Anonymous wrote:My teen got caught sneaking out over break. I would love to find ways to prevent this. We already have ring cams but nothing was picked up. Not sure if he looped it or went a window.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
They get old phones from friends - I found out my daughter was lending out her old iPhone 8 to friends when they got their phones taken or heavily restricted by parents. It has a cracked screen so we never traded it in and was in a drawer as back up in case someone at home lost a phone. She said a lot of kids have an extra older phone (or parents do and didn’t keep track of it in a drawer like mine was) and then run it on Wi-Fi hotspots, mostly for Snapchat. Ugh
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
They get old phones from friends - I found out my daughter was lending out her old iPhone 8 to friends when they got their phones taken or heavily restricted by parents. It has a cracked screen so we never traded it in and was in a drawer as back up in case someone at home lost a phone. She said a lot of kids have an extra older phone (or parents do and didn’t keep track of it in a drawer like mine was) and then run it on Wi-Fi hotspots, mostly for Snapchat. Ugh
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
A burner phone is $20
With data and internet? For how long?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
A burner phone is $20
With data and internet? For how long?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
A burner phone is $20
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Most teens are not thieves. So if they don't work, they are getting the money from their parents or grandparents. I can assure you my unemployed teens don't have enough money for burner phones. And if they did, they'd blow it on Lululemon and Sephora instead anyway.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
How do kids vape, do drugs, drink, eat out at locations, shop etc….
Teens have ways to get money
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones
Not if they don't have jobs.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I just trust my kids. If they haven’t given me a reason to think they are misbehaving, I trust them. I don’t track them.
I am the OP. I have lost trust in my 15yr old when I sensed something was off and did a deep dive on their phone. That is the problem. So when they got their phone back after 2 weeks, of course I am going to track them, which we always had as a family and I rarely looked at. But it sounds like kids are hacking life 360 to sneak out, leave school for lunch, staying after school, etc… so I just wanted to be one up on it. They also get around ring cameras.
They can already not do sleepovers and to the person that said check their bed at 3am every night, thank you. Caught again last night after coming home at 11:00pm, even when life 360 said they were home. So punished and loss of phone again.
And for those judging. I am trying. We live in a normal 4 person two parent home and my 17yr old is nothing like this. We are pretty flexible and never helicopterish. This is a new friend group and it’s been hell since Sept.
Op this is more than a phone problem.
1. Get kid in therapy.
2. Change kids school or homeschool. 3. No more of that friends group. Escort kid to all activities. Enroll kid in sport/hobby/skill at least three nights a week. Quit your job if you have to.
This is the critical drug/alcohol period. Your kid needs you. Yes they will hate you. In ten years they will thank you.
OP here
They are in therapy and on a new medication as of a month ago
Trying to get them away from the friend group but they are also in their school
I can’t switch schools. It wouldn’t matter.
They are in a club sport that starts Jan until July so hopeful that will help. Will be with team a lot.
I hate taking away phone but it’s what needed to happen.
I work from home PT. I am the driver almost all the time. The biggest thing was taking away sleepovers.
Thanks for the suggestions - honestly.
You don’t even have to take the phone. Just disconnect the service. Turn it off. Period.
Most kids get burner phones