Anonymous wrote:

For some reason, I feel like it is a little different as kids get older. I would never expect someone to send their elementary school kid with money to pay for themselves, but I find it odd when my 15 year old's friends occasionally join us for family outings without bringing a cent of money. I'm happy to pay their entrance fees for stuff, but I kind of feel like, if a kid is almost old enough to have a job, it would be nice for them to have some cash to pick up the tab for their own sodas etc. I guess I should be grateful that the kids are willing to join us for family stuff at all at this point.


Are you kids picking up their own tab for soda?

If you have a child as a guest, they should be treated as you do your child

What? I am not the PP, but that makes no sense to me. If I took my own child somewhere, and he saw something he would like to decorate his room (that was reasonable), I would pay for it for him. I would not pay for something to decorate one of his friends' rooms.

A souvenir is not a soda. You are talking about something different.

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, I feel like it is a little different as kids get older. I would never expect someone to send their elementary school kid with money to pay for themselves, but I find it odd when my 15 year old's friends occasionally join us for family outings without bringing a cent of money. I'm happy to pay their entrance fees for stuff, but I kind of feel like, if a kid is almost old enough to have a job, it would be nice for them to have some cash to pick up the tab for their own sodas etc. I guess I should be grateful that the kids are willing to join us for family stuff at all at this point.

I have 11 and 13 yo. When we take kids out, parents almost always give the kid money or ask us how much they owe us and we always decline. On a few instances, we have given our kids money and they do spend on ice cream or cotton candy type stuff.

My 13yo doesn’t really do outings solo yet but if the kids start hanging out in high school and I’m just driving and dropping kids off, I would expect other kids to have spending money.

I think the polite way is for the host to plan to pay or explain what the cost is up front so the invited person can consider the cost before accepting or declining.

For some reason, I feel like it is a little different as kids get older. I would never expect someone to send their elementary school kid with money to pay for themselves, but I find it odd when my 15 year old's friends occasionally join us for family outings without bringing a cent of money. I'm happy to pay their entrance fees for stuff, but I kind of feel like, if a kid is almost old enough to have a job, it would be nice for them to have some cash to pick up the tab for their own sodas etc. I guess I should be grateful that the kids are willing to join us for family stuff at all at this point.


Are you kids picking up their own tab for soda?

If you have a child as a guest, they should be treated as you do your child

To be honest, my 15 year old doesn't get invited to do things with his friends' families - at all. He obviously picks up his own tab when he does things with just a friend.

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, I feel like it is a little different as kids get older. I would never expect someone to send their elementary school kid with money to pay for themselves, but I find it odd when my 15 year old's friends occasionally join us for family outings without bringing a cent of money. I'm happy to pay their entrance fees for stuff, but I kind of feel like, if a kid is almost old enough to have a job, it would be nice for them to have some cash to pick up the tab for their own sodas etc. I guess I should be grateful that the kids are willing to join us for family stuff at all at this point.

Are you kids picking up their own tab for soda?

If you have a child as a guest, they should be treated as you do your child

For some reason, I feel like it is a little different as kids get older. I would never expect someone to send their elementary school kid with money to pay for themselves, but I find it odd when my 15 year old's friends occasionally join us for family outings without bringing a cent of money. I'm happy to pay their entrance fees for stuff, but I kind of feel like, if a kid is almost old enough to have a job, it would be nice for them to have some cash to pick up the tab for their own sodas etc. I guess I should be grateful that the kids are willing to join us for family stuff at all at this point.

I actually find it more annoying when parents send more than $20. I’m not letting them pay for anything, besides one souvenir. Having more than $20 it usually means they want to buy a junk at every stop. Then my kids want to also. I don’t really think the parents want them buying candy everyday and coming home with several junk souvenirs- so don’t send too much, please!

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Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

Please review the difference between "any" and "half" and then try again. Thanks in advance.

DP. You said you "barely" had enough for canning. That sounds like you gave the friend almost no berries. If you let her have a few berries out of the many you needed for canning, I'm not exactly blown away by your amazing hospitality. Since this was a trip about you and your canning you should have left the friend at home because it doesn't sound like a fun activity.

I’m not that PP. The “almost no berries” is a fiction you created in your head. Try again. One child does not need half of what multiple people in two families picked.

Barely had enough sounds a lot like your group didn’t get enough for your sacred canning or you’re just embellishing. You put it out there, people are just responding. Exactly how much did you give her if there was barely enough for you? just clarify if you want to be understood.

Child was probably given a container of berries. Child picked Barrie’s and wanted to take their container home. Seems reasonable to me. Op should have said you can fill your container to here to take home then I’d appreciate if you could help pick some for me for canning.

