Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me one of the worst parts about watching someone die is watching them go from a person to an object. So I absolutely hate open casket funerals because it's just this horrible elongation of that feeling.

But that is part of the whole human experience. It is no different than birth.

Agreed. I feel that thinking the body is “disgusting” or “morbid” is an attempt to ignore the reality of the death.

Anonymous wrote:For me one of the worst parts about watching someone die is watching them go from a person to an object. So I absolutely hate open casket funerals because it's just this horrible elongation of that feeling.

But that is part of the whole human experience. It is no different than birth.

Anonymous wrote:I also don't get it. In fact, I find it very disrespectful to the deceased and everyone.

Embalming, makeup, etc., makes absolutely no sense at all.

Well, you can skip a lot of stuff, but if you skip embalming you’re going to pay for refrigeration unless they go from place of death directly to the crematory; when I was in the market refrigeration per day was quoted at about what embalming costs. While they cannot require embalming, US funeral directors view it (and not without reason) as making the remains easier and safer to handle. It also typically is one of the least expensive things on the funeral menu. What runs up the price is the typically very high charge for “basic services,” which essentially includes being in business and answering the phone.

For me one of the worst parts about watching someone die is watching them go from a person to an object. So I absolutely hate open casket funerals because it's just this horrible elongation of that feeling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is the norm in my culture, but it is very disturbing for me

These posters are showing their provincialism. You know there are other countries and other cultures in the world, right?

Other counties are barbarians

Anonymous wrote:My dad thought open casket was gross so we had calling hours and funeral with casket closed. We had so many people come through and ask why it was closed and how he looked when he died. It was bizarre. I found myself saying “he looks good he just didn’t want you to see him dead.”

Because weird for me to go to a wake with a closed casket. What is point. Just go straight to funeral. I go to wakes to see my loved ones one last time. A closed casket ⚰️ takes that away. I traced six hours to my Godmothers wake and to go look at a 📦 box. Why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels so unnecessarily distressing

They're weird, grotesque, and morbid. My VERY Catholic family (both sides) always had them. The younger generations are moving away from them, thankfully.

People would always say that Grandma "looked so good" or they "did such a good job with her." Um, no. She looks dead. And now that is the last visual I will have of her.

For some people, the dead visual is a better final memory than the dying visual. Even the natural dying process (the gasping, the reaching, etc.) has seemed pretty grotesque to me.

Doubt most of these posters are present at the dying. Too traumatic!

Birth is pretty grotesque too. People think if you don't see these things and confront them it is somehow better. Death is a part of life. Denying it doesn't keep it any further from you. Some people need the closure of seeing the person dead. To see that they are truly gone. To see that who they are is no longer there. Some do not. Some people like to see the body because it makes them feel a certain way about their own passing. It is a complicated issue. I am generally of the opinion that keeping the death and dying separate from our lives, outsourcing the care of their bodies and the loss of traditions like mourning clothing have made us more anxious about death and more disconnected from the richness of living.

Anonymous wrote:It is the norm in my culture, but it is very disturbing for me

These posters are showing their provincialism. You know there are other countries and other cultures in the world, right?

It is the norm in my culture, but it is very disturbing for me

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels so unnecessarily distressing

They're weird, grotesque, and morbid. My VERY Catholic family (both sides) always had them. The younger generations are moving away from them, thankfully.

People would always say that Grandma "looked so good" or they "did such a good job with her." Um, no. She looks dead. And now that is the last visual I will have of her.

For some people, the dead visual is a better final memory than the dying visual. Even the natural dying process (the gasping, the reaching, etc.) has seemed pretty grotesque to me.

Doubt most of these posters are present at the dying. Too traumatic!

Anonymous wrote:I also don't get it. In fact, I find it very disrespectful to the deceased and everyone.

Embalming, makeup, etc., makes absolutely no sense at all.

How is it disrespectful to the dead if they requested it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Viewing the dead body is ever evolving. The tradition of a viewing seems to be fading. The worst was a time in the late 19th century, with the advent of photography, the dead were propped up in life-like poses and photographed. And if it could get even worse, dead babies and toddlers were cradled in their mother's arms and photographed. The expressions on the mothers' faces is heart wrenching.
https://www.burnsarchive.com/historical-death-memorial

I think this was done because personal cameras weren’t a thing yet so the only memory would be the death photo. From that perspective, you can kind of understand it. I think it’s much creepier when modern day couples post photos of stillborn babies on social media. That stuff should be private and not turned into grief porn.

It’s not “grief porn” if it was your child. People grieve differently, pp.

Anonymous wrote:Viewing the dead body is ever evolving. The tradition of a viewing seems to be fading. The worst was a time in the late 19th century, with the advent of photography, the dead were propped up in life-like poses and photographed. And if it could get even worse, dead babies and toddlers were cradled in their mother's arms and photographed. The expressions on the mothers' faces is heart wrenching.
https://www.burnsarchive.com/historical-death-memorial

I think this was done because personal cameras weren’t a thing yet so the only memory would be the death photo. From that perspective, you can kind of understand it. I think it’s much creepier when modern day couples post photos of stillborn babies on social media. That stuff should be private and not turned into grief porn.

Viewing the dead body is ever evolving. The tradition of a viewing seems to be fading. The worst was a time in the late 19th century, with the advent of photography, the dead were propped up in life-like poses and photographed. And if it could get even worse, dead babies and toddlers were cradled in their mother's arms and photographed. The expressions on the mothers' faces is heart wrenching.
https://www.burnsarchive.com/historical-death-memorial

Anonymous wrote:I also don't get it. In fact, I find it very disrespectful to the deceased and everyone.

Embalming, makeup, etc., makes absolutely no sense at all.

100%.

I’m executor of my parents wills, and that will NOT be happening. Thankfully, neither of them want that, anyway.

It’s morbid and grotesque. (I say that as someone who usually enjoys the morbid and grotesque—just not for my loved ones.)

[NP]