Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many people on here thinking if you have a man who does chores and doesn’t cheat, you better hang on to him for dear life no matter what. Is it 1955?

Where are all these endlessly interesting, attractive, fit, rich, intelligent 40 something year old men who are eager to have a committed relationship with a woman with school aged kids and custody issues? They are probably hanging out with 25 year olds looking for a good time.

Anonymous wrote:So many people on here thinking if you have a man who does chores and doesn’t cheat, you better hang on to him for dear life no matter what. Is it 1955?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, grow up. What do you think marriage is for? It’s for exactly what you’re doing now. Not for excitement, newness, novelty, or even good sex. Marriage is for long term stability.

Maybe when you turn 70 but not in your 40s. Wow some of you all are just fine with settling with unfulfilled lives.

Surprise. You're about to reach the age where many of your friends and family will be hit with life altering illnesses- breast/colon/prostate/ovarian cancers, autoimmune and heart issues. See what those do to your sex life.

Yes, we should all stay in unhappy marriages just in case this happens. Great advice.

Just saying that those of us dealing with this find complaints from people about the intensity of their sex lives a little off base.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, grow up. What do you think marriage is for? It’s for exactly what you’re doing now. Not for excitement, newness, novelty, or even good sex. Marriage is for long term stability.

Maybe when you turn 70 but not in your 40s. Wow some of you all are just fine with settling with unfulfilled lives.

Surprise. You're about to reach the age where many of your friends and family will be hit with life altering illnesses- breast/colon/prostate/ovarian cancers, autoimmune and heart issues. See what those do to your sex life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, grow up. What do you think marriage is for? It’s for exactly what you’re doing now. Not for excitement, newness, novelty, or even good sex. Marriage is for long term stability.

Maybe when you turn 70 but not in your 40s. Wow some of you all are just fine with settling with unfulfilled lives.

Surprise. You're about to reach the age where many of your friends and family will be hit with life altering illnesses- breast/colon/prostate/ovarian cancers, autoimmune and heart issues. See what those do to your sex life.

Yes, we should all stay in unhappy marriages just in case this happens. Great advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, grow up. What do you think marriage is for? It’s for exactly what you’re doing now. Not for excitement, newness, novelty, or even good sex. Marriage is for long term stability.

Maybe when you turn 70 but not in your 40s. Wow some of you all are just fine with settling with unfulfilled lives.

Surprise. You're about to reach the age where many of your friends and family will be hit with life altering illnesses- breast/colon/prostate/ovarian cancers, autoimmune and heart issues. See what those do to your sex life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me when there is a thread posted like this and so many basically respond with something along the lines of “this is life-learn to live with it”. You guys realize we only have one life right? Who the heck wants to be miserable?

For the record, I am staying in my non filling marriage until my youngest goes to college in a few years. My kids are happy and I don’t want to uproot their lives when I have plenty of friends and interests and a great job to distract me. But I cannot tell you how excited I am to have my freedom soon. But I’m not willing to deal with custody stuff and the kids having to be back and forth. I am willing to wait a few years for it to be a simpler transition for everyone. That being said-I fantasize about how my life will change all the time.

Nobody deserves to be miserable, OP. You will be happier and HE will be happier because he can just be happy go he is with someone forcing him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do. All the posters suggesting you have a conversation with him where you basically say “we do this or I’m leaving” don’t seem to understand what it feels like when someone does something because they are being forced rather than because they want to. Nobody wants that.

OP-you deserve happiness. We all do. And I’m so sick of the commentary about how spouses can’t make you unhappy. They most certainly can.

Your first and second paragraph contradict each other. Lol

This is life because you are making these sacrifices for your kids. If they end up unhappy in divorce, OP would still be unhappy, so staying is still the best decision for her happiness.

If OP was childless, different story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’ll be happier when you start dating, but the sadness will kick in when the guys you date end up disappointing you, or when you see your kids struggle with divorce.

Counterpoint: mom has tried for years now. The kids also deserve a happy and vibrant mother, especially if they have a depressed father.

Yes but the key point, as several have now mentioned, is whether she can envision being happy and vibrant without another long-term partner. It's a risk she needs to decide whether she's willing to take.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, grow up. What do you think marriage is for? It’s for exactly what you’re doing now. Not for excitement, newness, novelty, or even good sex. Marriage is for long term stability.

Maybe when you turn 70 but not in your 40s. Wow some of you all are just fine with settling with unfulfilled lives.

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to threaten to separate unless he treats his depression. Having a depressed parent is not healthy for your kids, either.

Anonymous wrote:It never ceases to amaze me when there is a thread posted like this and so many basically respond with something along the lines of “this is life-learn to live with it”. You guys realize we only have one life right? Who the heck wants to be miserable?

For the record, I am staying in my non filling marriage until my youngest goes to college in a few years. My kids are happy and I don’t want to uproot their lives when I have plenty of friends and interests and a great job to distract me. But I cannot tell you how excited I am to have my freedom soon. But I’m not willing to deal with custody stuff and the kids having to be back and forth. I am willing to wait a few years for it to be a simpler transition for everyone. That being said-I fantasize about how my life will change all the time.

Nobody deserves to be miserable, OP. You will be happier and HE will be happier because he can just be happy go he is with someone forcing him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do. All the posters suggesting you have a conversation with him where you basically say “we do this or I’m leaving” don’t seem to understand what it feels like when someone does something because they are being forced rather than because they want to. Nobody wants that.

OP-you deserve happiness. We all do. And I’m so sick of the commentary about how spouses can’t make you unhappy. They most certainly can.