Presumably there were at least three people there: the adult, the adult's kid and her friend greedy berry kid, Why would you give the child "half the berries" you picked? If the kid asks just say no, we need the berries for xyz or...we each get berries that we picked etc...

This one is an odd complaint. If you took a child berry picking, i don’t think the child is being greedy to want to take berries she picked home. We go berry picking all the time.

It seems like it would be easy to just tell the child that she could only have the berries she picked and that would be that. But for the poster to be so angry about this and banning her from joining them ever again makes it seem like something else went down. It's a very odd story. Kids are still learning and figuring these things out, if the parents aren't around and a kid is with me I have no problems letting them know if they are crossing a line or being inappropriate the same way a teacher would. A reminder is all it takes and I don't get bent out of shape when it happens unless a kid didn't seem to listen or care, I wouldn't tolerate blatant disrespect.

When we invite a kid, we are paying.

My middle kid is a foodie and orders expensive items. We don’t limit food orders and we often eat out.This thread is a good reminder to tell him to be conscious of what he is ordering when others are paying.

The only time I ever asked another family for anything was back when Busch Gardens did the free preschooler pass for Virginia residents - I asked the other family to apply online for the pass because I was sure that they didn’t want to give me their kid’s birth certificate. On the day, we paid for everything else - food, souvenirs etc. Now, if my kid has to go anywhere like that, I get his ticket online ahead of time for him to have, and do send with money for food which always comes back home unspent.

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Anonymous wrote:ETA to above: Ok, I do not mind paying but I do not like when kids take advantage of my good hospitality. I do not like it when a kid loads up on snacks or frivolous things on my dime in addition to the pizza and snacks and admission that I already purchased. This happened once and this child was not invited with us again. Lately, I took a child berry picking with us and paid admission and for containers. However, the child felt the need to take half of the fruit we picked for herself. I needed a certain amount for canning and barely made the amount I needed. I was not happy with this and she will not be coming with us again. Kids with manners and grace are welcomed.

You are the parent in charge when they are with you. Just say no. You don’t have to buy them anything and everything. You can say no to extra snacks, gifts, etc.

This but it’s a bit bizarre not to let them bring home some berries they picked. That is pretty bad to bring a kid to pick fruit and not let them have any.

Please review the difference between "any" and "half" and then try again. Thanks in advance.

DP. You said you "barely" had enough for canning. That sounds like you gave the friend almost no berries. If you let her have a few berries out of the many you needed for canning, I'm not exactly blown away by your amazing hospitality. Since this was a trip about you and your canning you should have left the friend at home because it doesn't sound like a fun activity.

I’m not that PP. The “almost no berries” is a fiction you created in your head. Try again. One child does not need half of what multiple people in two families picked.

Barely had enough sounds a lot like your group didn’t get enough for your sacred canning or you’re just embellishing. You put it out there, people are just responding. Exactly how much did you give her if there was barely enough for you? just clarify if you want to be understood.

Child was probably given a container of berries. Child picked Barrie’s and wanted to take their container home. Seems reasonable to me. Op should have said you can fill your container to here to take home then I’d appreciate if you could help pick some for me for canning.

Presumably there were at least three people there: the adult, the adult's kid and her friend greedy berry kid, Why would you give the child "half the berries" you picked? If the kid asks just say no, we need the berries for xyz or...we each get berries that we picked etc...

This one is an odd complaint. If you took a child berry picking, i don’t think the child is being greedy to want to take berries she picked home. We go berry picking all the time.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Stop using the term PSA when it’s really just your cheap ass spouting off about something.

+1

What are you talking about OP? If you invite a child to the zoo, pay for their stuff.

Also who uses cash?!?

Always use cash! Many places are cheaper if you use cash. Some don't even take credit.

The trend is more and more places going contactless and taking credit only. Especially at a zoo or amusement park. The little kiosks often don’t take cash.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop using the term PSA when it’s really just your cheap ass spouting off about something.

+1

What are you talking about OP? If you invite a child to the zoo, pay for their stuff.

Also who uses cash?!?

Always use cash! Many places are cheaper if you use cash. Some don't even take credit.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter messaged me from practice a few weeks ago, saying X invited her to go with them for ice cream. They would drive her home when they were finished. I agreed. A short while later the mom sent me a money request through Venmo for my daughter's ice cream. I paid of course, and would have sent money, but still was surprised to see a request at all. If you invite, you should pay. Otherwise just host at home.

I agree. However, in your shoes I would have offered to pay for DD's icecream when I gave permission to her to go with her friend's family beforehand.

And i would have texted the mom after the trip "Thank you for taking Larla for the treat and for dropping her home. She really enjoyed hanging out with Megan after the practice!"