Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 22:48     Subject: Re:2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
I will continue living in my sfh in suburbs of dmv. As an immigrant,I feel that this is the best place in USA. My community is here. Maybe our kids will get jobs here? In any case, our home remains the home of my kids.

Eventually, we will take life as it comes. Nothing is set in stone.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 22:20     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:+1 on moving somewhere fun not far from an airport so adult kids & grandkids to visit. Buy a house with a couple extra bedrooms and a pool. Your adults kids will return, and you can celebrate holidays there.

My parents did this and are living their best life.


+1 although best if this place is actually close to at least one of your kids.

My two siblings and I all moved away from the city where we grew up. My parents kept our childhood home until my older sister and I had both settled in different areas and had our first babies. Then they picked the area of those that they preferred, moved to a 1-level 3-bdrm house in a lake/golf community with a lot of recreation amenities and had a great 15+ years there. They were very involved with my sister's family, the rest of us were happy to visit there including me bringing my kids for a couple weeks every summer. And my sister was there to help when health became a problem. Dad died two years ago and now Mom lives with my sister.

I would be happy to follow the same model.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 22:11     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
You people are really something else.

You move to the DC area because you have a single focus in your life – your high-powered career. You spend your entire life here focused on that, and when you do decide it’s time to fit some kids in you make damned sure they follow your single-minded footsteps and go off to the best bumper-sticker worthy college they can get into and off they go and never return. Then, once your all consuming career is over and your high achieving kids are long gone, you look around and tell yourself there is no community here and that this area is too transient for you to stick around.

Some of us haven’t structured our lives the way you did. So we do have a community here, and we have every reason to stick around.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 21:57     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
+1 on moving somewhere fun not far from an airport so adult kids & grandkids to visit. Buy a house with a couple extra bedrooms and a pool. Your adults kids will return, and you can celebrate holidays there.

My parents did this and are living their best life.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 21:47     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:4 years for us! Requirements (we haven't yet figured it out, but am watching this thread for ideas):
Blue state
Good medical care
Within 50 minutes of an International Airport
College town a plus, but not tiny college and not big state U
Would like to be on a natural lake, but not a deal breaker
4 seasons, ok if winters are miserable, we will head to Costa Rica or Puerto Rico for 2 months
Ok if summers are humid and miserable, we will head to Maine or Oregon for 2 months


Princeton, NJ (has Lake Carnegie which was person-made) close to Newark and Philly airport, easily get to NYC, beach, and has many different events (many public) b/c of the university. Nice restaurants, walk and bike able, McCarter Theater has great productions, train right there and has great hospitals. Cute downtown movie theater, bike and walking path along the lake. But taxes are $.

Also, I second Madison or Milwaukee, WI. Purple state, but cities are blue. Granted, winter is freezing and airports are easy to navigate and get through not not really international. Granted, you could take a flight from Milwaukee to Chicago and then to wherever you want to go.


What "hospitals" are you referring to in Princeton area as "great"? There is just one, in Plainsboro, and it just ok. You will need to go to north Jersey for great hospitals.


Penn Medicine is close-by and also Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick. Children's Hospital of Philadelphia has some services at Penn Medicine in Plainsboro too.

I guess hospitals aren't "great" anymore. Someone I know just had an awful experience at a top hospital in Boston.

I am saying easy to be seen and have good doctors.


Yeah there are great hospitals but those listed are ok not great (just because hospital was in Princeton for a long time and has affluent clientele doesn't mean anything) not trying to be sparky just saying don't move to that area just for the hospitals. The hospital center in Hamilton is good I think even though back in the day Hamilton had a reputation for being a lower class area. But otherwise great hospitals can be found in 1 to 1.5 hour radius. Central New Jersey however is extraordinarily safe and has beautiful neighborhoods and a highly educated population. Signed, someone who grew up there and has parents still in the area.


