Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

This is a generalization I’ve found to be untrue. I know a 59 year old with two kids under 10 and he’s definitely still coaching their sports teams, skiing with them, running a business and pursuing his own hobbies. Couple seems to have about a 15 year age. I’m sure you can find all kinds of anecdotes but ultimately every situation is different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

Women in their 40s are not in the prime of their lives except in their own deluded minds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

Anonymous wrote:Having worked with the public, I have found that men of any age can't tell the difference between women being "customer service nice" and flirting.

We aren't that interested, guys. Like OP, you just think we are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman that has been married for 20 years, and we have a 12 year age gap. We married when I was in mid-20s. I probably have daddy issues (father abandoned us), DH is wealthy, and I also experienced something very traumatic right before we started dating, so was looking to feel safe and liked that DH seemed normal and settled. So yes - I think people are correct when they see people in these relationships to assume there are underlying issues that bring people together. DH likes intelligent women, but he also wants someone attractive and doesn't find post-menopausal women to be attractive because I think he assumes that the sex wouldn't be good. Now that I'm in my 40s, this worries me and I wish there was someway I could stop menopause from happening. From an intellectual standpoint, I think he may have been happier with someone his own age. Also, even with ED medication, older men can't completely satisfy younger women. Despite all that, we have had a wonderful marriage, and I consider him my best friend.

Yikes. I thought the whole point of being the much younger partner was that you'd always be perceived as the hot young thing. You shouldn't be the one worried about aging if you're 12 years younger than your spouse.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman that has been married for 20 years, and we have a 12 year age gap. We married when I was in mid-20s. I probably have daddy issues (father abandoned us), DH is wealthy, and I also experienced something very traumatic right before we started dating, so was looking to feel safe and liked that DH seemed normal and settled. So yes - I think people are correct when they see people in these relationships to assume there are underlying issues that bring people together. DH likes intelligent women, but he also wants someone attractive and doesn't find post-menopausal women to be attractive because I think he assumes that the sex wouldn't be good. Now that I'm in my 40s, this worries me and I wish there was someway I could stop menopause from happening. From an intellectual standpoint, I think he may have been happier with someone his own age. Also, even with ED medication, older men can't completely satisfy younger women. Despite all that, we have had a wonderful marriage, and I consider him my best friend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

Women in their 40s are not in the prime of their lives except in their own deluded minds.

They’re not in the “prime” of contributing to YOUR life in the primary way you would find them valuable, Romeo. They’re in the prime of their own lives.

I doubt you’re able to begin to comprehend that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

Women in their 40s are not in the prime of their lives except in their own deluded minds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Eek yeah this is hard to watch. Those relationships seem to be pretty fine when you’re both between the 30 and 55 range, but once the man hits his late 50’s/early 60’s there is massive resentment. 58 year old men are ready to slow down and relax, less excited about going out and being social / active all the time…and early 40’s women feel like they’re in the prime of their lives, feeling resentful to be held back by grumpy old fogies. This is playing out among multiple families in our neighborhood / country club and it’s pretty much the same exact story in each case

Anonymous wrote:Having worked with the public, I have found that men of any age can't tell the difference between women being "customer service nice" and flirting.

We aren't that interested, guys. Like OP, you just think we are.

Anonymous wrote:Older woman here.
I knew a woman who married a man with about the same spring-fall age divide.
When he started to get older and sicker, well into his 60s and beyond, she was PISSED off and angry.
She wasn't crazy about retiring into the boonies 2 hours upstate NY for him. She still has at least a decade of active professional life in front of her.

But he wasn't crazy about having another kid (20 year age difference between his first child from first marriage). I am friends with that first child which is how I can see this panning out.

Lucky OP, he got a young nurse. Unlucky her, she's with an old man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this post really brought out the "over the hill" ladies. It's okay ladies you'll find someone for you someday 🤣😂🤣

I don’t get it. What’s your basis for thinking women replying in this thread are old? I’m mid 30s. Most women on DCUM are under 44 if I understand the analytics correctly. Seems more like wishcasting to me.

There is a big range of "under 44" that is still over the hill honey