Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Yes and we are seeing the issues played out in STEM. You need downtime, time to get bored and figure out how to entertain yourself without help, are all necessary for engineering and other STEM fields. Kids are natural tinkerers and they don’t have enough time to truly dabble.

This isn’t a STEM issue. I grew up in the free play, go outside and entertain yourself era of the 80s and tinkering was never something I did and STEM was never a strength or an interest.

Yeah I think it's only a certain kind of kid who tinkers with stuff in their free time. The kids I know how are like this aren't really interested in sports. Not everyone who ends up in STEM was a tinkerer in childhood.

On the topic of not having downtime or time to get bored and figure out how to entertain yourself... with certain sports you actually do engage in some level of this. I was a swimmer and spent a lot of time staring at the black line on the bottom of the pool. You have to pay attention to what you're doing, but at the same time a lot of it is repetitive and automatic. I remember having a lot of time to think while I swam. I would come up with all kinds of ideas and would entertain myself by translating every thought I had into the language I was learning at the time. So I was definitely getting some cognitive benefits in addition to the exercise.

I realize team sports taking place on land don't really offer this type of quiet time. But I would bet a similar thing happens for cross country runners or other sports where there's a lot of repetition or waiting around alone?

My DD passed up a lot of HS stuff for tournaments but it was her choice and what she really wanted to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Travel sports are typically a couple practices a week and tournaments here and there. How much free time do you think a kid needs?

The ppl I know that have their kids in travel sports are far busier than that. It seems like it's a constant thing. As far as free time, when I was growing up alot of my time was free time. Aside from school/chores as was alot of kids I grew up with. Activities weren't a huge deal.

That is your perception of their life and probably not their reality.

While some free time is important for development, too much free time can also be a detriment.

I totally agree with the comment that this is your perception more than their reality. I have one kid in a very high intensity sport and one in a travel sport plus club swimming. They are "busy" with sports and give things up for their sports, but have plenty of time to just be kids. We coordinate birthday parties with close friends and they avoid missing them. We miss practices or games for important family events and make sure the kids have down time at home. While kids may occasionally be dragged to a siblings game, practice of event, they're not missing out on their own events for their sibling and they can use that time to play on a playground or read.

Is not a bad life for my kids and we're not making changes because other people wish we were available on their schedule.

For DS tournaments have been some of the most memorable part of his childhood - getting to do what he loves, bonding with teammates, forging lifelong friendships, getting to visit different cities and even states. We as parents have loved it as well. Some of our best friends now are other baseball parents.

Anonymous wrote:It’s one instance where he was lucky people had video which told a different story than the one she was portraying.

It’s almost like you need a consent video. There are a lot of cases where a woman does this for vengeance, attention or feels shame and says it was rape the next morning.

It ruins lives. It’s a no win because you don’t want to miss actual rape victims and make women afraid to come forward.

Yikes! Obviously this was for the Azaria thread.

It’s one instance where he was lucky people had video which told a different story than the one she was portraying.

It’s almost like you need a consent video. There are a lot of cases where a woman does this for vengeance, attention or feels shame and says it was rape the next morning.

It ruins lives. It’s a no win because you don’t want to miss actual rape victims and make women afraid to come forward.

My kid LOVES tournaments and chooses to skip birthday parties for a tournament. The tournament is another time to hang out with friends and not always about the sport or games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Travel sports are typically a couple practices a week and tournaments here and there. How much free time do you think a kid needs?

The ppl I know that have their kids in travel sports are far busier than that. It seems like it's a constant thing. As far as free time, when I was growing up alot of my time was free time. Aside from school/chores as was alot of kids I grew up with. Activities weren't a huge deal.

That is your perception of their life and probably not their reality.

While some free time is important for development, too much free time can also be a detriment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Travel sports are typically a couple practices a week and tournaments here and there. How much free time do you think a kid needs?

The ppl I know that have their kids in travel sports are far busier than that. It seems like it's a constant thing. As far as free time, when I was growing up alot of my time was free time. Aside from school/chores as was alot of kids I grew up with. Activities weren't a huge deal.

Times change.

Besides PP is right. Travel sports aren’t Olympic training events. Kids still have free time to play in the neighborhood, practice an instrument, read, study.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dragging your non athlete child to tournaments year round was a choice and it’s not one that a lot of us travel sport families make. We split up so that each of our three children can explore their interests. I also have older kids and no regrets but we also didn’t make the choice you did to keep the family together at all costs each weekend, which I think made for happier siblings and a healthier dynamic all around. When we are together as a family it’s for dinners and vacations and downtime, not crammed into a hotel on a sports weekend.

NP and I agree. We don’t take our other child to games or tournaments unless they want to go. We also take the same vacations we did before our child joined a travel team. There may be teams that feel like they own your child and all their time, but you don’t have to choose that. We didn’t.

If this doesn’t demonstrate that sports are now basically a thing for the UMC — particularly those with multiple kids and vacations on top of that, I don’t know does.

PP here. Sorry, should I apologize for being UMC? Or apologize for taking my spring or summer trips? Or did you want me to raise my children the way my husband was raised- not a single birthday party ever, no sports at all, not even attending parent-teacher conferences?

No one expects apologies from the privileged. It is annoying though when people who consider their high level the norm, and act as if it should be easy for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Travel sports are typically a couple practices a week and tournaments here and there. How much free time do you think a kid needs?

The ppl I know that have their kids in travel sports are far busier than that. It seems like it's a constant thing. As far as free time, when I was growing up alot of my time was free time. Aside from school/chores as was alot of kids I grew up with. Activities weren't a huge deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Travel sports are typically a couple practices a week and tournaments here and there. How much free time do you think a kid needs?

They don't need to be heavily scheduled to learn any if that. They're still kids, activities aren't bad, overscheduling is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.

Free time is important for little kids, but as they approach middle and high school, learning to balance IE athletics and academics and/or other activities including community service and music, becomes more important. Just like adults have to balance a job, parenthood and community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think that it's only about missing specific events, but what about free play/free time? Everything a kid/teen does now a days is always an organized event.

Depends on the kid. It’s more an issue for an older kid who plays multiple sports at a competitive level. But for us, our travel athlete has a very intense season (spring through early summer) but the rest of the year is much more chill.

No matter the kids age or whether or not they actually like these types of activities, free time is so important. I don't think kids get nearly enough.