Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

Then divorce her.

You know, if life is good otherwise and you have kids, it feels “shallow” to divorce over a lack of sex. I followed this line of thinking during the sexless part of my marriage and had an emotional affair but could not go through with it.

No. Sex is the basis of all romantic relationships. What a man gives up when he gets married is something most men value above nearly everything: the ability to have sex with many women. If his wife cuts off sex, the marriage is over, and he is released from the rest of the contract.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe your wife would not allow it if she no longer has an interest in sex.

If my husband gained 50 pounds and had no interest in sex I would definitely look for an AP. No interest in leaving the marriage itself.

Same here, another DW. I cannot have sex with a obese person, I did not marry an obese person. I imagine it's even harder for a man, I mean, maybe he cannot get aroused anymore.

What makes you think they are obese? You can gain 50 pounds and not be obese, especially since if it's a tall man.

OP's wife is a woman, and a 50 lbs weight gain would make her obese. You can't force attraction.

Not necessarily.

I went from 138 to 188 pounds. I am 5' 8" and currently wear a size 10 in most clothing, size 12 in a few. I am overweight but not obese. And I was a size 2 at 138 on my wedding day.
You need to see the woman to make this call.
I am not saying I look the same, but a size 2 at 40 would be ridiculous for me. My rib cage was protruding back then. I look great at 170 pounds. So 18 pounds to lose, not 50.

Anyway, interesting that it is the wife not sleeping with him and not the other way round. I'd say she is the one not attracted to him, won't you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe your wife would not allow it if she no longer has an interest in sex.

If my husband gained 50 pounds and had no interest in sex I would definitely look for an AP. No interest in leaving the marriage itself.

Same here, another DW. I cannot have sex with a obese person, I did not marry an obese person. I imagine it's even harder for a man, I mean, maybe he cannot get aroused anymore.

What makes you think they are obese? You can gain 50 pounds and not be obese, especially since if it's a tall man.

OP's wife is a woman, and a 50 lbs weight gain would make her obese. You can't force attraction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe your wife would not allow it if she no longer has an interest in sex.

If my husband gained 50 pounds and had no interest in sex I would definitely look for an AP. No interest in leaving the marriage itself.

Same here, another DW. I cannot have sex with a obese person, I did not marry an obese person. I imagine it's even harder for a man, I mean, maybe he cannot get aroused anymore.

What makes you think they are obese? You can gain 50 pounds and not be obese, especially since if it's a tall man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe your wife would not allow it if she no longer has an interest in sex.

If my husband gained 50 pounds and had no interest in sex I would definitely look for an AP. No interest in leaving the marriage itself.

Same here, another DW. I cannot have sex with a obese person, I did not marry an obese person. I imagine it's even harder for a man, I mean, maybe he cannot get aroused anymore.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe your wife would not allow it if she no longer has an interest in sex.

If my husband gained 50 pounds and had no interest in sex I would definitely look for an AP. No interest in leaving the marriage itself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

Then divorce her.

You know, if life is good otherwise and you have kids, it feels “shallow” to divorce over a lack of sex. I followed this line of thinking during the sexless part of my marriage and had an emotional affair but could not go through with it.

No. Sex is the basis of all romantic relationships. What a man gives up when he gets married is something most men value above nearly everything: the ability to have sex with many women. If his wife cuts off sex, the marriage is over, and he is released from the rest of the contract.

Well, I am a woman and I agree, but having an affair just didn’t comport with who I want to be. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function at work, and that was only while sexting with someone. Fortunately my marriage is better now and DH has resigned himself to having sex. Poor man!

Maybe the fantasy was more consuming than an actual physically consummated affair.

Probably, and I liked it A LOT, but I felt too guilty.

I think if you had actually had sex it would have gone from a fantasy to a reality and stopped consuming so much CPU. What you did is a lot more about desire and what you can’t have, which creates an endless obsession.

Anonymous wrote:Try AshleyMadison. I had affairs for nearly 15 years and that's where I met most of them.The others I met on the regular dating sites but that doesn't work as well these days. It's very easy tell the scammers, and there are way too many these days. You do have to put in the effort but, despite what is usually said about it, by people with zero actual experience, there are plenty of women on that site.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

It’s impossible to not sleep with your husband for 9 years unless you are 70+. She must have been getting good sex outside of DH.

I don’t trust women. They are very sleek and very good at lying and/or justifying any bad deed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

Then divorce her.

You know, if life is good otherwise and you have kids, it feels “shallow” to divorce over a lack of sex. I followed this line of thinking during the sexless part of my marriage and had an emotional affair but could not go through with it.

No. Sex is the basis of all romantic relationships. What a man gives up when he gets married is something most men value above nearly everything: the ability to have sex with many women. If his wife cuts off sex, the marriage is over, and he is released from the rest of the contract.

Well, I am a woman and I agree, but having an affair just didn’t comport with who I want to be. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function at work, and that was only while sexting with someone. Fortunately my marriage is better now and DH has resigned himself to having sex. Poor man!

Maybe the fantasy was more consuming than an actual physically consummated affair.

Probably, and I liked it A LOT, but I felt too guilty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

Then divorce her.

You know, if life is good otherwise and you have kids, it feels “shallow” to divorce over a lack of sex. I followed this line of thinking during the sexless part of my marriage and had an emotional affair but could not go through with it.

No. Sex is the basis of all romantic relationships. What a man gives up when he gets married is something most men value above nearly everything: the ability to have sex with many women. If his wife cuts off sex, the marriage is over, and he is released from the rest of the contract.

Well, I am a woman and I agree, but having an affair just didn’t comport with who I want to be. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function at work, and that was only while sexting with someone. Fortunately my marriage is better now and DH has resigned himself to having sex. Poor man!

Maybe the fantasy was more consuming than an actual physically consummated affair.

Probably, and I liked it A LOT, but I felt too guilty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I personally think my friend who withheld sex from her DH for 9 years was worse than her DH who stepped out after 7 of them. She wouldn’t go to therapy when he asked, didn’t engage in conversations with him about it when he tried, and just took it off the table. That’s abominable.

Then divorce her.

You know, if life is good otherwise and you have kids, it feels “shallow” to divorce over a lack of sex. I followed this line of thinking during the sexless part of my marriage and had an emotional affair but could not go through with it.

No. Sex is the basis of all romantic relationships. What a man gives up when he gets married is something most men value above nearly everything: the ability to have sex with many women. If his wife cuts off sex, the marriage is over, and he is released from the rest of the contract.

Well, I am a woman and I agree, but having an affair just didn’t comport with who I want to be. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function at work, and that was only while sexting with someone. Fortunately my marriage is better now and DH has resigned himself to having sex. Poor man!

Maybe the fantasy was more consuming than an actual physically consummated affair.