+1. I currently live in Central Jersey area and its so beautiful where I live that I always laugh at the reputation New Jersey has. Cream Ridge is so perfect for me, and although I live in a neighboring town I have a friend that just bought a home there and I am looking for one there myself. Oh...and Robert Wood Johnson is a wonderful hospital, and we also have easy access to New York City and Philadelphia Hospitals from where I live.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 21:24     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:We will have an condo/coop in nyc, likely on the park, probably the house we have now in rehoboth beach (presuming kids stay local), something in the Caribbean and a luxury condo wherever the kids live.


Hilarious.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 21:11     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:Home is wherever your nuclear family is located and resides most of the time, so it makes no matter where that might be.

If you aren't dependent on jobs or schools, have at it and live where you are happy, and where you find beauty. It depends on one's frame of reference what is beautiful. If one grew up next to the beach, then one is usually happy in and accustomed to that sort of setting. So be it.


So when does the nuclear family end? If children leave and go off on their own and you are no longer living under the same roof, isn’t it done? Or do they have to marry first? Or is it when they have children of their own?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 21:06     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.


I know many people who want to leave the DMV area-it can be a cold transient area. Some people get lucky(like yourself) and land in a neighborhood that is warm and wonderful... but I have more friends looking to leave the DMV area than those wanting to stay. The interesting part is they all have beautiful homes but still feel meh about living here. The weather doesn't help-you're far from the beach. I don't get not getting it.


DMV does have a more transient feel than other places I’ve lived in. A lot of people transfer here for jobs and transfer out a few years later. Sometimes it feels like we’re the place you go to build your career so you can go back and compete in the place you want to be.


It's not what I observe, and I am not even from here. I see a lot of older retired people remaining in their homes and not selling, some upgrade to bigger homes, others downsize, some buy second homes or condos elsewhere and live in family homes part time, but apparently people aren't all fleeing away. I also see kids coming back to visit during college and even moving back in after graduation. This might be a new trend due to higher COL that keeps only climbing up. Kids "flying away" and easily building lives elsewhere isn't a guarantee, it's probably they want to come back and move into the house they grew up in until they get up on their feet, and they seek jobs in the local area, and reunite with their school friends. I am seeing this happening just as much as young people moving out of state forever, empty-nester parents selling family home and moving to the retirement "pastures".


Yes it took us 2 years to buy a home in our target neighborhood because there is so little inventory. People stay in their homes for decades. The ones that sell either are going into assisted living/ downsizing, died, or are moving into a bigger house in a same or adjacent neighborhood. It doesn't feel transient at all.


+1 it was more transient in my 20s-early 30s as people were figuring out their lives. But, living in Arlington, I still know most of the families I got to know when my 1st kid started elementary school and he's now in college. Some moved away for a while (foreign service) but are now back. Also all but one family in a playgroup I joined when DS was a baby still live here and I see a couple of those friends regularly. A couple of my friends even grew up in Arlington. I like it here and DS wants to live in DC after college, although my younger child doesn't. So, I expect at least the first phase of empty nest/retirement will be here, but maybe in a different house.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 20:59     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.


I know many people who want to leave the DMV area-it can be a cold transient area. Some people get lucky(like yourself) and land in a neighborhood that is warm and wonderful... but I have more friends looking to leave the DMV area than those wanting to stay. The interesting part is they all have beautiful homes but still feel meh about living here. The weather doesn't help-you're far from the beach. I don't get not getting it.


DMV does have a more transient feel than other places I’ve lived in. A lot of people transfer here for jobs and transfer out a few years later. Sometimes it feels like we’re the place you go to build your career so you can go back and compete in the place you want to be.


It's not what I observe, and I am not even from here. I see a lot of older retired people remaining in their homes and not selling, some upgrade to bigger homes, others downsize, some buy second homes or condos elsewhere and live in family homes part time, but apparently people aren't all fleeing away. I also see kids coming back to visit during college and even moving back in after graduation. This might be a new trend due to higher COL that keeps only climbing up. Kids "flying away" and easily building lives elsewhere isn't a guarantee, it's probably they want to come back and move into the house they grew up in until they get up on their feet, and they seek jobs in the local area, and reunite with their school friends. I am seeing this happening just as much as young people moving out of state forever, empty-nester parents selling family home and moving to the retirement "pastures".


