Anonymous wrote:
When I am minding my own business at a school function where I am volunteering in the middle of the school day in my business suit, yes, it irks me when the SAHM of my child's classmate asks me if I am going back to work after craft time, I smile and say that I am, and then she rubs my arm clucks her tongue sympathetically and says, "oh you poor thing and and poor (my child's name)." Same woman does this every time she sees me. If I show up for pick up there are several women who routinely comment that they can't wait to see how excited my child will be to see me when she comes out of school "since she never gets to see you that much."

Anonymous wrote:In response to 22:56's question which is essentially what's it to you what a SAHM of school aged children does all day. Here is my answer. Nothing. It is immaterial to me, generally speaking, what a generic SAHM of school aged children or young children does with her day. I don't care whether she is cooking tomato sauce from scratch. I don't care about her laundry. I don't care whether or not she volunteers. I don't care if she can or can't afford what I can because I work. I really don't. I wish her well.

Specifically, however, I do care very much when specific women who happen to stay at home denigrate me for working. I admit. That makes me mad and because I have a temper I am more than a little snipey in certain situations. When I am minding my own business at a school function where I am volunteering in the middle of the school day in my business suit, yes, it irks me when the SAHM of my child's classmate asks me if I am going back to work after craft time, I smile and say that I am, and then she rubs my arm clucks her tongue sympathetically and says, "oh you poor thing and and poor (my child's name)." Same woman does this every time she sees me. If I show up for pick up there are several women who routinely comment that they can't wait to see how excited my child will be to see me when she comes out of school "since she never gets to see you that much." Seriously? I own my own small business. I love my work. I make good money and I am home no later than 6:05pm every night. I have a happy and healthy child and great husband. I think I am luckiest person on earth.

So do I care what those women do all day? Yes. Yes, I do. Why? Because I am small and petty and I think I am better than them for being able to earn $100K+ in addition to raising a happy healthy child and enjoying life. And I wholeheartedly admit that I am not nearly as diplomatic as I might be when certain causes like less homework, graduation fees, and the like come up at school. So when one of them calls or emails about me signing a petition for less homework, I admit to responding that I just don't think an hour of homework total is too much and saying no that it does not impinge on family time at all since she does homework with her nanny before I get home. I check it over, answer any questions and then help pack up the backpack for the next day. it"s 10 minutes for me so no problem. I take a certain perverse pleasure in bumping into one of these women on my way into the nail place on the weekend while she is trailing children behind her from some store. I take an even more perverse pleasure when she says, "where is (my child's name)," and I can honestly respond, "hanging out with daddy while I get my nails done." And I know that her husband won't watch the children for 10 minutes while she pees because he is a dick and knows he doesn't have to and there is nothing she can do about it.

See? So, no, generically for the majority of you who SAH with big kids or little kids, I don't care what you do during the day. I am the mom in the business suit who tells you that there is a cart with the truck on the garage at Wegmans when I see you little guy melting down because you promised him a truck cart. I am the one who holds the door for your stroller at Starbucks. I am the one who offers you a shout wipe, hand sanitizer, or a sani-wipe when you are digging frantically in your bag. I am the one tells the guy pounding on the single bathroom door to give you a break since you went in to change a diaper. I am the one in the bathroom who quietly stands in front of the door out of the bathroom when your old enough to pee by themselves child, who is not old enough to wander unsupervised outside of the bathroom in a bog box store, escapes their stall while you are still in yours with your pants down saying, "Esmerelda! Wait for me please! Don't leave the bathroom!"

It is only when I feel that I have been insulted that I become insulting and I am working on that.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sick of all these "I can do what you do and more" boasts. It's the equivalent of penis measuring for the moms. Everyone's life is different and challenging. Is it really that important what each one of us does between 9 and 3 pm? Everyone get over yourself. No one is curing cancer here.

Anonymous wrote:Because I have yet to meet a SAHM whose day isn't mostly made up of errands. I talk to my friends all the time and their "busiest" day is characterized by ERRANDS that i usually can fit in a weekend morning and be done with it. You dont need all week to get groceries, do laundry and cook dinner. So yes, I am judgemental of people whose lives consist of that. However, I acknowledge that many moms who chose to stay at home do so much more than pick up dry cleaning and cook meals. And even if they didn't and just did errands, if they were HAPPY, then that's fine too.

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered the same.

My child is in a private K and there is a couple moms who don't work but the majority do. Its kind of funny bc when I met the one SAHM, she admitted that she stayed home and there was kind of a silence between us that she kind of stumbled over to fill. It was funny bc we both knew exactly what I was thinking "really??? your kids are all in school and you are at home? [b]why?"[/b] She kind came up with some answer but I could see she wasn't comfortable with it.

For me personally, I can't imagine being home everyday, day in and day out with nothing really defined to do. For me volunteering at school a few hours and running errands or just hanging out for lunch and going to the gym wouldn't cut it long term for me but I can see that it does for other moms so I think that's what some of them do with their time. [/q

You wonder why she's at home? Maybe she want to be there for them when they return from school. My mom was a SAHM when my siblings and I were at school and we love to see her at noon to have lunch with her, not with a nanny. At least, that's our culture.