Anonymous
08/22/2023 14:16
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Depends on the specialty. The cons I’ve noticed are that many have inflexible schedules and limited leave. Like, can’t get the day after Thanksgiving off, can’t get 2 weeks off at Xmas etc.
This^. Most wives are like single mums, if high earner themselves then they just delegate child raising and household management. Most keep their nannies to get kids ready, drive them to schools/tutoring/doctor/dentist/therapy/etc and do house management duties while kids are away, for example, shopping, watching maid/repairman, bill payment, mail/packages, etc .
Anonymous
08/22/2023 14:10
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Not every doc is a busy surgeon working every waking hour, there are retired, part time, LOCUMS, derms, pathologists, researchers, radiologists etc who can be as flexible as they want if earning money isn't the main purpose of life.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 14:09
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Apparently, posting on DCUM and perfecting the art of lying.
Now I'm curious. What about this bothers you so much?
There is obviously something wrong with the pp, not the doctors. Anyone can know different specialties have different demands. We know surgeons who operate only 1 day per week. Some work only 4 days total. Dermatologists have better hours than most professionals. ER and anesthesiologists do shift work.
My husband operates 3 days per week and out of 5 days per work week, he is home for dinner 4x. Usually he has one late day and even on that day, he can pick up kids from sports on his drive home.
Agreed. This thread isn't (or at least has become not) about the actual facts of the matter for the life of a doctor, and those he or she lives with.
It's about resentment, whether secondary to envy, or grudges, or what have you. It's about trying to insult people and take them down a peg or two. Which, whatever, that's DCUM. Unfortunately for those who resent physicians, dithering around cand carping on an anonymous thread doesn't change anything in the real world, and it's the real world where all their problems lie.
So it goes. Life moves on, and there always are more patients to see, as well as home life to live.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 14:07
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Physician jobs vary a lot depending on specialty and the individual position. Some enable a balanced lifestyle while others clearly do not.
This^. Also depends on people themselves.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 14:03
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Apparently, posting on DCUM and perfecting the art of lying.
Now I'm curious. What about this bothers you so much?
There is obviously something wrong with the pp, not the doctors. Anyone can know different specialties have different demands. We know surgeons who operate only 1 day per week. Some work only 4 days total. Dermatologists have better hours than most professionals. ER and anesthesiologists do shift work.
My husband operates 3 days per week and out of 5 days per work week, he is home for dinner 4x. Usually he has one late day and even on that day, he can pick up kids from sports on his drive home.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:51
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Pp again. My surgeon husband is the athlete and very much involved in our kids sports. He is ortho and I think every single one of his colleagues was some sort of athlete. DH didn’t play college sports but he played multiple varsity sports in high school and still enjoys playing and watching sports.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:49
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Apparently, posting on DCUM and perfecting the art of lying.
Now I'm curious. What about this bothers you so much?
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:49
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?
Not anywhere near as glamorous as women think. The men change for the worse after their residency and fellowship(s) conclude.
DH’s hours are better and he is paid much more after training. How is this not better? We bought a new home. He is home for dinner most nights and he helps drive the kids to sports. We see many other physician parents do this just like any other profession.
Your eager comment(s) do not pass the smell test. People can make up anything they want on here, including lie about being married to doctors.
I’m not sure what is eager about my post. I was just saying it is like any other profession and he eats dinner with us and goes to sports. He didn’t change into some other person after training.
I really wonder what kind of people get triggered by other posters.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:41
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Apparently, posting on DCUM and perfecting the art of lying.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:36
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?
Not anywhere near as glamorous as women think. The men change for the worse after their residency and fellowship(s) conclude.
DH’s hours are better and he is paid much more after training. How is this not better? We bought a new home. He is home for dinner most nights and he helps drive the kids to sports. We see many other physician parents do this just like any other profession.
You write more like the mother of a male doctor, not the wife of one. He is amazing! Generous! Perfect! Dad of the year!
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:32
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?
Not anywhere near as glamorous as women think. The men change for the worse after their residency and fellowship(s) conclude.
DH’s hours are better and he is paid much more after training. How is this not better? We bought a new home. He is home for dinner most nights and he helps drive the kids to sports. We see many other physician parents do this just like any other profession.
Your eager comment(s) do not pass the smell test. People can make up anything they want on here, including lie about being married to doctors.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:20
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?
Not anywhere near as glamorous as women think. The men change for the worse after their residency and fellowship(s) conclude.
DH’s hours are better and he is paid much more after training. How is this not better? We bought a new home. He is home for dinner most nights and he helps drive the kids to sports. We see many other physician parents do this just like any other profession.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:11
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Obviously on paper an MD is a serious catch. Educated, fairly high to very high income (surgeons), community status and professional network. Any noteworthy looming issues or are MD wives generally a very satisfied cohort?
