Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

Of course. But equating "I can't find a house that satisfies the my litany of preferences for a price I can afford, which is $1m" with "We are priced out of the entire DC area with a $1m housing budget" is obnoxious and tone deaf. That's what people are reacting to. And OP still doesn't realize that, or have the grace to admit it. (And apparently, neither do you.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

The point is that you don't need to update a house to live in it. It is ok to have an outdated kitchen and bathrooms. It is ok to let some minor repairs go. Etc. There is a third option beyond sweat equity and professional remodel, and that is . . . do nothing, which is the cheapest and easiest option. But not if your ego is wrapped up in the look of your house.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not OP, but her preferences are what they are. All these snide posts about just wanting HGTV type house are tiresome. Some people are just not the “sweat equity” type. Neither DH nor I are handy so anything that needed immediate “sweat equity” was a no go. Our starter house was one that we thought oh we will do things over time, guess what, with the addition of kids and those expenses it never happened. Our second house needed to be turnkey. We did move further out (although we aren’t city people and were fine with that) to get everything on our must have list. People’s preferences are personal, and just because someone values things that you don’t doesn’t make them invalid.

Anonymous wrote:Here are some great options OP (all of which need no work):

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/5902-Piedmont-Dr-22310/home/9753542?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/6012-Mayfair-Ln-22310/home/9753406?from_mobile_app=true

https://www.redfin.com/VA/Alexandria/7205-Wickford-Dr-22315/home/9786991?from_mobile_app=true

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

You need to change your expectations. You make plenty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

$2,500 is a lot to spend on rent with your HHI when also trying to save to buy a house. Many of us explained to you that you chose not to scrimp and save earlier. That's how many of us in your situation afforded to buy the SFH. You want what other people have without making the sacrifices they made.

But the bigger point is that you can't afford what you want now because you can't go back in time and make different decisions. So if you want to buy a house now, then you either cut expenses (including rent) to save more, increase income, or reassess your criteria.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are early 40s, two kids, HHI 300k gross. We have a downpayment of 300k set aside but are only interested in single family homes that are not total teardowns. We are priced out and have stopped looking.

DH interviewed for a higher paying job this summer but didn't pass the second round. I'm earning the max I can earn with my qualifications. Kids in public school and we are renting right now.

Are we the only ones in this situation?

What do you consider a tear down?

A house that requires more than 100k of rehab work after purchase or cannot be rehabbed without being torn down to the foundation.

The realtor we looked at houses with showed us two of these. Then he told us to ask our parents for another 200k so he could put us into a house for 1.1.

We have credit scores over 800.

A big part of the problem is this expectation that everybody needs to spend $100k plus on a sparkling new kitchen and bathrooms, and let's redo the floors while we're at it.

Some of you need to learn to live with dated kitchen cabinets for a few or even 10 years. Splurge on a new stove if you want.

This. Buying a home (or in OP's case upgrading to a SFH) in a HCOL area requires either A) a lot of money or B) sacrifices. Renting a SFH was a poor decision, OP. You should have stayed in the condo and lived on a strict budget until you could afford to buy a SFH. If you're in your 40's now and you have kids, then you had years to figure this out and save.

I lived very cheaply with roommates and saved for a home. DH did the same. We each bought before we met. We lived in my home with dated everything and fixed it up as time and money allowed. We each bought a home, then got married, then had kids. You can switch the order of marriage and buying a home, but it's really hard to save for a SFH when you're paying for childcare and don't have a high HHI.

If you're really serious about buying a SFH, then you need to cut your costs to save more. Spending a lot on renting a SFH when your HHI is $300K and you already have kids makes it hard to save for a SFH.

I am paying 2.5k/month in rent and have no debt. Did I cut expenses enough for you?

I'll try dog food for the family, too. That might help us save enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s interesting that OP claims to be priced out but hasn’t given any criteria other than “single family home”.

OP - what are you looking for? Bedrooms/baths, square footage, yard space, etc? You can absolutely afford homes in Kingstowne, south Alexandria, Hayfield, Springfield, Burke, Kings Park, Fairfax Station, Fairfax City. Can you afford a 4Bedroom in Vienna or Arlington, no, but you absolutely have options. All the neighborhoods above have SFH for under $1M, and with your down payment and income you should be able to afford a $700K mortgage. The house may not be updated, but not updated doesn’t make it a year down.

Some of these areas I have familiar with and have looked at but haven't found homes that don't need a ton of work yet. Prices are coming down on these types of homes in some of those areas, so I'm hopeful we will find something in the next year. Others I hadn't been too, so I will look into those, too. NoVa does seem to have more options that DC and MD for people at our income level with the downpayment that we have.