Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 19:21     Subject: My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

His uncle is in the music industry and is also successful. OP's son already has a leg up on a lot of people. In any industry, especially the entertainment/music circle, connections and who you know mean everything. It doesn't take much to graduate HS these days with good grades. My kid did the bare minimum and graduated from FCPS with a 3.1 GPA and is now at JMU school of music.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 18:03     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


You are a corporate cog with a hobby, stop projecting your fantasies on OP’s son.


And you’re a bitter person with no interests.


I have interests, I am simply not delusional or hypocritical. You have been filling 10 pages passionately advocating for this boy to f high school and college, while you work as a corporate cog to support your interest.


How am I delusional because I’m trying to pursue a passion?

How is it hypocritical for me to advocate a path I’ve seen be successful? Just because I didn’t chose it doesn’t mean I think it’s a crazy one to choose. I made my choice for reasons unrelated to the prospects of being a successful musician without going to college.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:58     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


You are a corporate cog with a hobby, stop projecting your fantasies on OP’s son.


And you’re a bitter person with no interests.


I have interests, I am simply not delusional or hypocritical. You have been filling 10 pages passionately advocating for this boy to f high school and college, while you work as a corporate cog to support your interest.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:45     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?


Because that’s a loser, dead end mentality.

Music took a backseat during college and the first 15 years or so of my career. Then I decided to try to make a shift, so I took a flexible job where I can spend more time on music.

I’m in two bands and between them, I gig nearly every weekend. I’m not expecting to become famous. I’d like to make enough to pull my weight in my family.

My dad spent 30 years as an insurance lawyer before coming back to piano. Now he runs a jazz trio that played NYE at Per Se in NYC. They each made $1,000 for one evening. If he can do it at 65, why can’t I do it at 36?


There is only one NYE per year. The fact that you need a job to support your passion should be clue enough that you will not be able to make a living out of it. Your dad is pursuing his passion in retirement, after he had a cushy life and cushy nest egg.


Do you know me? Have you heard me play?

No.

Then stop making assumptions.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:44     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


You are a corporate cog with a hobby, stop projecting your fantasies on OP’s son.


And you’re a bitter person with no interests.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:44     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?


Because that’s a loser, dead end mentality.

Music took a backseat during college and the first 15 years or so of my career. Then I decided to try to make a shift, so I took a flexible job where I can spend more time on music.

I’m in two bands and between them, I gig nearly every weekend. I’m not expecting to become famous. I’d like to make enough to pull my weight in my family.

My dad spent 30 years as an insurance lawyer before coming back to piano. Now he runs a jazz trio that played NYE at Per Se in NYC. They each made $1,000 for one evening. If he can do it at 65, why can’t I do it at 36?


So you regret the choice you made earlier to not prioritize music. I assume you backseated music for whatever, probably because you valued family or stability over the riskiness and unpredictability of a career as a music professional.

At least you're honest about the fact that you're not aiming to be famous, but you're the one who used the phrase "big break." It sounds like you hope to eke a living making somewhere between $50-$80,000 as a professional musician.

Good luck. I imagine there's a time limit on that too. Will you be playing professionally until the age of retirement? Or will you then try to flip back to your pre-music career?


Nope, there’s no time limit on it. I’ll keep my day job until or unless I make enough to do music full time. For me—and most musicians—that’s how we define big break.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:43     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


You are a corporate cog with a hobby, stop projecting your fantasies on OP’s son.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:38     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?


Because that’s a loser, dead end mentality.

Music took a backseat during college and the first 15 years or so of my career. Then I decided to try to make a shift, so I took a flexible job where I can spend more time on music.

I’m in two bands and between them, I gig nearly every weekend. I’m not expecting to become famous. I’d like to make enough to pull my weight in my family.

My dad spent 30 years as an insurance lawyer before coming back to piano. Now he runs a jazz trio that played NYE at Per Se in NYC. They each made $1,000 for one evening. If he can do it at 65, why can’t I do it at 36?


There is only one NYE per year. The fact that you need a job to support your passion should be clue enough that you will not be able to make a living out of it. Your dad is pursuing his passion in retirement, after he had a cushy life and cushy nest egg.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:38     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?


Because that’s a loser, dead end mentality.

