A rare unanimous dcum response. Yet, OP is trying to prove her point. I get the impression that it is OP that is a crazy sport's parent making DH miss the bapitsm.

So, if the 15 year old is throwing a stink about missing the tournament, have someone take him.
Unless this is a tennis tournament, in which case parents are insane and nothing comes between them and their dreams for Nadal junior.
Who will burn out from it, hate his parents and quit the sport soon enough.

Yes, it's bad. You and your dh are incompetent nincompoops!

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.
Subject line should say son. I also have a daughter but she is going to baptism. Baptism was scheduled months ago so my parents can purchase flights. Plus, baptisms are a big deal in my culture and it is traditional to host a luncheon afterwards so we had to book restaurant and send invitations. This was all scheduled well before we knew about tournament.
Son is 15. Husband is of the same faith as me and his entire family will be there.

Our kids were baptized Catholic. For that and all nieces and nephews, the process was birth, call church, individual or group baptism about 4-8 weeks after the birth. Most had family and friends that went back to the house for cake and light food. Church wants it done ASAP.

It's possible the party was booked before the baptism or the birth. Some parishes or dioceses include on their sites to have the baptism scheduled separately from major wedding like parties requiring lead time.

Since OP is having one of those types of events what happened when the other children were born? Was there contention with DH on those and did he want this scope of party for this baptism? Since this big event exists he really should attend. But more can be going on here than readers know about.

I normally don’t give opinions on other family’s choices but this is very sad to me. The baby’s father and brother should be there, of course! There is no soort event that trumps it (and if there was something so important, the baptism should be rescheduled and you can pay the change fee for your parents’ flights).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine when your child looks back at photos and asks where his dad and brother are? Oh, they had a soccer game. Awful. Family comes first.

+1.

And the now-grown baby will be wondering why sister/brother is just a middling insurance claims clerk. "Like, hey what happened to the big soccer career that was so important you had to miss my CHRISTENING for, huh?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looked at another way, OP, you are prioritizing your parents' attendance over your husband and son's. If it's that important to you that he be there, reschedule.

That is utterly bonkers. Her parents are flying from overseas. Invitations have been sent out. A venue is booked. A GAME does not trump all that.

Plus, didn’t OP say her husband helped pick the date??

Exactly. She says he is religious and helped pick the date. So what is the story, OP? What on earth would cause him to miss something important enough for your parents to fly overseas for a kids’ soccer tournament?

(Personally I would be sure my son went as well but at the VERY least son should go with a teammate so the father would be there. I’d be embarrassed for my son to miss his brother’s Baptism, though!

What does your son say, OP?

Anonymous wrote:It's really a simple choice:
Either you are planning to raise your child in your faith, and this baptism is a critical part of their eternal salvation, or you aren't.

I can imagine a scenario where baptism isn't actually important to you and you chose to do this to make someone else (your parents?) happy. In that case, just own up to it and cancel the baptism.

If you do believe that baptism is a holy sacrament, then I can't even believe you'd consider doing it without your husband there.

Why are you putting the blame on HER? He is choosing not to go. They both chose the date, sent out the invistations, booked a venue. Rescheduling is not an option. The only option is whether DH is prioritizing a sport over a sacrament. This is entirely HIS bad choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looked at another way, OP, you are prioritizing your parents' attendance over your husband and son's. If it's that important to you that he be there, reschedule.

That is utterly bonkers. Her parents are flying from overseas. Invitations have been sent out. A venue is booked. A GAME does not trump all that.

Plus, didn’t OP say her husband helped pick the date??

Anonymous wrote:Looked at another way, OP, you are prioritizing your parents' attendance over your husband and son's. If it's that important to you that he be there, reschedule.

That is utterly bonkers. Her parents are flying from overseas. Invitations have been sent out. A venue is booked. A GAME does not trump all that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, I missed my great-grandmother's 100th birthday for a sports tournament. I don't know why my mother let me do that at 16. Decades later, I was looking at the video and photos with family. I wished that I had been at the birthday party and spent that important milestone with family. As you may have guessed, the tournament has yielded zero levels of importance in my life.

Skip the tournament. No one will care or notice, and there will be thousands more just like it in the life of a travel sports family

My relative missed a grandparent's funeral due to a middle school academic competition out of state (they didn't even tell the child about the death until it was over). Only grandchild out of 23 who was not there. It remains a bit of a sore spot for that individual 50 years later.

I would have had my kid miss it too. The relative had already passed, going to the funeral doesn't change that. Be there for the important people in your lives while they are still living, not after they are dead.

Everyone grieving the honored loved one is who you go to a funeral for. Funerals are not for the dead. They are for gathering the family with live, strengthening the family bond. I would be livid to be left out when my 23 other cousins were part of it.

When my granny died, my first cousins from all over the world came. Many of us didn’t k so each other as kids and that weekend was a huge bonding weekend. We still talk about it 30 years later. Funerals are for the living.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your husband not want this newest baby, OP?

OP here. Husband wanted the baby! And to reiterate, he is.of the same faith and was involved with picking the date!

Your husband is 100% out of line. He needs to tell 15 year old that family rituals are more important than travel sports. I’m not a practicing Catholic anymore but I would prioritize any family sacrament even in my extended family over sports. When family gathers together, family needs to be there. I can’t believe your DH is teaching your son to blow off family in favor of a game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is starting his favoritism a little early.

I’m surprised the church agreed to baptize a baby with one parent choosing not to attend.

Why would they deny a sacrament to an innocent child?

Deny? No. Insist on rescheduling? Yes. The baby has two parents (not dead, divorced or deployed or of a different faith, per OP) who are standing up to assert that they will raise the child Christian in the Church and Daddy peaces out to a soccer game instead? Yeah, no.

Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine when your child looks back at photos and asks where his dad and brother are? Oh, they had a soccer game. Awful. Family comes first.

+1.

Anonymous wrote:Please slap some sense into you husband. This is a silly kid’s soccer game. It should not even be a discussion.

This. My husband might ponder this for a second but would come to his senses.