Anonymous wrote:Let your son choose Yale. He will resent you and your DH if you make him choose Penn State. He clearly has worked hard too. Let your family be proud of this accomplishment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yale could open such large career doors that 35k/yr could be a blip in 5yrs. What if ds made $120k coming out of Yale?

This should not be a part of the equation. Dale and Kruger's research has shown over and over (3 decades of data) that the same student will have the same outcomes financially whether they go to an elite college or their safety school. The situation OP is in is literally what D+K's study focuses on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - first, thank you all for your responses, much appreciated!

I wanted to address a few questions that came up in people's posts:
- Nope, definitely not a troll

- DS has a few other acceptances, Tufts and a few SLACs, which we have said "no" to because they'd be more expensive than Yale

- Yes, I did mean Penn State, not UPenn

- DS's counselor was overcautious this year with the safety, target, reach lists (last year quite a few kids at DS's high school had bad surprises); Penn State was his safety, Yale was his reach. Honestly, I didn't think he would get in. It turns out neither did my DH given how much of a lottery it is these days

- DS is undecided in terms of major and career direction. He has a pretty good idea of what he does not want to do which is med school, engineering or academia; currently, he is leaning towards either law school and/or landing a job after college, possibly consulting, and then looking at business/law school

- in a fortunate position where we do not need to take out loans to cover the additional 35k/yr for Yale

- no other kids, just this one

DH and DS nearly got into a fight about this earlier. I can feel that my DS is already starting to resent his dad for the pushback. What the interaction revealed to me is that DS's Yale acceptance triggered issues for my DH. DH came from a low-income family, worked his way through community college and then transferred to State U where he had to work two jobs to support himself as his family was in no position to help. Through a combination of immense hard work and luck, he has done well for himself and for our family. Hence, he told our son today that he can succeed from anywhere and does not need a fancy degree from Yale to do it, especially for an additional 35k/yr. And that he is very lucky we can even pay the Penn State tuition, since DH had to put himself through school.

It is obvious I need to talk to both and bring them together. I am afraid that DH's life experiences and personal pain are making him shortsighted. I will share some of your comments with him as well because I don't think he quite grasps what attending Yale could actually mean for DS.

Thank you again for your input.

Thanks for providing more details. If I were DH in the same situation I would definitely MAKE my son choose YALE. Even if I go broke I would do it. Even if I have to panhandle to pay for my son to attend YALE. I totally understand your DH’s perspective however. And don’t get me wrong—PSU is an excellent school, but YALE carries more prestige—that will help him a lot when he applies for law school, business school, grad school, or his career in general.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he wants to go into law/business/consulting Yale is a no brainer. Your DH may become jealous of the doors Yale will open for your son though

This is only partially correct.

If law, then undergraduate school does not matter.

If business, then matters for first options after undergrad, but does not matter re MBA school & post-MBA employment options.

If consulting, then Yale is the better option.

Going to a school like Yale, which is a recruiting target school for finance and consulting, is a massive leg up for people wanting to pursue a career in business. I'm not sure why you mean it does not matter for B School - it definitely does, from your pre-MBA work experience to general acceptance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he wants to go into law/business/consulting Yale is a no brainer. Your DH may become jealous of the doors Yale will open for your son though

This is only partially correct.

If law, then undergraduate school does not matter.

If business, then matters for first options after undergrad, but does not matter re MBA school & post-MBA employment options.

If consulting, then Yale is the better option.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - first, thank you all for your responses, much appreciated!

I wanted to address a few questions that came up in people's posts:
- Nope, definitely not a troll

- DS has a few other acceptances, Tufts and a few SLACs, which we have said "no" to because they'd be more expensive than Yale

- Yes, I did mean Penn State, not UPenn

- DS's counselor was overcautious this year with the safety, target, reach lists (last year quite a few kids at DS's high school had bad surprises); Penn State was his safety, Yale was his reach. Honestly, I didn't think he would get in. It turns out neither did my DH given how much of a lottery it is these days

- DS is undecided in terms of major and career direction. He has a pretty good idea of what he does not want to do which is med school, engineering or academia; currently, he is leaning towards either law school and/or landing a job after college, possibly consulting, and then looking at business/law school

- in a fortunate position where we do not need to take out loans to cover the additional 35k/yr for Yale

- no other kids, just this one

DH and DS nearly got into a fight about this earlier. I can feel that my DS is already starting to resent his dad for the pushback. What the interaction revealed to me is that DS's Yale acceptance triggered issues for my DH. DH came from a low-income family, worked his way through community college and then transferred to State U where he had to work two jobs to support himself as his family was in no position to help. Through a combination of immense hard work and luck, he has done well for himself and for our family. Hence, he told our son today that he can succeed from anywhere and does not need a fancy degree from Yale to do it, especially for an additional 35k/yr. And that he is very lucky we can even pay the Penn State tuition, since DH had to put himself through school.

It is obvious I need to talk to both and bring them together. I am afraid that DH's life experiences and personal pain are making him shortsighted. I will share some of your comments with him as well because I don't think he quite grasps what attending Yale could actually mean for DS.

Thank you again for your input.