Anonymous wrote:What is with the tiktoks of new moms over explaining absolutely everything to supposed inlaws and grandparents? If my daughter ever spoke to me in that condescending "you're an idiot" manner I'm not sure how I would respond.

So the way I handled it with my Boomer parents is acknowledging that technology has changed in the 35 years since they had had small children (like we have a picture of baby me sitting in the car seat and it literally looks like a bucket with straps on it) and then the 30 years when they were babies and car seats did not exist.


The first time they watched her overnight I gave them an extremely elaborate schedule. They thought it was doing too much and just took her to the zoo and then learned the hard way what happens when a 17-month-old doesn't get her scheduled naps and snacks and has a cranky
meltdown

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

Yeah I remember when my babies were little and I would get called Mama a lot and I just wanted to be like I am their child's mother. I am not your mother

Anonymous wrote:Most annoying part?

Women losing their identity and motherhood now being this all encompassing identity.

A decade ago these same women had social lives that didn’t involve kids, jobs, hobbies and interests. Now everything is about being a mom and then will be blindsided when their kids grow up.

100%. Look, I've definately seen this go too far to the other side, where women are going out and traveling like they're 23, and the nanny just watches the kids the whole time, and that's not obviously not great.

However, there are definitely women like you mention, that think if you're not devoting 500% of your mental, phyical and emotional energy to being a mom, and you want to have any kind of outside interest, there's something wrong with you.

Anonymous wrote:• Instagram reels highlighting some counter cultural way to raise kids as a way to become an influencer seem to have replaced Facebook groups.
• a new parents group I was in through the hospital I delivered at had a large emphasis on the term “chest feeding” and reminding all participants that “mom” is an outdated and potentially hurtful term. (Honestly I’m pretty open minded but this group was too much for me)

Omg, this! Men truly can’t let us have anything for ourselves.

What is with the tiktoks of new moms over explaining absolutely everything to supposed inlaws and grandparents? If my daughter ever spoke to me in that condescending "you're an idiot" manner I'm not sure how I would respond.

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating. Bring it on.

As an educator, I am thinking about packing up my calculator the day the Gently Parented Kids come into my classroom.

Run

Anonymous wrote:1) Safety at all costs. Obviously it’s our job to keep our children safe, but I have to wonder how many kids are going to grow up with crippling anxiety because their parents taught them that normal childhood experiences are unsafe. Or kids that haven’t been allowed any independence because their parents were too fearful to give it to them.
2) gentle parenting. Too many kids going through life without consequences.

DH and I came home last night at 9:30ish from a birthday date, and there were neighborhood kids running around the street playing. Our oldest 17 yo DS was watching our 8 yo son, and I said “I sure hope that is not our Larlo…”. (It was not). But then I thought, in summers I played outside until 10 when I was that age. And those kids were not in front of screens….

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't watch social media, but it can't be worse than whatever people were being fed by the church or the neighborhood moms or whoever else in before times.

Honestly I think moms just get PPA/D and so they're always going to latch onto some weird stuff. I doubt there's ever been a period where all the new moms were super chill, because I think it's biological.

It’s worse because of the sheer volume. I can open Instagram and find dozens of mom influencers who make a living pretending to be perfect and shilling products or courses that will help you be more like them . I find them morbidly fascinating and I can see how someone less confident or more susceptible would feel bad in comparison.

Social media is toxic.

You will have a happier life without any Social at all.

You might even interact with real people more. Like, in person.

Most annoying part?

Women losing their identity and motherhood now being this all encompassing identity.

A decade ago these same women had social lives that didn’t involve kids, jobs, hobbies and interests. Now everything is about being a mom and then will be blindsided when their kids grow up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

Oh and +1 when I told my mother this she was appalled. When she had her children it was considered super casual to call patients by their first names— doctors and nurses called her Mrs. _________

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

I tolerate it when it’s a pediatric nurse saying something like “Mom, could you hold her against your chest this way for a shot”— it’s unprofessional as heck but I understand the patient is my kid and relative to her I am Mom. If a teacher or childcare provider did so I would correct once and report/complain at a second occuranxe.

Anonymous wrote:I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

I don't remember my OB doing this but pediatricians, teachers, and childcare providers will often do that-- just call me Mom instead of my name. I don't like it. I assume it's done to avoid having to remember it look up people's names? I find it irritating though. No one ever called my mom "Mom" except her own children, which is how it's supposed to be.

I think the weirdest thing was from the moment of becoming pregnant, people in the medical field feeling entitled to call me “mom” or “mama”. I immediately shut it down in my OB practice when I switched (my original OB was older and very professional and would never have allowed it in her practice).

The baby isn’t here. You’re not treating the baby. I’m your patient and I have a first name, or you may call me Ms. Surname, but I am not “Mama” to you, and if I was, I would have raised you better.

Anonymous wrote:I have four kids born in 2015, 2018, 2021, and 2023. Hands down, the weirdest change has been the way the term "pregnant people" has almost totally replaced "pregnant women" on health websites and medical resource. When I googled pregnancy stuff and ended up on WebMD or Healthline, etc., for the first two pregnancies "pregnant women" was the default then it flip flopped by 2023. Feels very Orwellian to me.

Also, I don't get the popularity of Miss Rachel. I find her voice extremely annoying.

It's totally orwellian. There's something deeply messed up about someone claiming they are a man, going off of testosterone and trying to get pregnant, and then going back to being a "man".

Sometimes you see evidence of failed "find replace" on these site, where a misspelled word, eg "mother", was never replaced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most annoying thing is people ascribing a gender to their baby based solely on their perceived biological sex.

The most annoying this is people confusing gender and sex, and saying things like "assigned male at birth". No dummy, that's biology.

What?! I paid out of pocket for the best OB I could find who I heard had a 80% success rate at being able to assign female at birth. I really wanted a girl, and this OB assured me he could assign female at birth, and he did! Did I get scammed??