UPDATE

So, I responded to the group text where my cousin ordered all the bridesmaids to buy a second dress. I answered that since the first dress was non refundable and a second dress wasn’t in my budget, I‘m stepping down as MOH to allow one of the bridesmaids to take my place and all the dresses to coordinate. I explained that I’m fine with not being MOH because we’ll always be family and I just want to make this wedding planning as easy as possible on my cousin.

My cousin didn’t respond. In all, she was radio silent for a week after the call in which she chewed me out over the phone. She then texted me yesterday to tell me she had a time slot that day in a two hour range between yoga to talk to me and told me to send her a time in that range that works. I found that incredibly entitled and arrogant, plus I didn’t want to sign up for being chewed out again. I told her that I felt bruised from our last call and that she should text me what she wants to say.

This morning, she sent me an 8 minute voice note. I don’t know exactly what she said in the note because I have small kids and a life. I’m not listening to an 8 minute voice note on memorial day. She also sent me texts “correcting” me on what she seems to believe are inaccuracies.

I’m so over this woman that I responded that I think it’s entitled of her to expect me to listen to an eight minute voice note and that I’m done with this bridesmaid drama. I told her to let me know if she still wants my family to attend her wedding and that was that. She texted a bunch of other stuff suggesting
that something must be going on with me for me to have a problem with her approach and blah blah blah. I’m not responding. Ladies and gentlemen, lesson learned on holding boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me. The bride wasted my time and money on dresses. I bowed out gracefully but attended the wedding. To this day she’s still a pita and self-indulgent manipulator. Get out now

This describes my cousin perfectly.

Something similar happened to me. The bride wasted my time and money on dresses. I bowed out gracefully but attended the wedding. To this day she’s still a pita and self-indulgent manipulator. Get out now

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am so happy for you.

"I learned to love the sound of my own feet walking away."

OP here. I love this quote! Thanks!

OP, I am so happy for you.

"I learned to love the sound of my own feet walking away."

Anonymous wrote:Oh nope. I would tell her I'm no longer able to participate in the wedding because of how she treated me. Make sure she knows it's not about the $$ or the hassle it's her attitude.

Stop being a doormat, OP.

This is good advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, did you back out yet? How’d it go?

I did and she hasn’t responded. That’s fine with me. The weight is off my shoulders regardless.

Good riddance! Plan something fun on the wedding night now that you’re free.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the horrible-ness going on in the world right now this thread is so refreshing. Such simpler times.

I’m the OP. To be fair, horrible things didn’t just start happening in the world nor is anything happening at this moment at all unique or a departure from any time before now. If you only just started noticing the world’s problems and traumas, then that’s an indication you live a rather pampered life. I don’t think you’re in the position to check my privilege, as you seem to be trying to do. My apologies if I’ve mistaken your tone!

Apology accepted. I just needed a break and this thread was it - that's all I meant.

Please let me apologize again then! I’m sorry. I’m so used to people taking random swipes in this forum that I thought you were throwing shade. Thanks for explaining.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the horrible-ness going on in the world right now this thread is so refreshing. Such simpler times.

I’m the OP. To be fair, horrible things didn’t just start happening in the world nor is anything happening at this moment at all unique or a departure from any time before now. If you only just started noticing the world’s problems and traumas, then that’s an indication you live a rather pampered life. I don’t think you’re in the position to check my privilege, as you seem to be trying to do. My apologies if I’ve mistaken your tone!

Apology accepted. I just needed a break and this thread was it - that's all I meant.

OP, tell her NO you are not buying a second dress. If she wants you to have a different dress she can pay for it. She choose a dress, you bought it, so too bad.

Anonymous wrote:OP, did you back out yet? How’d it go?

I did and she hasn’t responded. That’s fine with me. The weight is off my shoulders regardless.

Anonymous wrote:With all the horrible-ness going on in the world right now this thread is so refreshing. Such simpler times.

I’m the OP. To be fair, horrible things didn’t just start happening in the world nor is anything happening at this moment at all unique or a departure from any time before now. If you only just started noticing the world’s problems and traumas, then that’s an indication you live a rather pampered life. I don’t think you’re in the position to check my privilege, as you seem to be trying to do. My apologies if I’ve mistaken your tone!

With all the horrible-ness going on in the world right now this thread is so refreshing. Such simpler times.

OP, did you back out yet? How’d it go?

Oh nope. I would tell her I'm no longer able to participate in the wedding because of how she treated me. Make sure she knows it's not about the $$ or the hassle it's her attitude.

Stop being a doormat, OP.