Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 22:09     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
I got asked if I was buying a gift for “my grandkid” at 34 while in a toy store. I’m quite fit, wear makeup whenever I go out (though try to work on not always feeling the need to do so), have blonde hair past my shoulders, and was wearing skinny jeans and a fitted tank at the time.

The woman who asked me was in her fifties, if I had to guess. And the person who asked me was the sales lady. Did not buy a toy from her.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 18:56     Subject: Re:Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anyway, then he asked my son if I was his grandma and said he has to listen to Grandma and no pouting or complaining. To be clear, my son was eating his food and no tantrums at all, stayed in his seat the whole time eating his food so that was just a general comment. It’s just frustrating and happens enough that it makes me wonder if other people think it but don’t say it.


He was not having a tantrum and he told your so to essentially be good. He was totally not paying attention. It’s not you.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 18:55     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are “embracing the gray” then you have to deal with this. If you don’t want to be viewed as older than you are, then sorry, you do need to dye your hair, pay attention to your clothing, and wear a little bit of makeup.

It’s absolutely fine not to do any of those things, but the trade-off is that you can’t complain and feel wounded when people assume you are older than you are. Because there are women in their late 40s, 50s and 60s who look much younger than you because they are taking these steps. Again, it’s fine not to, but if you’re going to take steps to look good, you’re going to look older than you are.


Why would she want to waste so much time money and energy pretending to be 32 when she is 42 hard earned years old. Ignore the foolish questions and don't assume a person caring for a child is mom. grandma. nanny or anything else.


That is all well and good. Make your choices, live your choices, own your choices. But then don’t complain! That’s all I’m saying. Don’t be bothered! Make your choices and keep it moving.


How about you shut your mouth and keep moving--the rude comments are the problem, not the hair.


Do you actually eat or kiss your children with that mouth? Yucko!


You eat your children?
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 18:54     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Only rednecks or folks that started in high school/before college graduation are grandmothers at 42. It’s him.


Only people who don’t care about their appearance at all look like a grandmother at the age of 42. So there’s that.


The old dude was being doddery.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 18:35     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:This just happened. My son (3y) and I are at a diner eating breakfast. The guests in front of us left and as they were leaving, struck up conversation with my son. He said he had a great-niece and said I had to ensure I do everything for her (misgendering my son). He said it a couple of times so it wasn’t an error. I didn’t correct - it happens often because he has soft features and my son didn’t hear it. If he had, I would have said something for my son’s sake.

Anyway, then he asked my son if I was his grandma and said he has to listen to Grandma and no pouting or complaining. To be clear, my son was eating his food and no tantrums at all, stayed in his seat the whole time eating his food so that was just a general comment. It’s just frustrating and happens enough that it makes me wonder if other people think it but don’t say it.

I’m 42, turning 43 this year. I get that I got an older start but it’s demoralizing to be assumed to be my son’s grandmother. I usually don’t correct the person bc that’s more embarrassing and I just want the conversation to end. Am I alone in this? Does it ever end?


If it bothers you, then try not to look like a grandma.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 17:23     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:Only rednecks or folks that started in high school/before college graduation are grandmothers at 42. It’s him.


Only people who don’t care about their appearance at all look like a grandmother at the age of 42. So there’s that.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 17:14     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Only rednecks or folks that started in high school/before college graduation are grandmothers at 42. It’s him.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 17:10     Subject: Re:Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:I was asked if I was the nanny in the carpool line. Was 33 at the time.


Why is this an insult? Nannies are generally young and pretty.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 17:09     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:This just happened. My son (3y) and I are at a diner eating breakfast. The guests in front of us left and as they were leaving, struck up conversation with my son. He said he had a great-niece and said I had to ensure I do everything for her (misgendering my son). He said it a couple of times so it wasn’t an error. I didn’t correct - it happens often because he has soft features and my son didn’t hear it. If he had, I would have said something for my son’s sake.