Not anywhere near as glamorous as women think. The men change for the worse after their residency and fellowship(s) conclude.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:05
Subject: What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My good friend is married to a surgeon. He's the most self-centered man I've ever met.
Yep. Neurotic, insufferable and awkward. They disregard properly cultivating their personalities because they were so focused on becoming doctors for 15 years. Many of them are mollycoddled momma’s boy who had a snow plow tiger mom doing everything for them until they were married. They in turn expect their wife to take over all of those duties. Grown *ss men who act like adult babies.
If a guy routinely works 60-70 hour weeks, his wife ought to take care of everything else, nitwit. That wife knew what the deal was when she married him.
I don't understand this. Both my wife and I work 60-80hrs/week each. When not working, we split childcare and house work.
If you are both working those hours, it’s doubtful there is much childcare left to split.
Children are not trophies.
We consider these hours mild and spend lots of time with our kids every day. Again, I don’t understand what you are talking about.
When exactly does this 60-80 hour week happen? Are you those annoying people who claim you are working from home when you’re actually doing childcare -those people who ruin it for everyone else? Or do you work during the school day and then all night?
We both work a normal work day and after kids go to sleep go back to work (evening WFH).
I see, you are a typical hot shot who barely clears 40 hours but claims to be working 80? Like Elon Musk who “sleeps at the office” but spends most of his time posting on Twitter? At least he does not say he spends tons of quality time with his kids
80 hour weeks is 13 working hours per day, 7 days a week.
We both used to work over 80 hrs per week. Now working 60-80 is pretty mild. I don’t understand you at all. Your math is also way off which is concerning.
I don’t really see how you do this either. We used to both work 80 hours a week during residency:
2 overnight calls: 30 hours (6am-noon)
1 long call: 12 hours (6am-6pm)
1 short call: 8 hours (6am-2pm)
1 day off
We had normal daycare hours and arranged our schedules so that we were never both on call at the same time. It was a lot. We had almost no social life and were always exhausted.
Not sure why this has so much interest.
M-F 8am - 5pm = 45hrs
M-F 8pm - 12am = 20hrs
Weekend work = variable 0-15hrs
Total = 65-80hrs
When are you eating, taking a shower, getting in a workout, going to the pediatrician and the dentist and mechanic, and paying your bills, and checking homework and school recitals and afterschool activities and researching summer camps etc etc etc and spending a ton of quality time with your kids. I worked in Finance and the guys working 80 hour weeks were bachelors or married with SAHM + tons of help, and barely saw their kids for dinner. Even with that many were doing Cocaine or Modafinil to keep up. I am sure you and your partner are special and not delusional.
Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
It’s not that interesting. It’s just that you say this isn’t a big deal, and then you give this schedule where you only sleep like 5 hours a night, and you do nothing but work and take care of your kids.
Sleep 6hrs/night, weekends mostly free, minimum 3-4hrs/day with kids. This is for two adults and flexible.
I think your schedule is fiction, but if not your life sounds absolutely miserable.
DP in a two-doctor couple and this is quite typical in the young kid years.
What are you doing as a doctor where you work 60+ hours a week, are off from 5-8pm every day, and have most weekends free?
Outpatient clinic is a good example. Writing notes and prepping charts in the evening.
Or academic medicine, doing admin or research related work in the evening.
Anonymous
08/22/2023 13:02
Subject: Re:What’s it like being married to a medical doctor (MD)?
Anonymous wrote:Wake up 6am. Kids don’t wake up until 7am so we have time then. Weekends are largely free. Rare appointments get scheduled.
Not sure why this is interesting.
NP. I think people keep responding because you aren’t being totally honest. If your kids wake at 7 and you have to be at work at 8, that doesn’t leave much time to spend with them. Same with finishing at the office at 5 - then you have commute time, maybe need to stop at the store or get gas, need to make dinner - so when is the ton of time you spend with your kids happening?
It sounds like you probably actually work more like 50 hours a week, and 60 when you are busy. There is no way you are working from 8 pm - 12 am on Friday, and you said yourself that weekends are largely free. So if you had not claimed in your initial post that you work 80 hours and still spend plenty of time with your kids, people would not have pushed back. We all know that you can’t work 80 hours a week and still spend tons of time with your kids (and I speak from experience).
In our case, we specifically work around family time and maximize evening WFH while kids are sleeping. Yes, this includes Friday evenings and weekend evenings. It allows us to spend more time with our kids. 60-80 is quite accurate.