Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

My nephew divorced his wife because he thought at age 58 he would have fun. He dated this one and that one which I wouldn't call quality women. Turned out he got Covid from one...(her coughing didn't clue him in apparently). He was in the hospital over a week, and is now a long hauler. If he had been better to his wife he wouldn't have gotten that, and he would have someone there to care for him. Now he has to quit work, and worry about finances. I guess I'm not seeing any fun in dating, especially at that stage in life.

Ah, if you leave your wife you will die. I’ll file that away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old men are hilarious. Really. You think it’s about you. It’s about their dad.

In my experience, it isn't. All the young women I've dated were from intact families, and have good relationships with their fathers. Those women typically look to date older because guys their age treat them like garbage.

Anonymous wrote:Old men are hilarious. Really. You think it’s about you. It’s about their dad.

Anonymous wrote:Two rules for women:

1. Men can never be allowed to be happy.
2. Older women are entitled to older men's attention and money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

My nephew divorced his wife because he thought at age 58 he would have fun. He dated this one and that one which I wouldn't call quality women. Turned out he got Covid from one...(her coughing didn't clue him in apparently). He was in the hospital over a week, and is now a long hauler. If he had been better to his wife he wouldn't have gotten that, and he would have someone there to care for him. Now he has to quit work, and worry about finances. I guess I'm not seeing any fun in dating, especially at that stage in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women often feel that they are only valued for their beauty. We often equate youth with beauty. I think some men are really into this idea and speak in a way that is disrespectful to women their age or older. They fetishize youth in their partners and dismiss all women over a certain age as ugly or gross. It’s understandable that these women would then be offended.

Even as a young woman I was grossed out by the whole “trade your 40 y/o wife in for two 20 y/os haha” joke. I think it perpetuates a tired and cruel idea that a woman’s worth is derived only from her beauty and that beauty can only exist for young women. I don’t think that all men who date younger women believe this but there is a loud and vocal group that does. I understand why they bother women of any age.

+1

I heard the “trade their wife in for a new model” jokes when I was in elementary school and even back then I knew enough that it made me furious.

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much.

No one believes that you just came back from lunch with a 28 year old or that she didn’t mind your presence.

Ok you caught me. It was technically midday desserts. Sweet! The ice cream wasn't bad either

You know I didn’t think much of this until I read this guys comments. Now I am going to think of him when I think of older men dating younger women and it is pretty 🤢

Don’t worry he’s just writing bad fiction. There are whole Twitter threads devoted to making fun of men writing women, this would fit in well.

I'm going to take it as a compliment that you think my life is fiction. It doesn't seem all that fantastical or exciting to me. Just a day in the life...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

DP. There is a huge ick factor in men of any age using women as sex toys.

How terrible to lust after your significant other!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.