Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:44     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


It's really wrong for someone to claim to be LGBT when they are cishet. You don't get some award in life for being queer. It just makes everything more difficult. I think most of these people will eventually stop identifying as queer and move on with their lives as straight cisgender people.


Why? Of course it's not really wrong for them.


If they're questioning, then that's fine. If you're straight and know it, you shouldn't say you're gay. If you're cis and you know it, you shouldn't say you're trans. I've heard of two or three young cis women actually claim they're trans women which is definitionally impossible. An AFAB person can be a trans man or even a feminine transmasculine NB but not a trans woman. It's wrong to make this claim.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:38     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


Clearly it's both. And while your DC's jealousy of his identity being usurped by fakers is natural, it's not right. Kids trying on a different identity for a while will not harm the acceptance of "actually" gay people. It might upset the oldsters such as posters on DCUM but kids are genuinely inclusive now.


DP here also with gay son. The PolitiFact Truth-O-Meter would rate this "mostly false." This may be true for girls who play around with different labels, which I think is fine. It's not true for gay boys. Gay boys still have a very limited sphere in which to exist and that hasn't changed very much. All this "inclusivity" is reserved for girls who are trying on different identities.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:36     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


It's really wrong for someone to claim to be LGBT when they are cishet. You don't get some award in life for being queer. It just makes everything more difficult. I think most of these people will eventually stop identifying as queer and move on with their lives as straight cisgender people.


Why? Of course it's not really wrong for them.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:34     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


It's really wrong for someone to claim to be LGBT when they are cishet. You don't get some award in life for being queer. It just makes everything more difficult. I think most of these people will eventually stop identifying as queer and move on with their lives as straight cisgender people.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:16     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


Clearly it's both. And while your DC's jealousy of his identity being usurped by fakers is natural, it's not right. Kids trying on a different identity for a while will not harm the acceptance of "actually" gay people. It might upset the oldsters such as posters on DCUM but kids are genuinely inclusive now.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:07     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.


Apparently, I am not smart enough to understand any of what you said.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 09:06     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Being gay or Lesbian is not a "sexual preference." It is sexual orientation. It is the not something you choose. I have a gay son who is very upset at the way labels are being tossed around. A cis het girl who doesn't like to wear skirts is not "non-binary" just because she uses they/them pronouns three days a week. A cis het guy is not "gay" just because he announces he is "sapiosexual" (a microlabel that means he is attracted to someone's intellect vs. their appearance). A kid isn't "trans" if they just announce they are trans but have no plans to change their assigned sex to match their gender identity. He said that most of the kids he knows who are claiming to be part of the gay community or chasing their pronouns are "straight kids who are desperate for attention. They tend to be very progressive politically and want to be part of an oppressed group." He and two of his gay male friends fear that this will erase all the work that gay people have done to find acceptance and understanding over the past 50 years. Instead, "gay" is becoming a catchall term not related to male homosexuality and (straight) people are using it as a lifestyle "choice" or "preference" vs. a sexual orientation that cannot be changed.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 08:56     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:Just curious, at my child’s large (public) middle school there seem to be so many kids that are identifying as gay/bi. As in maybe the majority, or close. It seems very commonplace. Is this the case at your child’s middle school? Seeing as adults that identify LGBQ is a much smaller percentage, what is going on with the middle school crowd?


When we were young, gay and bisexual, children, etc. had to stay closeted. So the feeling was or the appearance was that there were fewer.

You may want to ask yourself why you care enough about this to even post this. I say this respectfully.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 08:55     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seeing this is sixth grade and to be honest, sixth grade boys can be pretty unappealing, so it could just be looking at the alternative, realizing, "I'm not attracted to any of them" and the girls come out the winner.


I was thinking the same thing. 6-8th grade boys are shorter than the girls, have not hit the throws of puberty, stink and generally look like little boys. As where half the girls look like grown women. I can see why they aren’t attracted to the boys as assume their are bi since their girl friends are appealing


Right but this has already been true.


Right, but the default used to just be, the boys are still gross. Now it is, go I'm probably be bi/gay


+1 Or asexual, which just gets me. I am all for some asexual 13 year olds!


That reminds me of a conversation I overheard in line at six flag this summer. Girls were pressuring their friend in whether she was gay or straight. She said she didn't know so she must be asexual. I think they were about ten years old.


Kids definitely pressure each other. Over everything.

Only now, they pressure each other over their sexual preferences, even though they are many years away from actually having sex or understanding what it really is.


I have also overhead 12 yr old girls talking about if they are bi/gay or straight and if they are have a girl BFF, they must have a crush on them, so do they? And then being pressured to answer.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 08:52     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:

My daughter is in 9th grade and has 6 trans male friends. Two are considering hormones and dress as male. All 6 have taken male names and male pronouns, but 4 dress like females ('90s punkish) with plaid kilts, fishnets, band tees, and lots of rainbow merch. The kids get angry if people misgender them, even if they present as female. They also say things like, "I have a boyfriend and since I'm male, that means he's gay! But he said he's not gay because he's into my female body—but I'm male!" It is pretty confusing. I think a lot of kids are trying things on to see what fits and they'll figure it out eventually. But that is a large number of trans kids in one grade.