Anyway, then he asked my son if I was his grandma and said he has to listen to Grandma and no pouting or complaining. To be clear, my son was eating his food and no tantrums at all, stayed in his seat the whole time eating his food so that was just a general comment. It’s just frustrating and happens enough that it makes me wonder if other people think it but don’t say it.

I’m 42, turning 43 this year. I get that I got an older start but it’s demoralizing to be assumed to be my son’s grandmother. I usually don’t correct the person bc that’s more embarrassing and I just want the conversation to end. Am I alone in this? Does it ever end?


If only one person thinks you're his grandma then chalk it up to bad eyesight. But if many people think that you're his grandma then take a take a long look at yourself in a mirror.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 15:25     Subject: Re:Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
I was asked if I was the nanny in the carpool line. Was 33 at the time.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 15:09     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:I had my 11yo at 37 and where I live that's pretty old. I think I've always been the oldest mom (for my kid's age) at playgroups, activities, and school. I was so happy to meet another mom my age during the preschool years only to learn she was the grandmother. It's made me self conscious about telling people my age. I would hate to hear that someone thought I was the grandma. Although my husband was at a birthday party once where a man probably his age or a few years older thought dh was ds's grandpa. It didn't bother him at all.


We had our youngest when we weee 35 and 36. When she was in high school her best friend had parents who had her when they were 19. Our girl was always like “Tyler’s parents are so fun! They go to rock concerts! Why are you like that?” And we felt so old and tired compared to the fun parents.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 15:06     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I was at Tysons a few years back with my dad who was visiting from out of town and he forgot to bring a belt, so we were getting one at Macys. I was 36 and he was 60 at the time. The salesperson when we were checking out, who was also older! Not a younger college age or early 20s woman! asked/implied that I was his wife and I wanted to THROW UP. Luckily my dad was staring at something on his phone and not paying attention and I was so flustered I just wanted to get out of there. I’m not sure if she thought I was much older or was just assuming he was an older man with a younger woman.


That’s hilarious - my family would still be laughing about that.


That happened to us once in LA when I was in my twenties and my dad was fifty something! He was just like “well it’s California. Those people are all crazy!”
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 14:33     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
I had my 11yo at 37 and where I live that's pretty old. I think I've always been the oldest mom (for my kid's age) at playgroups, activities, and school. I was so happy to meet another mom my age during the preschool years only to learn she was the grandmother. It's made me self conscious about telling people my age. I would hate to hear that someone thought I was the grandma. Although my husband was at a birthday party once where a man probably his age or a few years older thought dh was ds's grandpa. It didn't bother him at all.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 14:08     Subject: Re:Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Paging Brunch Granny!
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 14:05     Subject: Continually get asked if I’m my son’s grandmother
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are “embracing the gray” then you have to deal with this. If you don’t want to be viewed as older than you are, then sorry, you do need to dye your hair, pay attention to your clothing, and wear a little bit of makeup.

It’s absolutely fine not to do any of those things, but the trade-off is that you can’t complain and feel wounded when people assume you are older than you are. Because there are women in their late 40s, 50s and 60s who look much younger than you because they are taking these steps. Again, it’s fine not to, but if you’re going to take steps to look good, you’re going to look older than you are.


Why would she want to waste so much time money and energy pretending to be 32 when she is 42 hard earned years old. Ignore the foolish questions and don't assume a person caring for a child is mom. grandma. nanny or anything else.


That is all well and good. Make your choices, live your choices, own your choices. But then don’t complain! That’s all I’m saying. Don’t be bothered! Make your choices and keep it moving.


How about you shut your mouth and keep moving--the rude comments are the problem, not the hair.


It’s not rude to make an honest mistake in pleasant conversation. If you don’t want to look like a grandmother…don’t. It’s pretty simple. If you’re an older woman with gray hair and a few wrinkles and you’re hanging out with a baby, people are going to assume you are a grandma.