Anonymous
08/10/2023 06:48
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Is way more informative.
My wife at school Mrs. Means she is married not a single or divorced mom.
Mrs. means my last name is not her maiden name. I am a different nationality than wife.
Mrs. means at a company party she is my wife. I also get invited places with my daughters so on invite they are Ms. or Miss. and wife Mrs.helps it be less confusing.
And what do they do about your unmarried son? How do people tell the difference between you (Mr Smith) and your son (Mr Smith) at company parties and when you are invited places with your son. Even worse, many families have a husband with a grandfather, father and son called Mr John Smith. How do others cope with the confusion?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 06:36
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.
When I got married in 2000, I was told to address envelopes this way. Even then I realized it was offensive. It feels like an invitation to a man and his extra appendage.
Told by who?
Couldn't you afford the ink to write both names?
What’s the other way to say it? Mr and Mrs John and Becky Smith?
Mrs and Mr Becky Smith.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 05:48
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.
Because that is what current etiquette says is the proper formal address and that is considered courteous to use.
It's not courteous if the wife never changed her name, and it's not current etiquette because it's not 1950 anymore.
Dp
I guess they didn't want to write out Mr. Bob Loblaw and Mrs. Larlina Pendergast and I don't blame them for a married couple. For Christmas cards it's easier to say Loblaw family but Loblaw-Pendergast family might be better unless nobody hyphenates, would that be a faux pas or acceptable? Loblaw and Pendergast family?
What is wrong with Mr Loblaw & Mrs Pendergast? Less letters than Loblaw and Pendergast family
For holiday cards you are sending it to the whole family and including their kids Blaine, Violetta and Thomas. You don't want to write all those names out so you say family.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 05:34
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and they call me everything. Mrs. Last Ms. Last Miss Last or just Miss. The only ones I’m not okay with are Mx or just my first name.
What is “Mx” ?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 05:32
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:I expect that none of the anti Mrs. glad have ever described another woman as hysterical.
Why not?
Anonymous
08/10/2023 05:30
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:haha - conservatives are so easy to get riled up
Nope. Nothing wrong with tradition.
Anonymous
08/10/2023 04:22
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
I’m very progressive and use Mrs. I just think Ms sounds bad with my last name. It’s 2 syllables, the Mrs sounds better with it. I forget to wear my rings half the time so I don’t care if anyone knows I’m married.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 23:01
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
I'm a physician but don't like people calling me doctor in social settings. I also have a father and a husband but I prefer people to call me by my own name, not their last names.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:55
Subject: Re:why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it, but then I’m an ardent feminist whose entire life has been focused around the consequences of male violence - first in a family of origin ‘led’ by a raging violent alcoholic bully and later in various adult roles as DV advocate, legal aid attorney , public defender and prosecutor working in the trenches with lives mired in the consequences of male violence.
I’ve been wanting to change my surname for many years now. I haven’t and won’t get married, and I don’t want to die with the name of the man who first abused me and my mother and siblings.
Any ideas for how an adult woman should choose a new surname? I’ve considered choosing a surname from family history, but I recognize that there is a high probability by that method I will choose the name of somebody’s else’s abuser.
Any ideas, let me know!
Your mom’s maiden name would work, no?
No, that name belongs to the man who abused my grandmother into fleeing her home and family and laid the ground work for my mother’s acceptance of my father’s abuse.
I briefly considered my grandmother’s maiden name, but while I never knew my great grandfather I can assume that he was quite possibly also a misogynist whose treatment of my great grandmother and grandmother led to my grandmother’s acceptant of her husband’s abuse for two decades. See it’s an endless cycle.
I appreciate the idea of honoring someone I’ve admired by choosing her name. But going that route could end me up with the name of another abuser - many of the women I’ve admired in my life were driven to their accomplishments as a reaction to toxic patriarchy at the micro or macro level.
It’s a conundrum for sure.
So my thought is you have completely re-branded the name of your abuser with your courage and success.
Its now been changed to a name with honor.
And like Jackie Chan said to the victorious kid at the end of Karate Kid movie sequel - "You Won".
Have you considered this?
I'm the guy who suggested choosing a name honoring someone you admire.
This is a very nice sentiment, and it is nice to hear from a good guy.
I still hate my father’s name because it’s difficult to pronounce and a name you can make a joke of, so I was bullied over it for years in school which is another reason it’s been my desire to offload it for decades. Getting stuck with a crap name from a crap dude is just unfair lol. I had really hoped to meet a good guy and take his name, but oh well.
I’ll figure something out.
Your crap father is not the actual origin of your surname. One person does not taint an entire family or their name.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:53
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m Gen X and prefer Ms. Mrs. is my MIL and always sounded weird. I don’t care what people use when they address me, but I’ll pick Ms. Out of a drop down list.
I pick Dr. And encourage my girls to circumnavigate the issue the same way.
I’m not calling you Dr. in person unless you are my professor or physician.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:32
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
I’m a teacher and they call me everything. Mrs. Last Ms. Last Miss Last or just Miss. The only ones I’m not okay with are Mx or just my first name.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:23
Subject: Re:why is mrs still a thing
I agree, OP, Mrs. is awful and should be erased from the lexicon. Women who want equality for women should unanimously support one social title for women.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:21
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Is way more informative.
My wife at school Mrs. Means she is married not a single or divorced mom.
Mrs. means my last name is not her maiden name. I am a different nationality than wife.
Mrs. means at a company party she is my wife. I also get invited places with my daughters so on invite they are Ms. or Miss. and wife Mrs.helps it be less confusing.
Hate to disappoint you, but this is not true. If I meet her for the first time, the only thing Mrs is telling me is that she got married at some point and changed her ladt name to her husband's name. If she then divorced and didn't change back to her maiden name, she isstill Mrs.
In the case of a divorced woman, "Mrs. Arthur Reynolds" is no longer an option. If she retains her former husband's last name (and many women do so that their surname will be the same as their children's) then Mrs. [or Ms.] Susan Reynolds is correct. If she reverts to her maiden name, Ms. is the correct title, as in "Ms. Susan Hughes."
PP. Exactly. Mrs. Reynolds at school could be either Mrs. Arthur Reynolds or Mrs. Susan Reynolds. So, when someone says Mrs. Reynolds at school, I have no idea whether she is currently married or divorced.
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:15
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: just got a wedding invitation from my cousin who is getting married for the first time in his 50s. I was addressed as
"Mr. and Mrs. (husbands name.)"
I am appalled.
When I got married in 2000, I was told to address envelopes this way. Even then I realized it was offensive. It feels like an invitation to a man and his extra appendage.
Told by who?
Couldn't you afford the ink to write both names?
What’s the other way to say it? Mr and Mrs John and Becky Smith?
Anonymous
08/09/2023 22:07
Subject: why is mrs still a thing
I expect that none of the anti Mrs. glad have ever described another woman as hysterical.