So it's true that a trans male dating either a cis or trans male is in a gay relationship. That doesn't mean that the cis guy necessarily sees it that way. Especially if the trans guy is not transitioning. Once a trans guy goes on hormones, if the other guy is not gay or bi, you'll pretty quickly see that relationship disintegrate because a voice drop is one of the first things that happens on T. If someone is thinking about going on T, they probably experience gender dysphoria and will eventually medically transition. I would think that two dysphoric kids that want hormones in a class of a few hundred isn't that high. If you add in the other 4 kids that don't want hormones then yeah that's rather high. It could be a fluke or they could just be trying out things like you mentioned. They don't want testosterone there really isn't any harm for them to identify as whatever for some amount of time.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 08:18     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seeing this is sixth grade and to be honest, sixth grade boys can be pretty unappealing, so it could just be looking at the alternative, realizing, "I'm not attracted to any of them" and the girls come out the winner.


I was thinking the same thing. 6-8th grade boys are shorter than the girls, have not hit the throws of puberty, stink and generally look like little boys. As where half the girls look like grown women. I can see why they aren’t attracted to the boys as assume their are bi since their girl friends are appealing


Right but this has already been true.


Right, but the default used to just be, the boys are still gross. Now it is, go I'm probably be bi/gay


+1 Or asexual, which just gets me. I am all for some asexual 13 year olds!


That reminds me of a conversation I overheard in line at six flag this summer. Girls were pressuring their friend in whether she was gay or straight. She said she didn't know so she must be asexual. I think they were about ten years old.


Kids definitely pressure each other. Over everything.

Only now, they pressure each other over their sexual preferences, even though they are many years away from actually having sex or understanding what it really is.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2023 00:25     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seeing this is sixth grade and to be honest, sixth grade boys can be pretty unappealing, so it could just be looking at the alternative, realizing, "I'm not attracted to any of them" and the girls come out the winner.


I was thinking the same thing. 6-8th grade boys are shorter than the girls, have not hit the throws of puberty, stink and generally look like little boys. As where half the girls look like grown women. I can see why they aren’t attracted to the boys as assume their are bi since their girl friends are appealing


Right but this has already been true.


Right, but the default used to just be, the boys are still gross. Now it is, go I'm probably be bi/gay


+1 Or asexual, which just gets me. I am all for some asexual 13 year olds!


That reminds me of a conversation I overheard in line at six flag this summer. Girls were pressuring their friend in whether she was gay or straight. She said she didn't know so she must be asexual. I think they were about ten years old.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2023 23:58     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
[quote=Anonymous]Just curious, at my child’s large (public) middle school there seem to be so many kids that are identifying as gay/bi. As in maybe the majority, or close. It seems very commonplace. Is this the case at your child’s middle school? Seeing as adults that identify LGBQ is a much smaller percentage, what is going on with the middle school crowd? [/quote]

My daughter is in 9th grade and has 6 trans male friends. Two are considering hormones and dress as male. All 6 have taken male names and male pronouns, but 4 dress like females ('90s punkish) with plaid kilts, fishnets, band tees, and lots of rainbow merch. The kids get angry if people misgender them, even if they present as female. They also say things like, "I have a boyfriend and since I'm male, that means he's gay! But he said he's not gay because he's into my female body—but I'm male!" It is pretty confusing. I think a lot of kids are trying things on to see what fits and they'll figure it out eventually. But that is a large number of trans kids in one grade.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2023 23:10     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do all you parents care so much? Being a closeted person with no internet in the 80’s was HELL.

At least these kids can express themselves and talk to other ppl that might be like them. Social media can be harmful but it can also be helpful.

I don’t care about labels and my kids or their friends can change their labels and pronouns daily for all I care. As long as they are having and kind. The End

Get a life ppl


I care because my kid and her friends care a lot. I don’t get involved but I like to be at least aware of what my kids are talking about and into, and I especially recommend that all parents of teens know who their kids are talking to online. The harmful/helpful line in social media is really, really fine when it comes to kids being influenced by strangers on the internet.


If your kids are influenced by strangers on the internet, that is a parenting issue


Oh please. What teen does not have a phone and social apps? (hint: they all have it).

You are kidding yourself if you think your child isn’t influenced.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2023 20:56     Subject: Middle school gay/bi kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do all you parents care so much? Being a closeted person with no internet in the 80’s was HELL.

At least these kids can express themselves and talk to other ppl that might be like them. Social media can be harmful but it can also be helpful.

I don’t care about labels and my kids or their friends can change their labels and pronouns daily for all I care. As long as they are having and kind. The End

Get a life ppl


I care because my kid and her friends care a lot. I don’t get involved but I like to be at least aware of what my kids are talking about and into, and I especially recommend that all parents of teens know who their kids are talking to online. The harmful/helpful line in social media is really, really fine when it comes to kids being influenced by strangers on the internet.


If your kids are influenced by strangers on the internet, that is a parenting issue