Anonymous wrote:

Next year get yourself the best xmas present under the tree. Diamond earrings, iPad, vibrator, whatever floats your boat.

Sure, I could do that. Here's the thing: it's a lot of mental energy to select gifts, and time to shop and wrap. I give so much to others that I don't want to also have to do that for myself. I'd like my spouse to go through the effort of buying me a gift (even a crappy one) since I do it for him, our kids, our nieces & nephews, his mother, my parents -- as well as small treats for coworkers, neighbors, church friends, etc.

If DH is otherwise a great partner, who cares. I pick out my "big present" every year, and am very satisfied with that.

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Anonymous wrote:I got my wife (well, us) a Breville blender to replace our old crappy one.

Honey, is that you?

What did she get you? And what did you do to make Christmas “happen”? The problem in these situations is usually the lack of reciprocity.

Lack of communication.

How’s that? A DW should have to say “I am going to be disappointed if you don’t get me a thoughtful Christmas gift”?

Yes. If an adult is going to be disappointed again because they didn’t get a present from someone notorious for not giving good presents, they should say: I would like a pair of earrings and here’s the store. Go buy them for me.

Or be disappointed again. Your choice.

Otherwise,

Or her adult husband with agency could grow up and people could stop making excuses for him.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny who tested positive from covid, thanks to the grandma at work who arrived ill for the holidays. When she arrived, I could tell she was sick, and asked about her throat and if she was okay. She lied and said she was fine. Now we all have covid, I am out $700 for my flight to Canada to see my family, and I got to spend Xmas alone.

Anonymous wrote:I’m single and alone on Christmas because my family are toxic alcoholics. I bought myself a new iPad, le creuset pan, Bombas slippers, fuzzy pyjamas, and a Tory burch handbag. All bought on sale Black Friday! I save $25/week all year so then I have $1300 to spend on myself at Christmas. Highly recommend!!

Anonymous wrote:Every present I gave my husband had hours of thought behind it - he bought off my Amazon wish list, including the garbage bags I'd accidentally saved there instead of my shopping list.

So.

Yeah.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m single and alone on Christmas because my family are toxic alcoholics. I bought myself a new iPad, le creuset pan, Bombas slippers, fuzzy pyjamas, and a Tory burch handbag. All bought on sale Black Friday! I save $25/week all year so then I have $1300 to spend on myself at Christmas. Highly recommend!!

That sounds wonderful. Merry Christmas PP!

Thank you, and same to you!! Forgot to mention that I also buy myself a good book every year, so then I can spend the day reading instead of scrolling on social media. I kind of make it a self care day, to take care of myself, and feel the love - from me to me. Sending lots of love out to anyone else having a hard day today xo

Your whole approach to life sounds wonderful. The fact that’s you save all year to make this day extra special is just the icing on top. If you happen to see this once you’ve finished your novel and dipped a toe back into social media, just wanted to send many good wishes your way!

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone posted this yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOVCtUdaMCU

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not normally this person but I really feel it this Christmas so:

If you woke up in a warm bed and spent the morning with a spouse and children, none of whom had to work or are battling illness, and everyone in your family will have plenty to eat today, then you are among the most fortunate people in the world today, and in the history of the world. If you had MORE than this -- a large and well-appointed house, extended family nearby, a mound of gifts to give and/or get, luxurious food and clothes, a fancy vacation to look forward to... then there are so few people in the world who would not envy you these riches that a random sample of the world's population might not turn up any at all.

Also, if you have a job, internet access, and don't have to work on Christmas Day, odds are fairly good that that you can afford to buy, or save up to buy with some small mount of diligence, whatever consumer good your heart desires.

Again, I'm not normally this person, but this thread was almost shocking to me -- be grateful, OP. You no doubt have so much to be grateful for. If you are disappointed in, of all things, the gifts you didn't receive this morning, please take a moment to count your other no doubt numerous assets and consider all the people who have so much less and yet have still found a way to be more content and gracious today than you.

Mmkay, Pollyanna.

No, OP should not be grateful that her husband couldn’t be bothered to get her a single simple gift for Christmas, while he had no problem opening his own. Christmas is the same date every year.

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Anonymous wrote:An adult should not be disappointed in their gifts.

What a weird perspective.

NP It isn’t. Expecting to be wowed by gifts — heck, expecting *gifts* — is gauche.

So you’re teaching your children that moms shouldn’t mind being treated like doormats / invisible? Great parenting.

Anonymous wrote:I am not normally this person but I really feel it this Christmas so:

If you woke up in a warm bed and spent the morning with a spouse and children, none of whom had to work or are battling illness, and everyone in your family will have plenty to eat today, then you are among the most fortunate people in the world today, and in the history of the world. If you had MORE than this -- a large and well-appointed house, extended family nearby, a mound of gifts to give and/or get, luxurious food and clothes, a fancy vacation to look forward to... then there are so few people in the world who would not envy you these riches that a random sample of the world's population might not turn up any at all.

Also, if you have a job, internet access, and don't have to work on Christmas Day, odds are fairly good that that you can afford to buy, or save up to buy with some small mount of diligence, whatever consumer good your heart desires.

Again, I'm not normally this person, but this thread was almost shocking to me -- be grateful, OP. You no doubt have so much to be grateful for. If you are disappointed in, of all things, the gifts you didn't receive this morning, please take a moment to count your other no doubt numerous assets and consider all the people who have so much less and yet have still found a way to be more content and gracious today than you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An adult should not be disappointed in their gifts.

What a weird perspective.

NP It isn’t. Expecting to be wowed by gifts — heck, expecting *gifts* — is gauche.

So you’re teaching your children that moms shouldn’t mind being treated like doormats / invisible? Great parenting.

That’s not what PP was doing.

But you know that.