Yes it took us 2 years to buy a home in our target neighborhood because there is so little inventory. People stay in their homes for decades. The ones that sell either are going into assisted living/ downsizing, died, or are moving into a bigger house in a same or adjacent neighborhood. It doesn't feel transient at all.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 18:29     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Home is wherever your nuclear family is located and resides most of the time, so it makes no matter where that might be.

If you aren't dependent on jobs or schools, have at it and live where you are happy, and where you find beauty. It depends on one's frame of reference what is beautiful. If one grew up next to the beach, then one is usually happy in and accustomed to that sort of setting. So be it.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 18:25     Subject: Re:2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
What is "leaving home"? Going to college? Going for a 1st job after college? What if they want to come back?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 18:21     Subject: Re:2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
I don't have roots anywhere, moved around a lot since childhood. I never had a home I could return to that would be my "base", and provide shelter that would be more than crushing on a couch. I project that this is what kids may want even after they graduate, they want a home base, a place where they will always have a room and where they put down roots, have memories, etc. I do think kids who spend most of their school years in one place put down their own roots, and if we sell and move, then we cut their roots. The problem is that it may become costly to keep family homes these days with taxes, maintenance, repair costs going up, it's probably what eventually pushes people away. Those with money seem to keep their homes here and spend time in other locations, and share homes with their adult kids.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 18:09     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.


I know many people who want to leave the DMV area-it can be a cold transient area. Some people get lucky(like yourself) and land in a neighborhood that is warm and wonderful... but I have more friends looking to leave the DMV area than those wanting to stay. The interesting part is they all have beautiful homes but still feel meh about living here. The weather doesn't help-you're far from the beach. I don't get not getting it.


DMV does have a more transient feel than other places I’ve lived in. A lot of people transfer here for jobs and transfer out a few years later. Sometimes it feels like we’re the place you go to build your career so you can go back and compete in the place you want to be.


It's not what I observe, and I am not even from here. I see a lot of older retired people remaining in their homes and not selling, some upgrade to bigger homes, others downsize, some buy second homes or condos elsewhere and live in family homes part time, but apparently people aren't all fleeing away. I also see kids coming back to visit during college and even moving back in after graduation. This might be a new trend due to higher COL that keeps only climbing up. Kids "flying away" and easily building lives elsewhere isn't a guarantee, it's probably they want to come back and move into the house they grew up in until they get up on their feet, and they seek jobs in the local area, and reunite with their school friends. I am seeing this happening just as much as young people moving out of state forever, empty-nester parents selling family home and moving to the retirement "pastures".
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 17:32     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Rochester, NY
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2023 14:38     Subject: 2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.


I’ll explain it for you. For many of us DC is a company town and our relationships are mainly due to proximity. We are only spending time with these people because we have a job here and families we met through our kids. Once we no longer have a job or kids at home we won’t have a reason to spend any time with these people. They are perfectly nice but not a reason to stay here. Unfortunately you may have not figured out that a lot of people here are only friends with you during this stage of life because it’s convenient.

Also DC doesn’t really have any natural beauty and there are other parts of the country with better access to beaches, skiing, hiking etc. It sounds like you like to garden, but that is only one activity. The average retiree isn’t interested in visiting museums over and over again and DC isn’t known for its restaurants or shopping. It’s also expensive because of the job market and if you’re not longer working then why live here?

Plenty of retiree - especially dual income couples - have large retirement accounts and plenty of equity in their home if not a fully paid off home. If you had millions of dollars of practically guaranteed income, no mortgage and no kids here, would you really choose to live in Washington, dc? For most people that’s a hard NO.



SMH at “no natural beauty.” What about rock creek park and the Potomac and Anacostia? We hike, kayak, and bike. It’s very close to great hiking. People are delusional. I lived in CA and it was hours away to ski. An hour to the beach. Some driving is usually required.

People are usually astonished to find we live in the city and next to a series ooh hiking trails that are walkable.


But do you feel safe? I previously lived in the city and enjoyed local trails. Now I no longer feel safe and even with my DH it seems risky.


This. The crime got out of control with the school closures. Previously, I used to walk the RCP trails most days with my dog, but there's no way I'd go there alone on a weekday now.