Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad I met my wife before I found DCUM. So full of nasty women.

Awww looky here, another Peter Pan who never grew up and still needs a mommy instead of an equal partner.

Yes, what a loser.

I call BS. What kind of meeting and why blow off your child he didn’t forget and I’m not sure he was in a meeting.

Anonymous wrote:If you are both in meetings when your kid needs picking up from aftercare this is a logistics issue not just a communication/spouse issue. What time was it? If you both regularly work late it might make more sense to get an after school sitter. I finish work at 6pm twice a week and the school aftercare ends at 6, so we don’t use it.

No its not! She communicated, she was at work, and he just couldn't get there, text her, call her, text again at 5:30 saying "Stuck at work and can't get out" or ANYTHING. No.

I would be LIVID! Like divorce level livid, especially after multiple times. I’m not a “man hater”. In 33 years of marriage, I have never been livid with my husband. At most I’ve been annoyed. You don’t forget a kid. That’s a level of irresponsibility that I could not live with. It doesn’t even sound like he forgot. He just decided the meeting was more important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the end result? This would determine my anger level.

End result: I had to cancel a meeting, sprint over to aftercare (because spouse had the car) and pick up the child. I was 2 minutes late. And strapping on a mask after sprinting is dizzying.

The excuse: “I was in a meeting.”

In this case, anger level would be 20.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you rescuing him, OP? Just stop. Let him deal with it. Let daycare call him.

+1

I've been late to pick up my kids, once even 20 minutes late. It's embarrassing, I hate the little lecture they give me, but I and my kids lived, and I wouldn't dream of making my spouse miss out on something important just because I forgot.

your poor kid. Of course, this is not a life/death situation, but poor kids.

Being late because you were tied up in traffic is one thing, but being late because you forgot you had to pickup your own kids or you didn't want to leave a meeting even though you knew you had to get your kids is another.

I have been late simply because I forgot. My poor kid indeed (although from the kid’s perspective I don’t think the reason matters), but in the grand scheme of things I really don’t think it’s a big deal. Those times when I snapped at my kid because I lost my patience on the other hand, that I really feel guilty about.

NP: If you think 20 minutes late one time = poor kid, you need the book The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. Our kids need to experience minor upsets and stresses and they need adults who can model that these things are not a catastrophe. If this was my spouse, I'd say "are you blocking off your pickup times in your calendar? That's what I do and I hope you will too because next time I'm not running over when you agreed to do pickup."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you rescuing him, OP? Just stop. Let him deal with it. Let daycare call him.

+1

I've been late to pick up my kids, once even 20 minutes late. It's embarrassing, I hate the little lecture they give me, but I and my kids lived, and I wouldn't dream of making my spouse miss out on something important just because I forgot.

your poor kid. Of course, this is not a life/death situation, but poor kids.

Being late because you were tied up in traffic is one thing, but being late because you forgot you had to pickup your own kids or you didn't want to leave a meeting even though you knew you had to get your kids is another.

I have been late simply because I forgot. My poor kid indeed (although from the kid’s perspective I don’t think the reason matters), but in the grand scheme of things I really don’t think it’s a big deal. Those times when I snapped at my kid because I lost my patience on the other hand, that I really feel guilty about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you rescuing him, OP? Just stop. Let him deal with it. Let daycare call him.

+1

I've been late to pick up my kids, once even 20 minutes late. It's embarrassing, I hate the little lecture they give me, but I and my kids lived, and I wouldn't dream of making my spouse miss out on something important just because I forgot.

your poor kid. Of course, this is not a life/death situation, but poor kids.

Being late because you were tied up in traffic is one thing, but being late because you forgot you had to pickup your own kids or you didn't want to leave a meeting even though you knew you had to get your kids is another.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men need to read this thread before getting married or having children.

Agree. It’s important they understand the responsibility of being a parent.

I will say again.. most men should NOT have kids. They cannot handle the responsibility and get mad if you expect them to actually be a responsible adult. Too many dads parent by minimum effort.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you rescuing him, OP? Just stop. Let him deal with it. Let daycare call him.

+1

I've been late to pick up my kids, once even 20 minutes late. It's embarrassing, I hate the little lecture they give me, but I and my kids lived, and I wouldn't dream of making my spouse miss out on something important just because I forgot.

Anonymous wrote:The first time this happened I would be at a 3.

Any subsequent event would be a 10. These are his children.

Me too. It's hard to get me angry when it really is an honest mistake. But messing up over and over again? Not acceptable.

My asd spouse was 20 minutes late for my kids sidwell friends interview despite reminders, calendar invites, verbal reminders, calls during lunch.

I had a quarterly board meeting and it was the one private school interview he was to cover - pick kid up from school and take to the interview.

He was sitting at his desk when the 2pm interview should have started and “could not stop emailing.” He said sorry but he certainly didn’t act it.

Basically, don’t give this type of person anything important. And often not even unimportant stuff. I spend 3x long fixing all his mistakes and messes than if I had managed, trained and paid someone else to do it. It’s exhausting for sure. And a real turn off.

First time, I'd be annoyed, but not angry. We all mess up sometimes. After that, and if it happened quarterly, apparently, I'd be angry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Charge him the $5 a minute late pick up fee.

Put it in your future therapy bill bank. Living with a flake and having to be vigilant for the 10% if the time he cannot or will not do what he agreed to do sounds krappy.

Good luck with that. He’ll laugh in your face.

Ok then have the day care charge the family that. Or do you want him to play a game of chicken with his wife every time the kid needs something that he’s in charge off.

It’s one thing if he forgets his own keys and is late. Quite another that he “forgets” what time it is or to pick up his toddler or baby at closing time.

Anonymous wrote:Men need to read this thread before getting married or having children.

Pffft I don’t need to read anything to know I gotta go pick my kids up on time, without fail.