Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's 3 hours a day of driving! No way can anyone just disappear for 3 hours a day without anyone noticing at work.

Hilarious that anyone would even think a person could get away with carpooling during working hours.

His choice to sign them up, his responsibility to figure out how to get them there every day. Full stop. Your job is as important as his no matter what your relative salaries.

OP here. My job is not important, not really. I get that. Still, I don't want to lose it! Especially over something stupid like this.

I suppose I will have to use vacation time and make sure DH knows I won't be able to do multiple family vacations this year.

Why can’t your DH take at least two of those days as vacation to handle to drop off and pickup those days ..and I would ask him to take the beginning of the week. Why should you burn all your vacation time or risk getting fired trying to fit in a 3 hour a day drop/off pickup for an activity that he committed to without asking you first.

I’m very sensitive about this because, though I love my mom, she is one to commit other people’s time and money without even a conversation first. It was a big source of conflict in my parents marriage. Remember, you teach people how to treat you and right now your actions are saying it’s okay to commit your time without a conversation because you will make it work and handle all the consequences.

Op have you explained your job to him yet?

It sounds ridiculous, but when I was working from home, I had to tell my husband to stop expecting big things of me during work hours. For example, he scheduled a landscaper to come on a weekday he had off. Great! But then he thought it was no big deal come home 30 minutes late from golf because I'd be home. What the hell?! Things like this kept happening. I had to have a real sit down talk with him to explain the situation, and tell him to never expect me to be available during the day.

How's it going for you, op?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

It's always been more acceptable for the man to work.

Is this OP? If so why are you working? Because you want to is a good reason. Because you contribute significantly to your household expenses is a very good reason. I would not be ok with my kids watching tv all summer but that’s a conversation that happens between adults who solve a problem together. One person doesn’t just decide to tell the other person they are a bad parent. That’s absolutely not ok. If you don’t think you should be working it’s a different story but that’s not what it seemed from your OP. He doesn’t get to pick an incredibly inflexible job and then just expect you to deal and insult you along the way.

I don't contribute significantly financially. I would just make a terrible SAHM. I need to be around adults.

He didn't pick this job. He was just thrown into it

You said you make 105 a year! That is a significant contribution. Why don’t you realize that?

I guess because we'd be fine without it? It would involve less vacation and a more unreliable retirement, but we wouldn't be poverty-stricken or anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Ok these are the sort of posts that are more disturbing than your OP. You have a solution that would work for you and the kids to a problem HE created and you think he’s going to give you a hard time for implementing it despite it being no issue for him? Red flag x 200000. Do this and he can get over it or solve it another way.

And this is the second reference to your work not being important or worth supporting. Why do you feel this way? Wanting to work is ok. Why is it acceptable to work for him but not you. I think your problems are bigger than this situation.

It's always been more acceptable for the man to work.

Is this OP? If so why are you working? Because you want to is a good reason. Because you contribute significantly to your household expenses is a very good reason. I would not be ok with my kids watching tv all summer but that’s a conversation that happens between adults who solve a problem together. One person doesn’t just decide to tell the other person they are a bad parent. That’s absolutely not ok. If you don’t think you should be working it’s a different story but that’s not what it seemed from your OP. He doesn’t get to pick an incredibly inflexible job and then just expect you to deal and insult you along the way.

I don't contribute significantly financially. I would just make a terrible SAHM. I need to be around adults.

He didn't pick this job. He was just thrown into it

You said you make 105 a year! That is a significant contribution. Why don’t you realize that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

Then they’d have a nanny or live in au pair or arrange a college kid to drive and aftercare.

My bet is he’s a big bully. And makes dumb decisions.

He just can't understand how someone who works from home can't just up and leave to do an errand in the middle of the day.

You can explain it to him.

There ten pages of this thread so far. We all believe you, why is your bar so low for your husband?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him it won’t work and unenroll them — even if I lost my money on it.

They're too excited for that.

My kids' level of excitement over a summer camp does not trump my work responsibilities. I'd tell him to figure it out or cancel it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

He's an army colonel, you can look up his salary. I made $105k a year and drive a 15 year old car, but do go on.

Oh, military. Figures.

You are not his military subordinate. Don’t allow him to treat you like you are and give you orders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

Then they’d have a nanny or live in au pair or arrange a college kid to drive and aftercare.

My bet is he’s a big bully. And makes dumb decisions.

He just can't understand how someone who works from home can't just up and leave to do an errand in the middle of the day.

You can explain it to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

He's an army colonel, you can look up his salary. I made $105k a year and drive a 15 year old car, but do go on.

LOL love you OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

Then they’d have a nanny or live in au pair or arrange a college kid to drive and aftercare.

My bet is he’s a big bully. And makes dumb decisions.

He just can't understand how someone who works from home can't just up and leave to do an errand in the middle of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fly in a Grandparent who is reliable and can drive. Some love this stuff.

My mom would be willing, but DH hates me asking her for help like this ("don't make your life someone else's problem"), so that's an option here, unfortunately.

And I get it. He thinks I'm putting my job before the kids, which yes, is horrible of me.

Why are you such a doormat??

Why does he get to make all the decisions??

My guess is he pulls in a half a mil, she makes 50k but she likes the half a mil lifestyle.

He's an army colonel, you can look up his salary. I made $105k a year and drive a 15 year old car, but do go on.