Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:50     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?


OP said she already helped DS pick a watch out for his bride.


I haven't worn a watch in a decade - since I started carrying around an iPhone.


OP's son would know whether his fiancee would want a watch.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:44     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:I am hoping that when people say they don't want quilts, they mean store-purchased quilt.

There may be a legacy of hand-sewn quilts which have been in their family for generations, made by grandmothers or great grandmothers. The fabrics and embroidery may tell a story of the family's history. They are truly made with love, care and thought. Years ago, women may not have had the money for new fabrics so they used worn family clothing to build the quilt.

Not long ago, I was at a flea market and bought a beautiful hand-made/hand-stitched cotton quilt from a woman in her 70s whose mother had made it. She said no one in her family wanted it.

I happily told her it would be in a loving home, with me. It cost $20.


I mean any quilt. They look old fashioned. I do not live in a country home in Kentucky that was built in 1842. I don't believe in "country chic".
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:40     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?


OP said she already helped DS pick a watch out for his bride.


I haven't worn a watch in a decade - since I started carrying around an iPhone.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:40     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
OP said she likes to garden- I'd do a gift card do a local nursery and let her pick out some plants for the garden. Or perhaps something to plant to commemorate the wedding like trees? We did something similar when my grandfather died and planted his favorite type of tree where he liked to sit in the lawn.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:38     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Does she like orchids? There are so many varieties that you could find a special one and have it put in a pretty pot for her to enjoy for the week or repot in her garden.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:35     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
The women I know who say not to gift them jewelry mean it. They will not wear it and be annoyed you gave it to them. OP should run any ideas past her DS and see if he thinks they would appeal to his bride.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:25     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:I am hoping that when people say they don't want quilts, they mean store-purchased quilt.

There may be a legacy of hand-sewn quilts which have been in their family for generations, made by grandmothers or great grandmothers. The fabrics and embroidery may tell a story of the family's history. They are truly made with love, care and thought. Years ago, women may not have had the money for new fabrics so they used worn family clothing to build the quilt.

Not long ago, I was at a flea market and bought a beautiful hand-made/hand-stitched cotton quilt from a woman in her 70s whose mother had made it. She said no one in her family wanted it.

I happily told her it would be in a loving home, with me. It cost $20.


I inherited a handmade quilt from my great-great-grandmother that was handed to me from my mother. It is precious to me because of that. I do not have a daughter to give it to so I asked my son if he wanted it. He does because he understands its cultural significance. I do not use quilts in my house because I prefer modern comforters and duvets that can be machine washed regularly. I think I will have the heirloom quilt framed. Now if my MIL asked us if we wanted her family's quilt, we would decline because DH couldn't care less about family heirloom linens and I already have my family's. Ask first always.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:22     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:I would just give her a piece of jewelry based on the meaning/significance even though she doesn’t wear jewelry. I don’t really wear jewelry, but I still appreciate that I have some family heirloom-type pieces because they represent a meaningful connection.


Yes, start off her joining the family by demonstrating to her that you dismiss her individual preferences. Gifts are about you and your family, after all. Not her. She has no value as a person outside of her becoming a Smith.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:20     Subject: Re:Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I would just give her a piece of jewelry based on the meaning/significance even though she doesn’t wear jewelry. I don’t really wear jewelry, but I still appreciate that I have some family heirloom-type pieces because they represent a meaningful connection.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:17     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about some lovely lingerie? Every bride needs some


This is why Boomers need to really just stop.


That's a shower gift between women.


Boomer MIL: But *I’m* a woman! Surely DIL will want our family’s generational quilted Fertility Neglige. It still smells of Great Grandma Betty’s White Shoulders perfume!
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:16     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:I’m old fashioned (but not a Boomer - Gen X) and think that heavy Cranes stationery with “The Lastnames” on it would be nice, if they are sharing a name. Or their combined names, if that’s what they are doing.



Does she write letters? A lovely idea if she does but otherwise will go unused.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:15     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What about some lovely lingerie? Every bride needs some


This is why Boomers need to really just stop.


That's a shower gift between women.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:13     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:DH here, so maybe I’m way off base…. but how about offering to have her wedding dress professionally cleaned and sealed so it lasts and doesn’t deteriorate along with a nice handwritten note about whatever you want to say to her.


Because a lot of people are donating their dresses, sharing with family, or selling to consignment or sustainability geared bridal shops.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:11     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
Anonymous wrote:Rolex. Even if she doesn’t wear jewelry, she most certainly wears a watch?


OP said she already helped DS pick a watch out for his bride.
Anonymous
Post 07/03/2023 13:07     Subject: Wedding Gifts for future daughter in law
I’m old fashioned (but not a Boomer - Gen X) and think that heavy Cranes stationery with “The Lastnames” on it would be nice, if they are sharing a name. Or their combined names, if that’s what they are doing.