Music took a backseat during college and the first 15 years or so of my career. Then I decided to try to make a shift, so I took a flexible job where I can spend more time on music.

I’m in two bands and between them, I gig nearly every weekend. I’m not expecting to become famous. I’d like to make enough to pull my weight in my family.

My dad spent 30 years as an insurance lawyer before coming back to piano. Now he runs a jazz trio that played NYE at Per Se in NYC. They each made $1,000 for one evening. If he can do it at 65, why can’t I do it at 36?


So you regret the choice you made earlier to not prioritize music. I assume you backseated music for whatever, probably because you valued family or stability over the riskiness and unpredictability of a career as a music professional.

At least you're honest about the fact that you're not aiming to be famous, but you're the one who used the phrase "big break." It sounds like you hope to eke a living making somewhere between $50-$80,000 as a professional musician.

Good luck. I imagine there's a time limit on that too. Will you be playing professionally until the age of retirement? Or will you then try to flip back to your pre-music career?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:32     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?


Because that’s a loser, dead end mentality.

Music took a backseat during college and the first 15 years or so of my career. Then I decided to try to make a shift, so I took a flexible job where I can spend more time on music.

I’m in two bands and between them, I gig nearly every weekend. I’m not expecting to become famous. I’d like to make enough to pull my weight in my family.

My dad spent 30 years as an insurance lawyer before coming back to piano. Now he runs a jazz trio that played NYE at Per Se in NYC. They each made $1,000 for one evening. If he can do it at 65, why can’t I do it at 36?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:20     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?


Why not?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:19     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?


Why?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:19     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.


Then you've made your choice professionally. Isn't it time to accept that and just treat music as a hobby or creative outlet instead of holding out hope for your big break in your late 30s and early 40s?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:14     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.


No can do. I make $160K as a VP at a major financial institution.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 17:05     Subject: Re:My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would like to point out that pursuing a career in the performing arts does not mean you have to bypass college.

Lupita N'yongo is an A-list actress. She graduated from Yale. Charlie Puth is a successful pop musician and he graduated from the Berklee College of Music.

Pursuing a career in music or film/TV doesn't mean you can't do college. And college can be a useful stepping stone as in the two examples I just shared.

Teens have very limited, narrow mindsets about the path to success and what it looks like.


Yes, but it’s also true that college is by no means necessary and if a teenager says that, it doesn’t mean they have a limited, narrow mindset about the path to success.


College is not necessary for success in life. True. But people who have college degrees have higher odds and rates of successful outcomes. Not being able to recognize that and insisting that the only way to be successful is by avoiding or dropping out of college is a limited viewpoint. For every success story, there are countless people who dropped out or bypassed college and are barely scraping by. We have to stop romanticizing this pathway. It leaves behind a lot of damaged, broken and failed people.


For rock music in particular, I’m not convinced that’s true. If you can prove otherwise, please link to it.

We’re not talking about life in general here. We’re talking about rock music for a kid OBSESSED with it, like OP’s son.


I posted a list of 25 notable rock musicians who got degrees. At best, even if college is not necessary, it's not like getting a college degree has stopped anyone from being a rock star. If it's meant to be, it will be.


If it means giving up a spot in a successful band, it can set someone back. Tons of musicians get their start in their late teens/early 20s. That’s a sweet spot.

Why do think so many musicians either didn’t go to college or dropped out?


And so many musicians look back and regret that they didn't educate themselves because they realized they were taken advantage of in the music business because they lacked education.

You guys have to stop selling the myth that dropping out of school or skipping college in pursuit a career in music is peaches and creams. There are risks and tradeoffs to both approaches. You pick your poison and live with the consequences.


I would never say it’s peaches and cream. Far from it. And making sure you have trusted people helping you is huge.

But if you want to try to make it, hiding in college until you’re 22 could actually hurt you. You’re missing out on important years of gigging and networking.

A good number of the prominent musicians with degrees got them during or after their bands’ success.


Are you a 40 year old dude still gigging and networking and waiting for your big break?


I’m a 36 year old woman with a day job who is gigging and networking and waiting for my big break. You can call it pathetic all you want. I don’t care.


Ok, I’ll have a tall cappuccino then.