:~:text=For%20those%20age%2065%2D74,men%20there%20are%20425%20women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

The reality is, from a Friend who has worked in hospices and nursing homes, that’s it’s overwhelmingly older men who are broke with no family. It’s overwhelmingly older men who don’t maintain relationships or whose children feel no loyalty towards them. There’s a reason why men who have daughter live many years longer and women who have sons live shorter lives. Men are energetic “takers” and most of them rely deeply on female labor to even function at a normal level

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every political movement is about acquiring as much power as possible. There is no movement that goes 'lets acquire as much power as possible and then back off a little bit'. Even if it intended to when it started.

I don’t think there is a more nakedly explicit power grab than the so-called 4B movement. “We will end sexual reproduction and thereby civilization as we know it unless our demands are met” is INSANE!

It is not. Nobody has to participate in things they don't enjoy or like. It is called passive freedom.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look ladies, it’s all fun and games to be the “cool aunt” when you are 28 and traveling the world. Everyone looks up to you and they want to be you. Then you turn 43 and you’re still single with no kids and your career has sort of peaked, as well as your looks.

You can’t be a “cool aunt” at 43

This is ridiculous. You’re weird. Stop falling to what is conventional. It isn’t real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism.

It will be very interesting to see the younger generations of women age single, and alone, with no families of their own. Will they have enough saved for retirement? How will they make it? I have an older female relative -- single, childless, early 70s -- living in another relative's garage because they lost their job. Can't find another one that covers the bills, now health is failing. Without the help of nieces and nephews, she might be on the streets.

I would be loaded if I never married and had kids. I would have millions more saved than I already do. Marriage + kids has not been a good financial investment. It has also drawn me away from friendships because, between work, marriage, and kids, I have no time for my own friendships and hobbies. I love my kids and don't regret them, but there is no doubt I would be much wealthier if I had remained single.

And 20-40 years from now, there won't be nieces and nephew to fall back on, because their siblings never had kids, either.

Godspeed.

So what? Still better than taking care of an old man.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage makes sense for women who want to have families, and can have financial benefits if they live in an expensive area where buying a home or raising kids on a single salary might be challenging even if reasonably well paid.

Outside of that, marriage is often not a good deal for women, and a way for them to get tied down to someone who is unlikely to care for them as much as they expect to be cared for BY them, especially as you age.

So for women who doesn't want to or cannot have kids, and is financially stable, the ONLY situation in which a longterm relationship or marriage makes sense is if she meets someone who truly makes her happy and would be a good partner and bring something to the table. But by your late 30s and onward, the number of unmarried men who fit that description is very, very small. The ones who are out there might also have baggage you don't want to deal with (divorced or widowed, potentially children from a previous marriage, demanding jobs that are not conducive to compromise or relationships).

What is the value proposition for them? There really isn't one.

Meanwhile a lot of men in this age group want or even need women to do the stuff women do in relationships all the time -- make the home a nice place to be, maintain social relationships, plan vacations, encourage their partners to go to the doctor and dentist, etc. Women don't need someone to do that stuff. Many men do. It's honestly sad.

We need a new vision for being a man that brings more to the table than sperm and a job. Men need more soft skills that would actually benefit other people.

I'm a hetero man who has been married twice. Is it really true men need women to make doctor's appointments and maintain relationships, etc.. Neither of my wives did this stuff for me. My male friends who remained single seemed to get along fine.

Marriage can be very challenging. It's hard to believe men are getting married and remarried because they can't take care of themselves. How did they survive nefore getting married?
Of course, I have no experience dating men so maybe I'm missing something?

I would say that unless men want children, marriage is not such a great deal for them either. Traditional women's tasks (e.g., cooking, cleaning, etc.) can be easily outsourced nowadays with meal prep if you don't like cooking, takeout, no-iron shirts, laundry, weekly cleaning service. Sex too is pretty accessible without marriage.

How many birthdays have you planned for your kids?

PP here. Wife does most of the birthday parties. But I've also done most of the buying food and cooking for Thanksgiving and Christmas, organized and took the kids on vacation without my wife, found summer jobs for the kids, found camps for the kids, coached the kids in youth sports, found a school for our special needs kid among other things.