Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The olds’ hypocrisy of “The man proposes with a diamond ring on bended knee after getting permission from her father” but “I am a proud feminist” simply cannot die off soon enough.
Gag.
Has any of the women here who expects a ring identifiex herself as a feminist?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because to them it's acceptable. If none of the parties care about rings and proposals why should they go ahead with it? It sounds like you are the one with the problem.
I know they find it acceptable. That's the point. It's sad they're ok with it.
Anonymous wrote:So like no diamond engagement ring ever?
Just a question and start planning?
I suppose that’s how how lots of the world does it and then just wears wedding bands once married.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He didn't get a ring. I didn't want a ring. He built me a greenhouse, which is far more meaningful for me
We also just agreed to get married.
worry less about other people's relationships and focus on your own.
I am seriously jealous of your greenhouse! That is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
Rings are BORING.
Lol! I love it, and it really reflected how well he knew me. I get more use out of it than I would have out of a ring. I have nothing against rings, or women who want them, it's just not me.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of cool girls here. Men play the field if they can and are generally less concerned with commitment than women are. A man proposing and giving you a ring is letting you know they want to commit to you and that you're not only for a fun time. Men that don't propose with a ring don't value their partners as much. OP is right in being concerned.
My now husband dated other women before me and he wasn't really into marriage until he met me. I knew he wanted me for the long run because he planned a very romantic proposal and he's been keeping up with this after marriage. He provides for me and our children. I don't have to come home stressed out to a bunch of chores because he takes care of the financial aspects. My friends who agreed to an "equal" marriage ditching all traditions have to work and raise kids because their husbands don't make enough money or refuse being the breadwinners.
I think you dated very different men than I did. My DH was all in on our relationship. I never once thought "well if there's no ring, he's probably still shopping around." He wasn't. We bought a house together before we got married. Put your names down on a 400k mortgage and then tell me you need a freaking diamond to prove he's not still "playing the field."
If you date serious people who are adults, you don't need them to prove that they care about you by buying you a piece of jewelry.
Anonymous wrote:My sister and another friend got "engaged" recently. None of them had rings and in the case of my sister, there was not even a proposal, just her and the guy agreeing on a date to get married later this year. I feel like it sets the bar very low for their partners and it's not something women should be ok with. My husband too popped the question without one and it felt incredibly informal, as if he wasn't serious about getting married. I told him that a ring was important to me and he popped the question again a week later with a ring.
A ring doesn't even need to be expensive, there are many cute rings for less than $500. It's the symbolism behind it that's important. It doesn't seem that my friend and sister are being taken seriously by their men, but they look like they're ok with it which is baffling. Women should stop pretending to be cool girls and set higher standards for their partners.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DH told me he loved me and wanted to marry me pretty early on. It didn’t feel formal until he had a ring.
If they have a date, that is more important than an actual ring. In some lower SES, people seem to be engaged forever and never have a wedding. It feels the guy gave the woman a ring and is not actually committed or wants to get married.
DCUM never fails to deliver its grain of subtle sexism wrapped up in elitism. If marriage doesn't happen it's because the man decided it this way. Women all want to get married have no say over a marriage not happening. And of course, no engagement has failed in higher SES. Every relationship there always goes as planned.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He didn't get a ring. I didn't want a ring. He built me a greenhouse, which is far more meaningful for me
We also just agreed to get married.
worry less about other people's relationships and focus on your own.
I am seriously jealous of your greenhouse! That is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
Rings are BORING.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He didn't get a ring. I didn't want a ring. He built me a greenhouse, which is far more meaningful for me
We also just agreed to get married.
worry less about other people's relationships and focus on your own.
I am seriously jealous of your greenhouse! That is one of the most romantic things I've ever heard.
Rings are BORING.
Anonymous wrote:The olds’ hypocrisy of “The man proposes with a diamond ring on bended knee after getting permission from her father” but “I am a proud feminist” simply cannot die off soon enough.
Gag.
Anonymous wrote:Lots of cool girls here. Men play the field if they can and are generally less concerned with commitment than women are. A man proposing and giving you a ring is letting you know they want to commit to you and that you're not only for a fun time. Men that don't propose with a ring don't value their partners as much. OP is right in being concerned.
My now husband dated other women before me and he wasn't really into marriage until he met me. I knew he wanted me for the long run because he planned a very romantic proposal and he's been keeping up with this after marriage. He provides for me and our children. I don't have to come home stressed out to a bunch of chores because he takes care of the financial aspects. My friends who agreed to an "equal" marriage ditching all traditions have to work and raise kids because their husbands don't make enough money or refuse being the breadwinners.
Anonymous wrote:He didn't get a ring. I didn't want a ring. He built me a greenhouse, which is far more meaningful for me
We also just agreed to get married.
worry less about other people's relationships and focus on your own.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP - I feel sorry for you that your relationship with your DH was so tenuous during your dating period that you didn't think he was serious without a ring. A lot of us had stronger partnerships in dating than that. Maybe that explains your perspective; that your boyfriend/now DH was lukewarm towards you.
OP here. I'm really sorry that your partner didn't respect you enough to propose or to buy you a ring. My relationship with him before marriage was fine.